About the problem of honor alone. Loneliness as a social problem

Life is an interesting, amazing and deep thing, but due to many circumstances this is not always obvious and not to everyone. Living truly, fully and meaningfully turns out to be very difficult, especially now, in our complex and contradictory era.

Many problems, difficulties and stressful situations constantly “fall on our heads.” We are always spinning like squirrels in a wheel, and as soon as we manage to get out of one, we immediately find ourselves in another, unable to break this one...

Problem
From 10 to 30% of the population of developed countries suffer from chronic loneliness, in which a person feels cut off from the rest of the world, psychologists say. There are actually two types of loneliness. Transient loneliness is short-lived and caused by a specific reason.

For example, you might feel lonely if the company you work for transfers you to another city and you have to move away from your friends and family. Eventually, you'll make new friends, and...

It is exactly what it feels - this feeling does not necessarily reflect the real situation - but this does not make the feeling of loneliness any easier, and attempts to convince the client of the obvious “falseness” of this feeling rarely lead to success.

People try to hide from this painful feeling in a cheerful, noisy “social” life, which sooner or later tires and gets boring. Others hope that creating a family and feeling love for their loved ones will save them from the emptiness and melancholy of loneliness. However, it turns out that...

Loneliness, its size and strength had no limit. Loneliness is not when you are alone in an empty house, but when among noisy people, in a cheerful company, you understand that these people are strangers to you. Loneliness is when you understand that not a single person will know everything that you would like to say, but you won’t say it, because you yourself don’t want to know it.

Loneliness is when you are talking to a person and you notice that he does not hear you, that he himself is trying to tell you something, but you do not hear him. Do not you...

Looking at modern society, you can see more and more lonely people. I wonder why there are so many men and women without couples? Perhaps we have forgotten how to communicate, get to know each other, or perhaps the problem lies much deeper than it seems at first glance.

How to build relationships, create a family, and maintain it? We were taught for so long and tediously in schools and other educational institutions, but we were never taught the most important thing. In this article, I want to talk about single women, because they are...

Everyone knows what the feeling of loneliness is and how it feels. Everyone has faced this experience at least once in their life. This feeling sounds different for everyone, but perhaps everyone will agree that it is very uncomfortable.

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a state. This is what a person experiences within himself.

What do we often confuse loneliness with?

Very often, being in such a state, experiencing our feeling of loneliness, it seems to us that this is happening because...

If two people meet and talk, then the purpose of this conversation is not to exchange information or evoke emotions, but to hide behind words the emptiness, the silence and loneliness in which a person exists / Wisten Auden

I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my voice, and no one can hear. / Titanic. Rose Dewitt Bukater

Let's consider how loneliness manifests itself from childhood and in a man's adult life.

In fact, if you look at it, a person throughout...

Oddly enough, the ability to be alone is a condition for the ability to love.
/ Erich From

Loneliness is an internally experienced state of a person - “I am alone”, and it is not always determined by external conditions. A person can feel lonely both alone and in the company of people. In companies, this feeling can arise when there is no unity, similarity, or support. And if in the first case a person tries to occupy himself as much as possible with activities or surround himself with people, then in the second...

The problem of loneliness, as we know, is extremely acute in modern society.

When discussing this problem, we will not immerse ourselves in scientific reasoning, thoroughly flavored with psychological terminology, and consider all aspects of the problem from twenty-five angles of view and points of contemplation, systematically interweaving quotes from eminent authors - classics of psychology. From specialized literature, the reader can learn that loneliness is associated with deprivation of social contacts, can stem from childhood, can be associated with a narcissistic vector in a person’s character, and so on. We will try to avoid special terminology and try to consider the topic of loneliness popularly, with a creative translation of the latter into human language and, of course, a bit of emotional sympathy for those who are not just interested in this problem, but live in it and suffer - if not constantly, then with sad regularity.

