How to understand complex. What is an inferiority complex

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But sometimes people themselves do not understand what is actually hidden under the familiar phrase “inferiority complex”.

In fact, psychologists have identified very specific signs that make it possible to understand whether this “inferiority complex” is present in a person or not. Only if they are present can we say that a person is notorious.

Voluntary isolation from society

People who feel inferior try to avoid companies, large crowds of people, are reluctant to take part in various discussions, meetings, and other public events. They avoid speaking in public, being the center of attention, because afraid of being ridiculous. It seems to them that others are much more worthy of attention and respect, so they would rather prefer loneliness.

Coarseness

A person suffering from an inferiority complex subconsciously wants to prove his own worth, value, and outwardly this can manifest itself in the desire to “cut the truth-womb” in the eyes of the interlocutor, frankly rude him and humiliate him.

Disclaimer of responsibility

Such people tend to blame everyone and everything for their failures and mistakes, but not themselves. If something did not work out, the people around, friends, parents, weather and heavenly bodies are to blame, but not the person who made the mistake. By doing so, it is easier for a person to perceive himself as generally "good" and his actions as "right."

Looking for excuses

If someone from the environment of a person suffering from an inferiority complex copes with a task or problem more successfully than he does, a notorious person looks for reasons not in the personal merits of the winner, but again in external factors: "lucky", "the way things happened."

Avoiding Competition

Such a person tries not to get into situations where his abilities and other qualities will be compared with the abilities of others, does not participate in competitions of any kind. He does not seek to prove that he can be the best in something, since he himself does not believe in the possibility of victory in the depths of his soul.

Finding flaws

One of the best ways to prove to yourself that he is no worse than others, such a person considers the search for flaws in others. Moreover, he considers it necessary to inform people about this, gives advice and instructs, thus rising in his own eyes.

Sensitivity to other people's opinions

Such people react extremely painfully to any statement addressed to them, and they are able to perceive even a compliment in a negative way: it seems to them that they are being bullied. Deep down, they believe that they are unworthy of praise and recognition, even if they really achieved success in something. A negative reaction from the environment causes a desire to defend desperately.

Fear of error

Notorious people prefer not to act - after all, without taking any steps it is impossible to make a mistake, and they are extremely afraid of this.

Realizing such a problem as the presence of an inferiority complex, it is better to seek help from a specialist psychologist. Solving it on your own is extremely difficult, because the inferiority complex often has such long-standing and hidden causes that it is simply impossible to find them without the help of special methods.

Ecology of life. People: Every woman should know this sign of a notorious man. Be careful! To check, you need the most ordinary aunt of indeterminate age, only she must be overweight and look bad.

Every woman should know this sign of a notorious man. Be careful!

To check, you need the most ordinary aunt of indeterminate age, only she must be overweight and look bad. Rather, the aunt should be the scarier the better. The aunt's face must be swollen from alcohol. If you manage to find an aunt with completely missing teeth, this is generally ideal.

Having spotted your aunt, follow her. Find out her usual route. When she leaves the house, where she goes to work, when she returns from work. You need to know the time when the aunt looks especially tired. After that, you can breathe a sigh of relief. Most of the work has already been done by you.


Now the matter is small. Arrange a meeting with a man in such a way that the chosen aunt is sure to fall into his field of vision. For example, walking home from work with heavy bags, while a man gently hugs your waist.

As soon as your man's gaze falls on the unfortunate, sigh sadly. Say something like: Oh, what a pity. This is the former first beauty of our school. From the age of 15 she played with guys, often changed men, liked to drink, smoke, so she got worn out ahead of time.

She was looked after by one modest shy boy, but she refused, went to bed with the rich. Now what does it look like? She got old, what can you take from her. She is fat and has bad teeth. Half fell out. Nobody wants to marry her now. This is how you will have to live your life. With cats.

It would be ideal if your accomplice at this time will release several cats around the corner. To prevent cats from running out earlier, you can first hide them in a bag. The appearance of cats will give the scene a special tragedy and doom. In addition, there will be sound effects worthy of all this drama. If you do not have the opportunity to hire an assistant, just record the nasty meow on a tape recorder.

You will immediately see how a satisfied smile spreads across the face of a notorious man.

A jumping dragonfly ... - a satisfied notorious man will stretch out, raising his index finger up. - Summer sang red, so go and dance ...

