The problem of loneliness. Loneliness as a social problem

Life is an interesting, amazing and deep thing, but due to many circumstances this is not always obvious and not for everyone. Living truly, fully and meaningfully is very difficult, especially now, in our complex and controversial era.

A lot of problems, difficulties and stressful situations constantly “fall on our heads”. We are forever spinning like squirrels in a wheel, and as soon as we manage to get out of one, we immediately fall into another, unable to break this one ...

Problem
From 10 to 30% of the population of developed countries suffer from chronic loneliness, in which a person feels cut off from the rest of the world, psychologists say. In fact, there are two types of loneliness. Transient loneliness is short-lived and caused by a specific cause.

For example, you will feel lonely if the company you work for moves you to another city and you have to move away from friends and family. Eventually, you will make new friends, and...

It feels - this feeling does not necessarily reflect the real situation - but this does not make the feeling of loneliness any easier, and attempts to convince the client of the obvious "error" of this feeling rarely lead to success.

People try to hide from this painful feeling in a cheerful, noisy "secular" life, which sooner or later tires and bothers. Others hope that the creation of a family, a feeling of love for their loved ones will save them from the emptiness and longing of loneliness. However, it turns out that...

Loneliness, its size and strength had no limit. Loneliness is not when you are alone in an empty house, but when among noisy people, in a cheerful company, you understand that these people are strangers to you. Loneliness is when you realize that not a single person will know everything that you would like to say, but you will not say, because you yourself do not want to know it.

Loneliness is when you are talking to a person, and you notice that he does not hear you, that he himself is trying to tell you something, but you do not hear him. Do not you...

Looking at modern society, you can see more and more lonely people. I wonder why there are so many men and women without a partner? Perhaps we have forgotten how to communicate, get acquainted, and perhaps the problem lies much deeper than it seems at first glance.

How to build relationships, create a family, and save it? We have been taught for so long and tediously in schools and other educational institutions, but the most important thing has not been taught. In this article, I want to talk about single women, because they ...

Everyone knows what the feeling of loneliness is and how it feels. Everyone has experienced this experience at least once in their life. Everyone has this feeling in their own way, but perhaps everyone will agree that it is very uncomfortable.

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a state. This is what a person experiences within himself.

What do we often confuse with loneliness?

Very often, being in such a state, experiencing our feeling of loneliness, it seems to us that this happens because ...

If two people meet and talk, then the purpose of this conversation is not to exchange information or evoke emotions, but to hide behind words that emptiness, silence and loneliness in which a person exists / Wystan Oden

Feeling like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my voice, and no one hears. / Titanic. Rose DeWitt Bukater

Consider how loneliness manifests itself from childhood and into adulthood of a man.

In fact, if you look, then a person throughout ...

Oddly enough, but the ability to be alone is a condition for the ability to love.
/ Erich Frome

Loneliness is an internally experienced state of a person - “I am alone”, while it is not always determined by external conditions. A person can feel lonely both alone with himself and in the company of people. In companies, this feeling can arise when there is no unity, similarity, or support. And if in the first case a person tries to occupy himself with business or surround himself with people as much as possible, then in the second ...

The problem of loneliness, as you know, is extremely acute in modern society.

Discussing this problem, we will not plunge into scientific reasoning, thoroughly flavored with psychological terminology and consider all aspects of the problem from twenty-five angles of view and points of contemplation, systematically interweaving quotes from eminent authors - classics of psychology. From specialized literature, the reader may learn that loneliness is associated with deprivation of social contacts, may stem from childhood, may be associated with a narcissistic vector in the character of the individual, and so on. We will try to avoid special terminology and try to consider the topic of loneliness in a popular way, with a creative translation of the latter into human language and, of course, a bit of spiritual participation for those who are not just interested in this problem, but live in it and suffer - if not constantly, then with sadness. regularity.