You can recognize people who, through an effort of will, have driven the feeling of loneliness somewhere deep down by characteristic phrases and expressions

Loneliness is a real and serious problem

Loneliness is a real problem. And the problem is real. Some may consider it far-fetched, but not those people who have personally experienced all the devastation that loneliness brings into their lives. Loneliness drives some people crazy, paralyzes the will to live, drives them to suicide, forces them to seek salvation in sects and God knows where else. For others, there is nothing unnatural about being alone. For some people, loneliness is an absolutely normal existence, without any discomfort. On the contrary, it is an additional opportunity for self-improvement, development, gaining knowledge, freedom of maneuver, freedom to make decisions, responsibility for one’s life, creativity, and finally.

Both categories of people are interesting. But, if the second one does not need help and words of participation, then those people for whom loneliness is a problem, as a rule, need them. Rather, not even words, but real help, and, in many cases, professional help.

Who doesn't know yet

In principle, one more category of people can be distinguished - those who are not aware that they are alone; more precisely, that loneliness is a problem for them. These are those who, for some reason, “decided” for themselves that they no longer need anyone, that the relationship still doesn’t work out, and now they are on their own. These people are strikingly different from “true” loners in that they have this problem in reality - they did not solve it, but simply shoved it into the basement of their subconscious and crushed it with a heavier cabinet. In principle, for the time being, such people can live relatively calmly and even happily (at first glance). But in their “basement” there is not something, but their personal “nuclear bomb”, which can explode at the most inopportune moment. Explode in the form of what? Well, for example, it can manifest itself in the form of stress, depression, awareness of one’s own insignificance after some provoking situation. At the same time, situations can be very diverse - from observing rejoicing colleagues to a yellow leaf torn from a bare branch on a fine autumn day.

Marker phrases

You can recognize people who, through an effort of will, have driven the feeling of loneliness somewhere deep down by their characteristic phrases and expressions.

For example:

• "I do not need anybody"
• “And I’m fine as is”
• “Since I stopped communicating... my life has gotten better”
• “It doesn’t matter, no one needs me, so why torture yourself”
• “I am absolutely self-sufficient”
• “People are rare idiots, I don’t need anything from them”
• “My character is too difficult and people avoid me”
• “No one can get along with me anyway”
• “I’m too smart and it’s hard for me to make friends”
• “I can’t stand all these gatherings”
• And so on and so forth.

Here I remember cadet Bigler from “The Adventures of the Good Soldier Schweik” by Jaroslav Hasek: “The cadet washed his red eyes with water and went out into the corridor, deciding to be strong, devilishly strong.”

Bodily manifestations

Naturally, among such people there may be those who really do not need communication or need it in absolutely minimal quantities. And the difference between some and others is that some live in peace with themselves, while others simply hide the truth, and, as we mentioned, not only from others, but, first of all, from themselves.

However, in many cases, people who “invent” loneliness for themselves are betrayed by an internal traitor - their own body and emotions, which, as we know, are extremely difficult to control. An attentive observer, even if he has not known such a person for a long time, can pay attention to the fact that when pronouncing the above-mentioned “code phrases”, sadness “gathers” in the corners of the person’s eyes, the smile may become pitiful; or, conversely, an outburst of anger may follow, seemingly unprovoked by anything. This could be drooping shoulders, a distant expression on the face, a heavy (or not so much) sigh, clenching hands, suddenly increased interest in certain parts of the body (for example, a person may fiddle with the tip of the nose, ear, etc.) and other bodily manifestations.

In general, in order for a psychologist to have a reason to work with such a “hidden under lock and key” problem, the person himself must recognize it and come.