Notorious men, unlike normal ones, love it very much when former beauties (and ex-wives too) are punished. This is a very resourceful state. A moment of justice. A notorious man will sparkle with his eyes as if Osama bin Laden had just been destroyed in his presence. He is happy. Now he has a story that can be passed from mouth to mouth.

He does not need to know anything about the fact that they are recovering not from men, but from rolls. And the condition of the teeth depends on genetics, acid-base balance, diet, in the end, but also not on men. And that a bad hairstyle is not cured by marriage, but by a good hairdresser. It doesn't matter that this lady has nothing to do with your class. That she has been married for a long time. And maybe she was never beautiful at all. Don't tell him this. Don't break the buzz. Leave him to revel in sweet revenge ...

You ask, why the hell do you need such a nasty, notorious man? This is what I'm thinking about...

Therefore, I always avoid men who rejoice in someone else's bad appearance or unsettled personal life. Especially an ex-wife or classmate. This is a bad sign. Very bad.

Moreover, it can be seen even if you don’t arrange clowning with cats and aunts, but just take a better look at the man. How does he talk about women? Does he rejoice in their failures?

Do you agree that such behavior is a marker showing complexes? published

Of course, modesty is a good quality, but if it is in moderation, otherwise it becomes the main problem in life, if you suffer from excessive shyness, it's time to work on that.

Complexity- this is the psychological state of a person who shows excessive stiffness and. A person can be in a depressed state for a long time as a result of a feeling of physical or other deficiency, weakness or illness in front of adverse circumstances from the outside.

Very often, shy people unconsciously or consciously envy those individuals who in life are guided by the rule "impudence is the second happiness." Such people are more successful at work and in their personal lives, and in general, all of life is full of bright colors. And some have to be content with gray and dull everyday life. To defend their opinion for them is a problem on a global scale.

If you recognize yourself from the above, and your state of mind prevents you from living a full life, then it's time get rid of complexity. However, remember that you should not go to extremes, any manifestation of them can end sadly. In the end, you are an individual person, so you don’t need to radically change something in yourself. But to slightly change the quality that prevents you from making life better, anyone can do it.

Study yourself

As a rule, the cause of insecurities is a strong feeling of a person about what others think about him. Think for yourself - the ideal does not exist. We can all be nice to some and not to others. It's impossible to please everyone. Accept yourself with all the flaws and virtues, you are an individual! There are no more like you.

Assess your appearance objectively

Well-groomed appearance and well-thought-out image will give more self-confidence. Get a stylish hairdo. Pick up beautiful clothes, if you doubt your taste, then contact the professionals who will help you look great.

Develop

It never hurts to work on yourself. Expand your horizons, become an interesting and sociable person.

Learn to listen!

If you know how to listen, then you have the most valuable quality! Such interlocutors are valued in society, people are drawn to them, and you, in turn, can learn something new for yourself.

Clamps in the muscles

In modern psychology there is a concept, bodily psychotherapy. Let's figure out what it really is and how it will help get rid of complexes? The period of development of the human body is directly related to the formation of muscle tissue and structure. If negative and unpleasant moments occur in a person’s life that cause psychological damage, then memory remains in the body and leads to muscle clamps. They, in turn, lead to blocking of unwanted movements.

muscle clamp is a kind of area of ​​chronic tension. This tension forms a bodily block. As a rule, these are the consequences of unpleasant and negative life experiences.

To get rid of complexes, it is necessary to overcome such clamps. If you cannot get rid of them on your own, then you should seek the help of an experienced psychotherapist. This method of getting rid of complexity quite efficient and effective.

The right communication tactics

You should have a pre-prepared template tactic by which you will communicate with your interlocutor. This will prevent unforeseen and awkward moments, which in turn will save you from complexes. We are not talking about a complete pattern of behavior, but only about certain moments that, as a rule, are quite often repeated in communication with an outsider.

For example, quite often there is an awkward pause during communication and you just don’t know how to fill it, what to talk about, in this case you can prepare a neutral, intermediate topic for a conversation in advance, which will save you from an awkward pause. Or in a situation of morning communication with colleagues, for sure during your work you have learned the stereotyped behavior of your colleagues and it will not be difficult to predict topics for conversation. In this way, you will be able to control the process of communication, and of course save yourself from improvisation, which will help you a lot in the future.

We hope that thanks to our advice you will understand how to get rid of complexity.