You can recognize people who, by an effort of will, have driven the feeling of loneliness somewhere deeper by characteristic phrases and expressions

Loneliness is a real and serious problem.

Loneliness is really a problem. And the problem is real. Someone may consider it far-fetched, but not those people who have experienced all the devastation that loneliness brings to their lives. Loneliness drives someone crazy, paralyzes the will to live, drives them to suicide, makes them seek salvation in sects and God knows where else. For others, being alone is nothing unnatural. For some people, loneliness is an absolutely normal existence that does not carry any discomfort. On the contrary, it is an additional opportunity for self-improvement, development, gaining knowledge, freedom of maneuver, freedom of decision-making, responsibility for one's life, creativity, finally.

Both categories of people are interesting. But, if the second does not need help and words of participation, then those people for whom loneliness is a problem usually need them. Rather, not even words, but real help, and, in many cases, professional help.

Who doesn't know yet

In principle, one more category of people can be distinguished - these are those who are not aware that they are alone; more precisely, that loneliness is a problem for them. These are those who, for some reason, “decided” for themselves that they don’t need anyone else, that the relationship still doesn’t add up and now they are on their own. These people are strikingly different from “true” loners in that they have this problem in reality - they did not solve it, but simply shoved it into the basement of their subconscious and crushed it with a heavier cabinet. In principle, for the time being, such people can live relatively calmly and even happily (at first glance). But in their “basement” there is not something, but their personal “nuclear bomb”, which can explode at the most inopportune moment. Rush like what? Well, for example, manifest in the form of stress, depression, awareness of one's own insignificance after some provocative situation. At the same time, situations can be very diverse - from observing rejoicing colleagues to a yellow leaf that has come off a bare branch on a fine autumn day.

Marker phrases

You can recognize people who, by an effort of will, have driven the feeling of loneliness somewhere deeper by characteristic phrases and expressions.

For example:

• "I do not need anyone"
• "And I'm so good"
• "Since I stopped talking ... my life has improved"
• “It doesn’t matter, no one needs me, so why torture yourself”
• "I am completely self-sufficient"
• “People are rare idiots, I don’t need anything from them”
• "I'm too complex and people avoid me"
• "No one can get along with me anyway"
• "I'm too smart and it's hard for me to make friends"
• "I can't stand all these gatherings"
• And so on and so forth.

This recalls Cadet Bigler from The Good Soldier Schweik by Yaroslav Hasek: “The cadet washed his reddened eyes with water and went out into the corridor, deciding to be strong, devilishly strong.”

bodily manifestations

Naturally, among such people there may be those who really do not need communication, or they need it in absolutely minimal quantities. And, the difference between one and the other is that while some live in peace with themselves, while others simply hide the truth, and, as we mentioned, not only from others, but, first of all, from themselves.

However, in many cases, people who “invented” loneliness for themselves are betrayed by an internal traitor - their own body and emotions, which, as you know, are extremely difficult to control everything. An attentive observer, even if he has not known such a person for a long time, can pay attention to the fact that when pronouncing the above “code phrases”, sadness “collects” in the corners of the person’s eyes, the smile can become pathetic; or, on the contrary, an outburst of anger may follow, which, at first glance, is not provoked by anything. These may be lowered shoulders, it may be a detached facial expression, a heavy (or not very) sigh, clenching hands, a sudden increased interest in some parts of the body (for example, a person can pull at the tip of the nose, ear, etc.) and other bodily manifestations.

In general, in order for a psychologist to have a reason to work with such a “hidden under lock and key” problem, it is necessary that the person himself realizes it and comes.