It is clear that there are people who suffer from loneliness and are quite aware of it. And, sad as it is, there are many such people. Moreover, much more than it might seem. Some call loneliness a problem in big cities, some call it a problem of our time, others call it some other problem. Yes, there really are many sources of loneliness. Psychoanalysts would start looking for problems from childhood, Mr. K. Rogers (American psychologist, one of the creators and leaders of humanistic psychology) would talk about poor personality adaptability, someone else would talk about a lack of social communication, R. Assagioli (Italian psychologist, psychiatrist , humanist. Founder of psychosynthesis - a theoretical and methodological concept of psychotherapy and human self-development), would probably recommend personality reassembly. And so on. Everything that is stated on this topic in the professional psychological literature has been tested, worked out and has a place to be. It is also true that for the most part it is difficult for a person to solve the problem of loneliness on his own. A psychologist will be useful for this. But, fortunately, not always.

How does it manifest?

It would be appropriate to say a few more words about terminology. Obviously, it is necessary to distinguish between loneliness as a temporary lack of communication, that is, in general, loneliness is normal and not traumatic for a person, and loneliness as a psychological state that complicates life. In which, despite having a formal social circle, seemingly even friends and acquaintances, a person feels lonely.
For example, it might look like this:

• “I met with friends in the evening, had a good time, and then I returned home and I felt so lonely again!!”
• “There are a lot of people around, but there is no one to talk to or communicate with.”
• “I used to have a lot of friends, but now they have changed, they have become kind of nasty. I don't want to communicate with them. I feel very lonely." Here I remember Gogol’s “The Inspector General”: “I see some pig snouts instead of faces, but nothing else...”
• “No one in this world understands me. I feel terribly lonely. I even started talking to myself."
• “The men I like don’t pay attention to me and vice versa. And I can’t get over myself - live with someone I don’t like. And because of all this I feel very lonely."
• “My boyfriend left me. And friends, too, are always busy with their own affairs. Nobody needs me. I feel very lonely."

It is obvious that behind all these stories lies a temporary state of loneliness - when you just need to be alone, put your thoughts and feelings in order and open up to this life again. That is, loneliness in such a situation is a good reason to take a break from active communication and understand yourself a little. And, of course, there are cases of that same terrible loneliness that quickly and abundantly makes people rust even in dry, clear weather. And, formally, they may not have such loneliness - a person may be doing well from the point of view of an outside observer - work, social circle and some interests. But the problem is that loneliness is not formal. And it is not measured by the number of friends, acquaintances, work, social activities - no, it sits inside a person. In other words, if all of the above is present, a person may be lonely - because he feels so. Thus, loneliness is a personal state of a person. It can be temporary, or it can be permanent and acquired from childhood, as the psychoanalytic school correctly notes.

The reasons for loneliness

What can be “written down” as the reasons for loneliness? The list turns out to be quite diverse.