Confidence in yourself and your abilities is always wonderful: with the help of it you can achieve a lot in life, because a confident person does not think about failures and is not afraid of them - he acts and achieves his own. And if something cannot be done on the first attempt, there will always be a second, third, and so on until the bitter end. However, if you can’t manage to become more confident in yourself, you should at least learn how to hide doubts about your own abilities and pretend to be a successful person. People tend to be distrustful and doubtful of those whom they immediately ranked as complex personalities, which means they will make a negative decision even before you ask them for something. Find out what habits you have that give you an insecure, insecure person, and try to get rid of them in order to stop making a negative impression on people.

Frequent repetition of "uncertain" words

A notorious and insecure person in every sentence uses the word “probably” and its various analogues that demonstrate doubt. There's a big difference in how "I can do it" and "I guess I can do it" sounds. People react better to the first option and are more willing to help, knowing that in front of them is a person who will definitely achieve everything. In the second case, others will rather decide that this person will give up everything at the first difficulty that arises and will never reach the end, so they will simply refuse so as not to invest in something that will never end in success.

Therefore, words like “probably, maybe, most likely” are taboo for a confident person, they betray insecurity. However, it depends on the context: if, for example, you are discussing facts that you are not sure about, then they will be appropriate here. But you can’t mention them in every sentence that comes out of your mouth, otherwise you will show your self-doubt.

Always busy hands

A notorious person is betrayed by his hands: they cannot always be in the same position. Such a person constantly experiences nervous tension due to anxiety about the next failure that may occur, and therefore does not look after his body. The hands of a notorious person will constantly fiddle with something: a pen, a piece of paper, a shirt collar, the hem of a dress, a lock of their own hair, and so on. A nervous person cannot sit still, he definitely needs to do something, he must be constantly on the move. And if this is impossible and it is necessary to sit still, then at least with his hands he will perform some actions.

However, not only hands pulling objects betray an unsuccessful and notorious person - he can also continuously tap his foot on the floor or bite his nails. All these habits clearly demonstrate nervousness and self-doubt.

Interest in someone else's life

Any average person is absolutely not interested in those people who come across to him in line at the store, on the street, on the bus, with whom he is waiting for the right traffic light, and so on. He has his own life, which needs to be dealt with, but there is simply no time to discuss strangers, and acquaintances too. But the notorious and unsuccessful people seem to have plenty of time, because instead of starting to work on themselves, they constantly compare themselves with others, climb with advice, try to impose their behavior, stereotypes and superstitions on someone. The habit of discussing everyone in a row and clinging to people simply because you don’t like what they eat, with whom they spend the night, what color of clothes they prefer, betrays you as an unhappy person, dissatisfied with his life and very insecure. It's one thing if the people you're discussing are your friends or family: it's very difficult to be on the sidelines when it comes to your closest ones. But if you show interest in a person who just rides with you on the same bus, this is already a diagnosis called "complexes." The people around you will quickly notice this habit in you and draw the necessary conclusions. Moreover, by what you will discuss, you can even determine your main complexes: if you are talking about someone else's salary, then you are unhappy with yours, discussing the appearance of others, you prove that you are unhappy with yours, and so on.

Excessive temper

An insecure person subconsciously considers himself worse and more unhappy than other people, therefore he constantly expects that others will notice this and start laughing. Therefore, any, even a kind and innocent joke thrown in the direction of a notorious person can cause a storm of emotions and mortal resentment in him. They see a threat to themselves even where there is none, and are quite capable of responding negatively even to sincere wishes for all the best. For them, resentment is not an emotion, but rather a bad habit. Unsuccessful and insecure people are sensitive to what others say to them, so it is very easy to calculate them - they periodically “flare up” from any carelessly thrown word, do not believe that no one wanted to offend them, and for a very long time do not forgive their “offenders”.

It will only benefit you if you start to respect yourself, start to believe in yourself and get rid of complexes. But for this, you must first admit that you yourself are preventing yourself from being realized and becoming a happy person. Take a closer look at yourself, do you have habits that betray the complexes hidden in you and the fear of failure? If so, it's not too late to start breathing deeply and really start working on your life. Stop comparing yourself to others, decide what will be comfortable for you, change jobs if you don't like it, and start living, regardless of the opinion of society. Be happy, tell your opinion in the comments and do not forget to click on the buttons so that this article is published in your social networks and

Almost every person is familiar with the feeling of self-doubt, the feeling of their own worthlessness and inferiority - these feelings sometimes arise in us in a difficult situation that we cannot cope with for a long time.

But the problem is solved, and for a certain number of people these unpleasant feelings disappear. At the same time, there are a considerable number of people who, due to the circumstances of their past, constantly feel inferior.