It is clear that there are people who suffer from loneliness and are quite aware of it. And, sadly, there are many such people. And, much more than it might seem. Someone calls loneliness the problem of big cities, someone is the problem of our time, someone else is some kind of problem. Yes, there are many sources of loneliness. Psychoanalysts would start looking for problems from childhood, Mr. K. Rogers (American psychologist, one of the founders and leaders of humanistic psychology) would talk about the weak adaptability of the personality, someone else about the lack of social communication, R. Assagioli (Italian psychologist, psychiatrist , humanist, founder of psychosynthesis - a theoretical and methodological concept of psychotherapy and human self-development), would probably recommend the reassembly of personality. And so on. Everything that is stated in the professional psychological literature on this topic has been tested, worked out and has a place to be. It is also true that for the most part it is difficult for a person to solve the problem of loneliness on his own. For this, a psychologist will be useful. But, fortunately, not always.

How is it manifested?

It would be appropriate to say a few more words about terminology. Obviously, it is necessary to distinguish between loneliness as a temporary lack of communication, that is, in general, loneliness is normal and not traumatic for a person, and loneliness as a psychological state that complicates life. In which, having a formal circle of friends, like even friends, acquaintances, a person feels lonely.
For example, it might look like this:

• “In the evening I met with friends, had a good time, and then I returned home and I became so lonely again !!”
• “There are a lot of people around, but there is no one to talk, chat with.”
• “I used to have many friends, but now they have changed, they have become kind of nasty. I do not want to communicate with them. I feel very lonely." Gogol's The Government Inspector comes to mind here: “I see some pig snouts instead of faces, but nothing else ...”
• “No one in this world understands me. I feel terribly lonely. I even started talking to myself."
• “Those men who like me do not pay attention to me and vice versa. And I can’t step over myself - I can’t live with someone who I don’t like. And because of all this, I feel very lonely.”
• “The guy left me. And friends, too, are always busy with their own affairs. Nobody needs me. I'm very lonely."

Obviously, behind all these stories lies a temporary state of loneliness - when you just need to be alone, put your thoughts and feelings in order and re-open this life. That is, loneliness in such a situation is like a good reason to take a break from active communication and understand yourself a little. And, of course, there are cases of that same terrible loneliness that quickly and abundantly makes people rust even in dry, clear weather. And, formally, such loneliness may not exist - a person can be all right from the point of view of an outside observer - and work, and social circle and some interests. But the problem is that loneliness is not formal. And it is not measured by the number of friends, acquaintances, work, social activities - no, it sits inside a person. In other words, in the presence of all of the above, a person can be lonely - because he feels like that. Thus, loneliness is a personal state of a person. It may be temporary, or it may be permanent and acquired from childhood, as the psychoanalytic school rightly observes.

Causes of loneliness

What can be "recorded" as the causes of loneliness? The list is quite varied.