• One of the reasons for loneliness is a person’s low self-esteem. That is, for one reason or another, a person may believe that he is not interesting to other people. For example, that he is pathetic, insignificant, weak, boring... the list of epithets with which a person can “reward” himself can be continued for a very long time. An additional negative effect is that in such a situation a person receives confirmation of his worthlessness - after all, no one communicates with him (although, in general, he does not allow himself to do this). And this, in turn, reduces this self-esteem even more. To put it in current popular terms, it reduces it to a state of nano-self-esteem.
• On the contrary, a person may be too arrogant. “Who is there to talk to”, “There are only idiots around”, “They are no match for me.” This usually occurs within the framework of a narcissistic vector in a person’s character. Although, you need to understand that this may actually just hide the same low self-esteem. And flaunting such phrases will be nothing more than an attempt to hide your fear of others. “Preoccupied with how they are perceived by others, narcissistically organized people experience a deep sense of being deceived and unloved. They can be expected to be helped to develop self-acceptance and deepen their relationships by extending dynamic psychology to areas that Freud had only just begun to touch upon. Our understanding of narcissism has been enhanced by attention to the concepts of basic security and identity (Sullivan, 1953; Erickson, 1950, 1968), the concept of the self as an alternative to the more functionalist concept of the ego (Winnicott, 1960b; Jacobson, 1964); concepts of self-esteem regulation (A. Reich, 1960); concepts of attachment and separation (Spitz, 1965; Bowlby, 1969, 1973); concepts of developmental delay and deficits (Kohut, 1971; Stolorow & Lachmann, 1978) and concepts of shame (Lynd, 1958; Lewis, 1971; Morrison, 1989).” - source N. McWilliams, “Psychoanalytic Diagnostics”
• People who are prone to dependence on other people and who, accordingly, are afraid to “dissolve” in stronger fellow tribesmen or partners may avoid close contacts, dooming themselves to loneliness. For example, it is likely that many people, when trying to build close (usually family) relationships, have met such potential partners. At first, the relationship begins to develop well - dynamically, brightly, beautifully, love, dreams, hopes, joint plans... But suddenly, as we move towards its logical conclusion - marriage, or living together, the partner suddenly begins to somehow quickly “deflate”, grow cold right at the eyes. And, in the end, the relationship breaks down, sometimes without even getting to sex. At the same time, the “fearful” person receives another confirmation that he will be more comfortable being alone. In particular, this may be present with a schizoid component in a person’s character (not to be confused with schizophrenia). “The primary conflict in relationships among schizoid people concerns intimacy and distance, love and fear. Their subjective life is permeated by deep ambivalence (duality) about attachment. They crave intimacy even though they feel the constant threat of being swallowed up by others. They seek distance to maintain their security and independence, but at the same time suffer from distance and loneliness (Karon & VanderBos, 1981). Guntrip (1952) described the “classic dilemma” of schizoid individuals as follows: “They cannot be in or out of a relationship with another person without somehow running the risk of losing both self and object.” This statement refers to the dilemma as an “inner versus outer agenda.” Robbins (1988) sums up this dynamic in this message: “Come closer - I'm lonely, but stay away - I'm afraid of penetration.” Sexually, some schizoid people appear surprisingly indifferent, often despite the ability to function and have an orgasm. The closer the Other, the stronger the fear that sex means a trap.” - source N. McWilliams, “Psychoanalytic Diagnostics”
• Where might this come from? For example, from childhood - with an overprotective, downright “suffocating” mother.
• Another reason could be simply a lack of communication skills. A person, for one reason or another, simply does not know how to correctly ( correct - this means speaking and acting in the way that is accepted in the society in which you are and even going beyond the boundaries - in the way accepted in society) communicate. There can be many reasons - maybe these skills were not instilled in childhood, when the child was raised in a specific family, maybe the person moved to another country. Why is there a country - in big cities people are discriminated against even based on their village accent - naturally, they have to make more efforts to fit into the society that they have chosen for themselves. However, the opposite is also true. This also includes the problems of communication between different social strata - it is clear that a loader who, by chance, ends up in a professorial family with the appropriate social circle must have truly outstanding abilities in order to be accepted there, if not as one of their own, then at least simply accepted. Obviously, this does not always happen.
• The cause of loneliness may be psychological trauma. For example, a raped woman may develop a strong perception of herself (which is further facilitated by the ambivalent attitude towards victims of violence in our society - such as she is to blame, provoked, and so on) as defiled, dirty, unworthy. Naturally, such self-presentation does not contribute not only to the search for a partner, but also to any communication at all. Or maybe it will be the trauma of betrayal. Moreover, in this case, it doesn’t matter what kind - betrayal of a loved one or parents in childhood can lead to the same consequences. After all, you must always remember that even if from the outside it is perceived as harmless, it can have a crushing effect on a specific person, which he will not be able to cope with on his own.
• In addition, there is an assumption that as a person’s consciousness grows, the level of loneliness, so to speak, increases. By the level of consciousness, to put it simply, we usually understand the level of awareness of oneself in this world and of this world itself as a whole. For example, about what I do on this earth, or, more mundanely, things are not always what they seem. For example, sharing a bottle does not guarantee that your drinking buddy is a good man and a person with a certain level of consciousness “catches up” with this. More detailed information on the levels of consciousness can be found in search engines for “logical levels of consciousness.” So, the higher this level, the more a person perceives himself as lonely. Well, since the level of consciousness largely correlates with intelligence, it would be quite appropriate to include Schopenhauer here with the quote: “Loneliness is the lot of all outstanding minds.” However, the growth of “comfortable” loneliness as the level of consciousness increases is rather hypothetical.
• And, of course, there are completely physiological reasons for loneliness. For example, a person has pronounced autistic traits since childhood, which obviously do not encourage communication. But, in this case, this is not entirely loneliness, since such people feel quite good in their world.