This irrational belief in the superiority of others interferes with life so much that thinking about how to get rid of an inferiority complex turns into a fixed idea. This is understandable - a notorious person:

  • Constantly dissatisfied with himself (considers himself less attractive, capable and worthy than others).
  • Prone to endless self-criticism.
  • He lowers himself and his dignity.

As a result, such people are not able to realize their inclinations; in assessing the situation, they rely on emotions. And to communicate with other people, they “put on a mask” that protects a person from realizing his own worthlessness.

A person is so focused on how to overcome an inferiority complex that in some cases there is a megalomania and a tendency to tyranny. People suffering from an inferiority complex constantly compare themselves to some kind of standards, experience envy and feel like losers, regardless of the amount of money and their social status.

What it is?

This concept is familiar to many, but not everyone knows what an inferiority complex is and why it occurs. For the first time, a well-known German psychoanalyst became interested in negative feelings (anxiety, shame, etc.) that arise when a person considers himself worse than others in a certain respect.

He suggested that this syndrome occurs in children if:

  • The child has some physical handicap.
  • There is increased parental care that does not allow the child to learn to solve their problems on their own.
  • Self-confidence also reduces the lack of parental attention.

For a child who experiences a sense of his own insufficiency in early childhood, it is important to feel that he is supported and approved, and not criticized for any reason.

Adler found out that an inferiority complex is a psychopathological syndrome, consisting in a persistent belief in one's own inferiority and contributing to the development of neurotic deviations.

The reasons for the development of this complex may be different:

  • Unfortunate childhood.
  • Negative suggestions from the environment (“you will not achieve anything in life”, etc.).
  • Constant criticism coming from significant people.
  • Bad luck in business.
  • Negative self-talk.

Since all people experience episodic self-doubt, a test will help determine the presence of an inferiority complex.

signs

Adler believed that inferiority is a natural feeling for a person at a certain stage of development. Dependence on parents, difficult relationships with peers and entry into each subsequent age stage cause all children to feel inferior.

But this feeling for many people is an incentive to improve themselves. Such people, realizing how to get rid of the feeling of their own inferiority and overcoming difficulties on the way to the goal, achieve outstanding results - just remember the famous orator Demosthenes.

Psychotherapists talk about the presence of an inferiority complex in a patient only in the case of seriously low self-esteem. Signs of an inferiority complex include:

  • Demonstrative behavior that helps to attract attention.
  • Lack of communication skills and poor social adaptation.
  • Fear of being wrong.
  • Speech defects.
  • Feeling of constant tension.

It is more difficult to suspect an inferiority complex in men - the symptoms listed above are well masked due to increased aggressiveness, attributes of success (sports cars, expensive suits, etc.) and the liberating influence of frequent drinking.

In addition, excessive arrogance may indicate a carefully hidden complex.
You can overcome the inferiority complex, the signs of which you have found in yourself, on your own, and only in severe cases you need the help of a specialist.

How to overcome your complexes?

Many people are aware of the presence of an inferiority complex, but they are so close to it that they have absolutely no idea how to overcome this misfortune.

In addition, as a result of the desire to change the situation, a vicious circle arises - a person strives for change, but at the same time is afraid to fail and again experience the feeling of his own worthlessness and helplessness.

Therefore, it is important to know how to get rid of the inferiority complex, and not try at random. First of all, it is important to determine what is the cause of the complex that has arisen.

To do this, you need to analyze your childhood and adolescence, and then remember two or three of the most traumatic situations and answer the following questions:

  • What were you thinking and feeling at the time of this incident?
  • What did you feel and think after the incident?
  • How long did you worry about this and how strong were those feelings?

Then you need to look at the situation from the perspective of an adult. Your complex was formed due to circumstances that you, as a child, could not influence due to lack of experience and specific knowledge. Think - were the adults right at the time of the incident, calling you stupid and mediocre because of triples in math?

In order to defeat your complexes, the formed negative beliefs need to be reassessed. To do this, make a table with two columns. In one column, write down your negative beliefs, and in the other column, next to each negative statement, write a new positive one.

Develop the habit of thinking positively about your personality - monitor your thoughts and replace negative judgments with, if not positive, then at least neutral judgments.

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Examine your weaknesses, which you need to learn to recognize, and focus on your strengths. If it is difficult for you to defeat an inferiority complex on your own, treatment and specialist help will help you part with this phenomenon once and for all.