• One of the causes of loneliness is a person's low self-esteem. That is, for one reason or another, a person may believe that he is not interesting to other people. For example, that he is miserable, insignificant, weak, boring ... the list of epithets that a person can “reward” himself with can be continued for a very long time. An additional negative effect is that in such a situation a person receives confirmation of his worthlessness - after all, no one communicates with him (although, in general, he does not allow himself to do this). And this, in turn, reduces this very self-esteem even more. In today's current terms, it reduces it to the state of nano-self-esteem.
• On the contrary, a person may be too arrogant. “And with whom to communicate”, “There are only idiots around”, “They are no match for me.” This usually happens within the framework of a narcissistic vector in a person's character. Although, one must understand that under this, in fact, just the same low self-esteem can be hidden. And flaunting such phrases will be nothing more than an attempt to hide your fear of others. “Concerned about how they are perceived by others, narcissistically organized people have a deep feeling that they are deceived and unloved. It can be expected that they will be able to help develop self-acceptance and deepen their relationship by extending dynamic psychology to areas that Freud had just begun to touch. Our understanding of narcissism has been enhanced by attention to the concepts of basic security and identity (Sullivan, 1953; Erickson, 1950, 1968), the concept of the self as an alternative to the more functionalist concept of the ego (Winnicott, 1960b; Jacobson, 1964); the concept of self-esteem regulation (A. Reich, 1960); the concepts of attachment and separation (Spitz, 1965; Bowlby, 1969, 1973); concepts of developmental delay and deficiency (Kohut, 1971; Stolorow & Lachmann, 1978) and shame (Lynd, 1958; Lewis, 1971; Morrison, 1989)." - ist. N. McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnostics
• People who are prone to dependence on other people and who, accordingly, are afraid of "dissolving" in stronger fellow tribesmen or partners may avoid close contacts, dooming themselves to loneliness. For example, it is likely that many people, when trying to build close (often meaning family) relationships, have met such potential partners. At first, relationships begin to develop well - dynamically, brightly, beautifully, love, dreams, hopes, joint plans ... But, suddenly, as you move to a logical conclusion - marriage, or cohabitation, the partner suddenly begins to somehow quickly “deflate”, get cold right on eyes. And, in the end, relationships are torn, sometimes not even reaching sex. At the same time, the “fearful” receives one more confirmation that it will be more comfortable for him to be alone. In particular, this may be present with a schizoid component in a person's character (not to be confused with schizophrenia). “The primary relationship conflict in schizoid people concerns closeness and distance, love and fear. Their subjective life is permeated by a deep ambivalence (duality) about attachment. They crave intimacy even though they feel the constant threat of being swallowed up by others. They seek distance to maintain their security and independence, but suffer from remoteness and loneliness (Karon & VanderBos, 1981). Guntrip (1952) described the "classic dilemma" of schizoid individuals as follows: "They can neither be in a relationship with another person, nor be out of this relationship, without risking somehow losing both themselves and the object." This statement points to this dilemma as "internal and external program". Robbins (1988) summarizes this dynamic in this message: "Come closer - I'm lonely, but stay away - I'm afraid of penetration." Sexually, some schizoid people are surprisingly indifferent, often despite being able to function and have an orgasm. The closer the Other, the stronger the fear that sex means a trap. - ist. N. McWilliams, Psychoanalytic Diagnostics
• Where could this come from? For example, from childhood - with an overprotective, downright "suffocating" mother.
• Another reason could be simply a lack of communication skills. A person, for one reason or another, simply does not know how to right - it means to speak and act in the way it is accepted in the society in which you are located and even go beyond - in the way accepted in society) communicate. There can be many reasons - maybe these skills were not instilled in childhood, when the child was brought up in a specific family, maybe the person moved to another country. Why is there a country - in big cities people are discriminated against even by their village accent - naturally, they have to make more efforts to fit into the society that they have chosen for themselves. However, the opposite is also true. This also includes the problems of communication of various social strata - it is clear that a loader who, by chance, got into a professorial family with an appropriate circle of friends, must have truly outstanding abilities so that he is accepted there, if not for his own, then at least simply accepted. Obviously, this does not always happen.
• Psychological trauma may be the cause of loneliness. For example, a raped woman may develop a stable perception of herself (which is further facilitated by the ambivalent attitude towards victims of violence in our society - such as she is to blame, provoked, and so on) as defiled, dirty, unworthy. Naturally, such self-representation does not contribute not only to the search for a partner, but also to any kind of communication in general. Or maybe it will be the trauma of betrayal. Moreover, in this case, it doesn’t matter what kind - the betrayal of a loved one or parents even in childhood can lead to the same consequences. After all, one must always remember that even if it is perceived harmlessly from the outside, it can have a devastating effect on a specific person, which he will not be able to cope with on his own.
• In addition, there is an assumption that as a person's consciousness grows, the level of loneliness, so to speak, grows. The level of consciousness, to put it simply, is usually understood as the level of awareness of oneself in this world and this world itself as a whole. For example, about what I do on this earth, or, more down to earth, things are not always what they seem. For example, a joint bottle does not guarantee that the drinking buddy is a good man and a person with a certain level of consciousness “catches up” with this. More detailed information on levels of consciousness can be searched in search engines for "logical levels of consciousness". So, the higher this level, the more a person perceives himself as lonely. Well, since the level of consciousness largely correlates with intelligence, it would be quite appropriate to weave Schopenhauer here with the quote: "Loneliness is the lot of all outstanding minds." However, the growth of "comfortable" loneliness as the level of consciousness rises is rather hypothetical.
• And, of course, there are quite physiological reasons for loneliness. For example, a person from childhood has pronounced autistic features, which, obviously, are not conducive to communication. But, in this case, this is not entirely loneliness, since such people feel quite well in their world.