From what we have considered, it becomes clear that in some cases loneliness goes away with the beginning of communication (then, in essence, it is not loneliness), the feeling of loneliness can increase over time or, conversely, weaken; people can try to “suppress” their loneliness by constantly busying themselves with something - work, hobbies, some kind of communication; Not every type of loneliness can be dealt with by a person on their own. Melancholy, despair, depression - these are just some of his companions.

About choice and responsibility.

It is often believed that a situation of loneliness can be used productively for self-development. Or, in other words, to raise the level of consciousness. In principle, this is possible. But it would be a big mistake to think that everyone can do this. First, as we have seen, the types and stages of loneliness are very different. In some states, a person is simply not able to break out of his narrowed world, clamped in the grip of loneliness. Secondly, not all people find pleasure in self-development, and besides, they are simply not able to develop.

And in general, in development there is a danger for many people (or rather, for their existing world) - development makes it possible to rethink oneself, life, others, loved ones, their behavior, attitude towards many things. This means that a person is changing. And changes in a person also imply other changes - a change in interests, friends, partners. And this requires responsibility and will. Obviously, we are talking about personal responsibility - taking on all the decisions and choices that a person makes. And in our age, responsibility is notoriously bad. To make a choice, and such that it corresponds to the desires of the person himself, and would not be an attempt to please everyone - not everyone is capable of this. And the point here is not only in weak will, but in the unconscious component of our personality, which is extremely resourceful and capable of protecting a person from what “seems” dangerous to it. Thus, most people in such a situation will prefer proven and “painless” solutions - to remain in the already existing reality (additional benefits can also “ripen”, for example, in the form of pity from loved ones), and instead of making sometimes difficult choices and decisions fill your vacuum with meaningless or relatively meaningless actions like workaholism. Moreover, the inability to take responsibility leads to places where decisions are easily and naturally made for them - for example, sects that accept people with open arms and with extraordinary ease give them a simple and understandable meaning of existence in a society of their own kind. It is obvious that the issue of responsibility and choice arises not only when trying to develop and, first of all, develop the level of consciousness that was used as an example.

I am a practicing psychologist, I edit this blog and write a lot for it myself. It’s difficult to name my area of ​​interest in psychology - after all, everything connected with people is incredibly interesting! Now I pay considerable attention to the topics of narcissism, psychological abuse, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one’s life, increasing self-esteem, and existential problems. The cost of consultation is 3000 rubles/hour. t. +7 926 211-18-64, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype (barbaris71).

Contact with me

A distinctive feature of modern man from the rest of the animal world is the problem of loneliness and the absence of loved ones.

Loneliness is the state of a lonely person. There is a feeling that there is no close friend to whom you can trust your thoughts and who will understand you. “Loneliness is not caused by the absence of people around, but by the inability to talk with people about what seems important to you, or the unacceptability of your views to others,” wrote the German philosopher and psychologist. As a rule, the state of loneliness brings suffering.
Before moving directly to the topic of conversation, it is necessary to make a small digression.

Man is a social being. Only by leading a social lifestyle was he able to survive in the wild. Only through common efforts did he achieve his exceptional position in the animal world. Only through the accumulation and transfer from generation to generation of their knowledge and experience can modern people benefit from the achievements of all mankind. It is no coincidence that I mentioned these seemingly banal things, since they are sometimes kept silent or completely ignored when analyzing such a problem as loneliness.