From what we have considered, it becomes clear that in some cases loneliness goes away with the beginning of communication (then, in fact, it is not loneliness), the feeling of loneliness may increase or, conversely, weaken over time; people may try to “suppress” their loneliness by constantly busying themselves with something - work, hobbies, some kind of communication; Not every type of loneliness can be dealt with on its own. Longing, despair, depression - these are just some of his companions.

About choice and responsibility.

It is often believed that the situation of loneliness can be productively used for self-development. Or, in other words, to raise the level of consciousness. In principle, this is possible. But it would be a big mistake to think that everyone can do it. First, as we have seen, the types and stages of loneliness are very different. In some states, a person is simply not able to break out of the limits of his narrowed world, squeezed in the vice of loneliness. Secondly, not all people find pleasure in self-development, moreover, they are simply not able to develop.

And in general, there is a danger in development for many people (or rather, for their existing world) - development makes it possible to rethink oneself, life, surrounding, close people, their behavior, attitude to many things. This means that the person is changing. And changes in a person imply other changes - a change of interests, friends, partners. And this requires responsibility and will. Obviously, we are talking about personal responsibility - taking on all the decisions and choices that a person makes. And with responsibility in our age, as you know, bad. To make a choice, and one that matches the desires of the person himself, and would not be an attempt to please everyone - not everyone is capable of this. And the point here is not only in a weak will, but in the unconscious component of our personality, which is extremely dodgy able to protect a person from what “seems” dangerous to her. Thus, most people in such a situation would prefer proven and “painless” decisions - to remain in the already existing reality (the benefit may “ripen” and additional benefits - for example, in the form of pity from loved ones), and instead of making sometimes difficult choices and decisions fill your vacuum with meaningless or conditionally meaningless activities like workaholism. Moreover, the inability to take responsibility leads to places where decisions are easily and naturally made for them - for example, sects that accept people with open arms and with extraordinary ease give them a simple and understandable meaning of existence in a society of their own kind. Obviously, the issue of responsibility and choice arises not only when trying to develop and, first of all, the development of the level of consciousness, which was used as an example.

I am a practicing psychologist, I edit this blog and write a lot for it myself. It is difficult to name my field of interest in psychology - after all, everything related to people is insanely interesting! Now I pay considerable attention to the topics of narcissism, psychological abuse, relationships, personality crises, taking responsibility for one's life, self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of the consultation is 3000 rubles per hour. t. +7 926 211-18-64, in person (Moscow, metro station Maryina Roshcha), or via Skype (barbaris71).

Contact with me

A distinctive feature of modern man from the rest of the animal world is the problem of loneliness and the absence of loved ones.

Loneliness is the state of a lonely person. There is a feeling that there is no close friend to whom you can trust your thoughts and who will understand you. “Loneliness is not due to the absence of people around, but the inability to talk with people about what seems important to you, or the unacceptability of your views to others,” wrote the German philosopher and psychologist. As a rule, the state of loneliness brings suffering.
Before going directly to the topic of conversation, it is necessary to make a small digression.

Man is a social being. Only by leading a social lifestyle, he was able to survive in the wild. Only by common efforts did he achieve his exceptional position in the animal kingdom. Only thanks to the accumulation and transfer from generation to generation of their knowledge and experience, modern people can use the achievements of all mankind. It is no coincidence that I mentioned these, at first glance, banal things, since they are sometimes hushed up or completely ignored when analyzing such a problem as loneliness.