Man is a biosocial being. Innate forms of behavior, for example, the instinct to procreate and a group way of life, formed as a result of natural selection, are organically woven into the modern cultural and social way.

Loneliness of the soul. Alone among people.

Living in society, it is impossible to be alone in literally this word. We are always among people. We are surrounded by people who live with us at the same time, a common culture and society. The level of development, mentality and interests correspond to a certain social class and age.
The problem of loneliness is, first of all, the problem of the absence of a couple, and not just a couple, but the absence of a loved one. The very fact of having a loved one will fill your life with meaning for some time. Then everything will depend on how the relationship develops, but the problem of loneliness will be closed. A separate article will be devoted to the topic of searching and choosing a partner.

As for communication with others, here we can note two points that can hinder the formation of new relationships and which are associated with character traits, or more precisely, with the attitude towards oneself (I am bad) and towards other people (They are bad).

Position: I am bad. It often arises as a result of ignorance of the accepted rituals of behavior existing in a certain social environment and the inability to maintain a conversation. As a result, self-esteem falls and a feeling of inferiority appears.

Position: They are bad. Sometimes, finding yourself in an unfavorable or insufficiently friendly environment, in comparison with what was before, a person may find himself alone against society. The instinct of self-preservation is triggered, a negative attitude towards the environment and wariness towards any active contacts with the outside world appear. The desire to do anything yourself disappears. Subsequently, the environment or situation may change, but the attitude remains.

The problem of loneliness. Alone among himself.

The way of life that is inherent in us by nature and society presupposes communication and interaction, it does not provide for solitary existence. , leading a group lifestyle, and a person includes the need for belonging. Loneliness can only be of an objective temporary nature or be chosen at one’s own request (solitude).

Some people attach primary importance to the feeling of confidence and security that the group provides, while others prefer a more secluded lifestyle, content with only a narrow circle of friends. With solitude, thoughts of loneliness do not bother you, but this is a completely different topic for a completely different conversation.
Friedrich Nietzsche ironically remarked on this matter: “There are two types of loneliness. For one, loneliness is an escape from the sick; for another, it is an escape from the sick.”

Only physical and spiritual activity can lift a person out of loneliness. We must go into society, among people, accept the rules of the game by which they live, and participate in joint activities. Only communication in a group united by a common interest (study, work or hobby), in which a person feels his, can change position.

The problem of loneliness from the plane general concepts and reasoning must be translated into concrete actions. Then it will become clear which is stronger: either the desire to find a way out of the current problem, or the unwillingness to make the necessary efforts to find this way out.

Text from the Unified State Examination

(1) Apparently, fear of loneliness determines people’s behavior much more often than it seems. (2) For example, many people find it awkward to walk alone or go to a cafe, they find it unbearable to return to an empty apartment in the evening, and it is unclear how to spend a weekend or vacation without company. (3) A hasty marriage, casual friends, meaningless communication are designed to drown out the unpleasant experience and give confidence. (4) The situation is especially difficult for people who feel lonely when they are among friends or family members. (5) Of course, independent, self-sufficient individuals easily experience loneliness, and if at some point they lack communication, then seeing an old friend is enough. (6) A person who hoped to overcome loneliness by getting married will be greatly disappointed if he is convinced that this did not happen. (7) Loneliness is painfully experienced by people who could not imagine themselves without living together with someone, and then unexpectedly, due to divorce or the death of a loved one, they found themselves alone. (8) For those who are acutely experiencing their loneliness, there are many programs of psychological and psychotherapeutic assistance. (9) These are meeting groups, as well as trainings that teach dating skills, establishing mutual understanding and sincere, open relationships. (10) Running away from loneliness is wrong and useless, scientists say. (11) American psychologist J. Audie came to the conclusion that this feeling is creative and constructive in nature: (12) “Healthy development of the psyche requires alternating periods of intensive receipt of sensations and information with periods of immersion in solitude in order to process them.” (13) According to the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “sevenfold experience of loneliness” is necessary for human development. (14) Only alone with yourself can you hear your soul, find and understand the only one who will never leave you - yourself. (15) And a person with a filled and whole soul is always attractive to others, so he will definitely find someone with whom to share love and friendship!