Man is a biosocial being. Innate forms of behavior, such as the instinct of procreation and group lifestyle, formed as a result of natural selection, are organically woven into the modern cultural and social order.

Loneliness of the soul. Alone among the people.

Living in a society, it is impossible to be alone in literally this word. We are always among people. We are surrounded by people who live with us at the same time, in a common culture and society. The level of development, mentality and interests correspond to a certain social stratum and age.
The problem of loneliness is, first of all, the problem of the absence of a couple, and not just a couple, but the absence of a loved one. The very fact of having a loved one will fill your life with meaning for a while. Then everything will depend on how the relationship develops, but the problem of loneliness will be closed. A separate article will be devoted to the topic of searching and choosing a partner.

As for communication with others, here we can note two points that can prevent the formation of new relationships and which are associated with character traits, or rather, with the attitude towards oneself (I am bad) and towards other people (They are bad).

Position: I am bad. It often arises as a result of ignorance of the accepted rituals of behavior existing in a certain social environment and the inability to maintain a conversation. As a result, self-esteem falls, a feeling of inferiority appears.

Position: They are bad. Sometimes, getting into an unfavorable or insufficiently benevolent environment, in comparison with what it was before, a person may find himself alone against society. The instinct of self-preservation is triggered, a negative attitude towards the environment and alertness to any active contacts with the outside world appear. The desire to do something yourself disappears. Subsequently, the environment or situation may change, but the attitude remains.

Loneliness problem. One among myself.

The way of life, which is embedded in us by nature and society, involves communication and interaction, it does not provide for a solitary existence. leading a group lifestyle, and a person includes a need for belonging. Loneliness can only be of an objective temporary nature or be chosen at will (solitude).

Some people prioritize the sense of security and security that a group provides, while others prefer a more solitary lifestyle, content with only a narrow social circle. When alone, thoughts of loneliness do not disturb, but this is a completely different topic for a completely different conversation.
Friedrich Nietzsche remarked ironically on this subject: “There are two kinds of loneliness. For one, loneliness is the flight of the sick, for the other it is the flight from the sick.

Only physical and spiritual activity can pull a person out of loneliness. It is necessary to go into society, to people, to accept the rules of the game by which they live, and to participate in joint activities. Only communication in a group united by a common interest (study, work or hobby), in which a person feels their, can change position.

The problem of loneliness from the plane general concepts and reasoning must be translated into concrete action. Then it becomes clear which is stronger: either the desire to find a way out of the existing problem, or the unwillingness to make the necessary efforts to find this way out.

Text from the exam

(1) It seems that the fear of being alone is much more likely than it seems to determine the behavior of people. (2) For example, it is embarrassing for many to walk alone or go to a cafe, it is unbearable to return to an empty apartment in the evening, it is not clear how to spend a weekend or vacation without a company. (3) A hasty marriage, casual friends, meaningless communication are designed to drown out an unpleasant experience, to give confidence. (4) The situation is especially difficult for people who feel lonely, being in the circle of friends or family members. (5) Of course, independent, independent individuals easily experience loneliness, and if at some time they lack communication, then it is enough to see an old friend. (6) A person who hoped to overcome loneliness by entering into marriage will be greatly disappointed if he is convinced that this did not happen. (7) Loneliness is painfully experienced by people who could not imagine themselves without living together with someone, and then unexpectedly, due to a divorce or death of a loved one, they were alone. (8) For those who are acutely experiencing their loneliness, there are many programs of psychological and psychotherapeutic assistance. (9) These are meeting groups, as well as trainings that teach acquaintance skills, establishing mutual understanding and sincere, open relationships. (10) Running away from loneliness is wrong and useless, scientists say. (11) The American psychologist J. Odie came to the conclusion that this feeling is creative in nature: (12) “The healthy development of the psyche requires alternating periods of intense receipt of sensations and information with periods of immersion in solitude in order to process them.” (13) According to the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, for the development of a person, “seven times the experience of loneliness” is necessary. (14) Only alone with yourself can you hear your soul, find and understand the only one who will never leave you - yourself. (15) And a person with a full and whole soul is always attractive to others, so he will definitely find with whom to share love and friendship!