(According to M. Shirokova)

Introduction

Problem

The problem of loneliness worries psychologists, poets and writers, artists and scientists. People are trying to understand the causes of loneliness, to find out the positive aspects of the contradictory feelings associated with the state of loneliness. M. Shirokova tried to express her point of view on this topic.

A comment

She reflects on the problem of loneliness, considering it a motive for any human actions. Sometimes people are even afraid to have lunch or take a walk alone with themselves. In order to somehow smooth out the unpleasant feelings for themselves, many get married without love and try to be in touch with friends every second through smartphones and communication applications.

The consequence of hasty actions is disappointment - in yourself, in your family, in your friends. After all, without real feelings and mutual understanding, it will not be possible to share your interests and needs. In other words, this is not how you overcome loneliness.

There are strong personalities in the world for whom being alone with their thoughts means finding answers to many questions related to understanding the world and the people around them. Psychologists are sure that a person needs a feeling of loneliness for harmonious development and proper building of relationships with reality.

Receiving impressions and information should alternate with moments of understanding them - moments of sacred communication with oneself. According to F. Nietzsche, a German philosopher, a person must experience “seven times the experience of loneliness” in his life in order to develop correctly.

Author's position

Your position

Having thought about the proposed text, I would like to agree with its author. We can't escape loneliness. The feeling of loneliness can push us to take more active action in the field of establishing relationships with people - caring for the elderly, finding our other half, having children.

Inner experiences encourage creative people to create magnificent works of art: literary essays, heart-tugging musical sketches or painting masterpieces.

Argument No. 1

Thinking about loneliness, one cannot help but recall the words from a poem familiar from childhood by M.Yu. Lermontov’s “Sail”: “A lonely sail turns white in the blue fog of the sea. What is he looking for in a distant land? What did he throw in his native land? Throughout his short life, the poet reflected on the feeling of abandonment, uselessness and restlessness. The theme of loneliness became one of the main ones in his work.

It seems to me that the reasons for Lermontov’s inexplicable melancholy, his understanding of himself as an exile, a proud and lonely Demon, lie in the rebellious poet’s childhood, because he was left an orphan while his father was alive. He suffered a lot, and the result of this suffering was his immortal poems.

Argument No. 2

Another striking literary example of the influence of loneliness on a person’s life is the story of F.M. Dostoevsky "White Nights". Main character so lonely that, while walking, he talks to the trees and buildings he encounters. When life gives him a chance for love, he loses it because he does not know how to live in reality. Most likely, he is not able to build simple human communication, the result of which can be strong family ties.

Conclusion

Loneliness is scary, but it is also creative. Self-sufficient people easily cope with this feeling, drawing benefit from it - self-knowledge and the creation of the greatest and most powerful works.

Is loneliness in modern life a natural reaction to the development of society?

Maria Barnikova

Loneliness is a modern “disease” of our society, which psychotherapists are still trying unsuccessfully to overcome. Moreover, it is global in nature in developed and urbanized countries. That is, with the development of humanity, various phobias and sociological problems also evolve. In times distant from us, a person who tried to survive alone was doomed in advance to suffering and a difficult existence, […]

Loneliness is a modern “disease” of our society, which psychotherapists are still trying unsuccessfully to overcome. Moreover, it is global in nature in developed and urbanized countries. That is, with the development of humanity, various phobias and sociological problems also evolve. In times distant from us, a person who tried to survive alone was doomed in advance to suffering and a difficult existence, which is why they were considered martyrs, saints or hermits. Only together could a community of people develop productively, repel the enemy and conduct successful economic activities. In other words, a hundred years ago a person did not have the physical ability to remain alone and at the same time be self-sufficient and successful.

Loneliness Tendency

World Wide Web Internet, improvement of the international transport system and the globalization of world processes, gradually neutralized the need for close ties between people for the development of society. For example, today in many areas of activity (especially in the field of culture, high technology, scientific research - quite highly paid areas) the role of mass collective efforts to achieve success is no different from the isolated actions of individuals united by the World Wide Web, under the control of a small number of talented managers. In addition, the development of the media and the computer industry is attracting more and more attention. Significant amounts of money are invested in these projects, the goal of which is to hold the viewer’s attention for as long as possible.

And these are just a few of the main reasons stimulating the development of the trend towards a solitary lifestyle. A person has received a real opportunity to be successful without close contact with society, this is exactly what main reason such a phenomenon as loneliness. But the need for communication and contact has not disappeared; it has simply atrophied, become distorted, and taken on false forms. Such pseudo-freedom, in fact, makes it impossible to lead a natural lifestyle. The worst scenario for the development of such a situation is the attempts of those with a lonely lifestyle to impose their opinion on others, in a way to find confirmation of the correctness of their actions among other people.

This does not apply to those people who, for certain reasons, have become lonely or cannot establish communication: disabled people, elderly people or those who suffer from mental disorders. We are talking about those who voluntarily withdraw into themselves and sincerely believe that loneliness is a normal way of life, a natural reaction to the development of modern society. At the same time, many go further and reject family ties and values. The most mysterious factor in this situation is that the phenomenon of social loneliness in modern conditions affects young and middle-aged people who still have psychological and parental support from people of a more mature generation - their parents, who grew up in conditions of close social ties. It is difficult to predict what will happen in the future when a whole generation of single people grows up, raised by single people.

Hide from everyone

For many, loneliness is a kind of screen that allows them to hide their complexes or other shortcomings that will become more and more progressive over the years. Without trying to join society, opposing himself to it, a person unconsciously (in rare cases this happens in full understanding of what is happening) is afraid to be himself and withdraws to himself. Such a “protective cocoon” gives the illusion that what is happening is correct and gives strength to maintain the effect of independence and success. Separated from the whole world by such a screen, it is convenient and pleasant to nurture in your own consciousness your pricelessness and uniqueness, to form high self-esteem and faith in a higher purpose.

This is exactly what happens to many physically and socially functional people. A nurtured image of one’s own importance, a la the center of the Universe, creates an unfounded confidence in the correctness of such actions. By withdrawing and concentrating all his attention on himself, unreasonably elevating his ego, a person gradually loses the ability to love and compassion - purely, lightly and sincerely. The heart hardens, sarcasm and cynicism appear, which are a cover for the most common envy of those people who have a cozy family hearth, a loving family, and true friends. But that same illusion does not make it possible to understand the real reaction of the soul to these phenomena; it bends and distorts what is seen, giving a person the opportunity to again engage in self-deception. Those who wander alone through life are unhappy in their own way, but at the same time quite often successful people in modern life. But just - is this life, to isolate yourself from the outside world within the confines of your “I”? Yes, each person is individual and unique, but the desires at their core, for thousands of years, remain the same: the need to be loved and loved, to be proud of your children and grandchildren in old age, to be desired and to have support in this difficult life in close friends.

Let's declare a fight against loneliness

Today it is becoming increasingly difficult for a person to understand himself; more and more factors arise that interfere with and distort the perception of these basic human needs. This is why more and more single people are appearing in cities. In large populated centers it is easier to find a surrogate substitute (it is different for each person) for real feelings, the absence of which causes real withdrawal. Most often, a single person is an individual who, at a certain stage, due to circumstances, opposed himself to society. That is why such a phenomenon should be temporary, but not permanent. It could have arisen as a defense mechanism in childhood due to the ridicule of comrades or in adulthood from the bullying of a husband, and this also happens. But it is very important to fight loneliness, not to close yourself off from the outside world, to let in at least a small part of it and find the peace that a rebellious soul so needs.

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