(According to M. Shirokova)

Introduction

Problem

The problem of loneliness worries psychologists, poets and writers, artists and scientists. People are trying to comprehend the causes of loneliness, to find out the positive aspects of the conflicting feelings associated with the state of loneliness. M. Shirokova tried to express her point of view on this topic.

Comment

She reflects on the problem of loneliness, considering it a motive for any human actions. Sometimes people are even afraid to have lunch or take a walk alone with themselves. In order to somehow smooth out unpleasant feelings for themselves, many people get married or marry without love, they try to be in touch with friends every second through smartphones and communication applications.

The consequence of hasty actions is disappointment - in oneself, in family, in friends. Indeed, without real feelings and mutual understanding, it will not work to share your interests and needs. In other words, this is not the way to overcome loneliness.

There are strong personalities in the world for whom being alone with thoughts means finding answers to many questions related to the knowledge of the world and the people around them. Psychologists are sure that a person needs a feeling of loneliness for harmonious development and the correct building of relationships with reality.

Getting impressions and information should alternate with the moments of their comprehension - the moments of sacred communication with oneself. According to F. Nietzsche, a German philosopher, a person must experience “seven times the experience of loneliness” in his life in order to develop correctly.

Author's position

own position

After reflecting on the proposed text, I would like to agree with its author. We are not going anywhere from loneliness. The feeling of loneliness can push us to take more active steps in the field of building relationships with people - caring for the elderly, finding a soul mate, having children.

Inner experiences encourage creative people to create magnificent works of art: literary essays, heart-rending musical sketches or masterpieces of painting.

Argument #1

Thinking about loneliness, one cannot help but recall the words from the poem by M.Yu. Lermontov's "Sail": "A lonely sail turns white in the fog of the blue sea. What is he looking for in a distant country? What did he throw in his native land? The poet throughout his short life reflected on the feeling of abandonment, uselessness and restlessness. The theme of loneliness has become one of the main in his work.

It seems to me that the reasons for Lermontov's inexplicable anguish, his understanding of himself as an exile, a proud and lonely Demon, lie in the childhood of the rebellious poet, because he was left an orphan with a living father. He suffered a lot, and the result of these sufferings were his immortal poems.

Argument #2

Another striking literary example of the influence of loneliness on a person's life is the story of F.M. Dostoevsky "White Nights". Main character so lonely that, as he walks, he converses with the trees and buildings he meets. When life gives him a chance for love, he loses it, because he does not know how to live in reality. Most likely, he is not able to build simple human communication, the result of which can be strong family ties.

Conclusion

Loneliness is scary, but it also creates. Self-sufficient people easily cope with this feeling, benefiting from it - knowing themselves and creating the greatest and most powerful works.

Is loneliness in modern life a natural reaction to the development of society?

Maria Barnikova

Loneliness is a modern “disease” of our society, which psychotherapists are trying unsuccessfully to overcome so far. At the same time, it has a global character in developed and urbanized countries. That is, with the development of mankind, various phobias and sociological problems also evolve. In times far from us, a person who tried to survive alone was doomed in advance to suffering and a hard […]

Loneliness is a modern "disease" of our society, which psychotherapists have so far unsuccessfully tried to overcome. At the same time, it has a global character in developed and urbanized countries. That is, with the development of mankind, various phobias and sociological problems also evolve. In times far from us, a person who tried to survive alone was doomed in advance to suffering and a difficult existence, which is why they were considered martyrs, saints or hermits. Only together could a community of people develop productively, repulse the enemy and conduct successful economic activities. In other words, a hundred years ago, a person did not have the physical ability to be alone, and at the same time be self-sufficient and successful.

The tendency to be alone

World Wide Web Internet, the improvement of the international transport system and the globalization of world processes, gradually leveled the need for close ties between people for the development of society. For example, today in many areas of activity (especially in the field of culture, high technology, scientific research - rather highly paid areas), the role of massive collective efforts to achieve success is no different from the disparate actions of individuals united by the World Wide Web, under the control of a small number of talented leaders. In addition, the development of the media and the computer industry is attracting more and more attention. Significant amounts of money are invested in these projects, the purpose of which is to keep the viewer's attention as long as possible.

And these are just a few of the main reasons that stimulate the development of a trend towards a lonely way of life. A person got a real opportunity to be successful without close contact with society, this is exactly what it is. main reason such a thing as loneliness. But the need for communication and contact has not disappeared anywhere, they have simply atrophied, distorted, and taken on false forms. Such pseudo-freedom, in fact, makes it impossible to lead a natural way of life. The worst scenario for the development of such a situation is the attempts of the carriers of a lonely lifestyle to impose their opinion on others, to sort of find confirmation of the correctness of their actions among other people.

This does not apply to those people who, for certain reasons, have become lonely or cannot communicate: people with disabilities, people of age or those who suffer from a mental disorder. We are talking about those who voluntarily withdrew into themselves and sincerely believe that loneliness is a normal way of life, a natural reaction to the development of modern society. At the same time, many go further and reject family ties and values. The most mysterious factor in this situation is that the phenomenon of social loneliness in modern conditions affects young and middle-aged people who still have the psychological and parental support of people of a more mature generation - their parents, who grew up in close social ties. It is difficult to predict what will happen in the future, when a whole generation of single people will grow up, brought up by single people.

hide from everyone

For many, loneliness is a kind of screen that allows you to hide your complexes or other shortcomings, which will progress more and more over the years. Not trying to join society, opposing himself to it, a person unconsciously (in rare cases this happens in full understanding of what is happening) is afraid to be himself and closes himself. Such a "protective cocoon" gives the illusion of the correctness of what is happening, gives strength to maintain the effect of independence and success. Separated by such a screen from the whole world, it is convenient and pleasant to nurture in your own mind your pricelessness and uniqueness, to form a high self-esteem and faith in a higher destiny.

This is exactly what happens to many physically and socially fit people. The fostered image of one's own significance, a la the center of the universe, forms an unreasonable confidence in the correctness of such actions. Closing and concentrating all his attention on himself, unreasonably elevating his ego, a person gradually loses the ability to love and compassion - purely, lightly and sincerely. The heart becomes stale, sarcasm and cynicism appear, which are a cover for the most ordinary envy of those people who have a cozy family hearth and a loving family, true friends. But that same illusion does not make it possible to understand the real reaction of the soul to these phenomena, it distorts and distorts what it sees, giving a person the opportunity to engage in self-deception again. Lonely wandering through life are unhappy in their own way, but at the same time quite often successful people in modern life. But that's just - is it life, to isolate oneself from the outside world within the limits of one's "I"? Yes, each person is individual and unique, but the desires, basically, for thousands of years, remain the same: the need to be loved and loved, to be proud of your children and grandchildren in old age, to be desired and to have support in this difficult life in close friends.

Let's fight loneliness

Today it is more and more difficult for a person to understand himself, there are more and more factors that interfere and distort the perception of these basic human needs. That is why there are more and more singles in cities. In large populated centers it is easier to find a substitute substitute (for each person it is different) for real feelings, the absence of which causes a real breakdown. Most often, a single person is a person who, at a certain stage, due to circumstances, opposed himself to society. That is why such a phenomenon should be temporary, but not permanent. It could have arisen as a defense mechanism in childhood because of the ridicule of comrades or in adulthood from bullying by a husband, it happens like that. But it is very important to fight loneliness, not close yourself off from the outside world, let in at least a small part of it and find peace, which is so necessary for a rebellious soul.

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