Annette Simmons is a professional storyteller who teaches this art to people in business, the head of the consulting company Group Process Consulting, a communications consultant, and the author of several books.

Complexity of presentation

The target audience

Those who wish to behave with dignity in public find interesting stories and practice storytelling, as well as those who want to learn how to convince colleagues, partners and clients.

The book describes six types of stories, suitable for different circumstances and audiences. The author talks about the power of gaining the trust of listeners through the depth of stories, explaining why storytelling can be a more powerful and effective tool compared to facts or figures. She also describes the types of “problem” listeners who are least amenable to influence.

Let's read together

People do not need new information, but confidence in themselves, personal goals and success. Getting people to do something does not mean having influence over them. Real influence begins where people begin to believe in us and our stories, which they are happy to make personal. Then further influence will not require much effort, as listeners will begin to retell our story to others.

Great storytelling empowers people to interpret the facts in a way that shows the big picture. What they don't believe or understand begins to matter because of the experiences of others put into the story. Writing good narratives is an art that helps persuade others and give meaning to their lives. Such a story makes the world simpler and more understandable for us, offers a plot that we will follow and build our thoughts on. We can learn to understand the essence of personal experiences and problems, be it breaking up with a loved one or losing a job. Such semantic narratives have a greater effect than just advice, although they act as an indirect way of conveying a point of view.

Sometimes words are not enough to tell a compelling story, so you can use your body. After all, we want not just to tell a dry story, but also to play with our face, voice, and gestures, which makes our story a story of a new level. For complete immersion, what we talk about is no less important; emotional memories have a fairly powerful effect on the listener. You can also connect irrelevant but very specific details.

The story should reflect the long-term goal we are moving towards, it is important to talk about inspiring moments. A story always carries a certain value; its purpose is transferred to real actions. A very effective way is to convey the narrative in such a way that we are reading the minds of our listeners, then they will feel more at ease.

Stories have incredible power to relax audiences:

1. They help eliminate any suspicion when we take the listener's side and align our mutual interests. Then it's easier for people to trust us.
2. Stories are an excellent tool for bringing the audience closer, as if we have known our listeners for many years.
3. We can use knowledge of how people relax and listen to us almost as if under hypnosis. A good story stays in the head for a long time, and listeners will no longer be sure whether it really happened or whether they heard it somewhere. History can influence human actions as if all this happened to people in reality.

Without thinking that audiences don't care about stories, we can influence them by understanding the reasons why listeners have opinions that differ from ours. We should always be friendly and positive so that only positive emotions are reflected in the story. Then people will hope and believe. But if listeners are negative, you need to tell them about some points focused on this problem. People are capable of producing six reactions of resistance to any narrative: cynicism, resentment, envy, hopelessness, apathy, greed. To dislodge these defensive reactions, you need to tell people stories that are worthy of their trust.

People can be inspired by listening to their stories and engaging in genuine dialogue with them. Then it will be possible to understand not only their arguments, but also the real feelings they reveal to us. Sometimes the best way to influence another person is to simply listen to what they have to say. The person will be just as polite towards us, having already tuned in to our personal history.

There are a few slippery moments that can ruin any story. To avoid this, you need to remember three “don’ts”:

1. You should not demonstrate superiority to people, so as not to look like a guru who does not respect anyone. Then there is a chance to reach a wider audience who can think for themselves. It’s easier to show your listeners your personal sympathy for them and become closer to them through experience or common interests.

2. You can’t make people bored by telling very long stories that lead nowhere. Any of us always has a story to tell, we just need to connect what is interesting to people with what is interesting about us and our history. Here it is important to adhere to specific details, to shut up in time, and also to be able to puzzle the listeners.

3. Initially, you need to direct the content to the audience, share bright moments, but not instill in people a feeling of fear or guilt. Any negative emotions can turn listeners against us, having a bad effect on specific changes. Even a powerful story ceases to be effective as soon as we go too far with negative emotions. Therefore, only a positive charge allows people to change their minds in the long term.

By telling something, we not only change our outlook on life, but we are also responsible for the development of the plot. If our story is filled with worries and stress, we need to rewrite the plot and make it more positive. If the story is good and enjoyable to live in, we begin to see problems differently. The same applies to relationships with people, because our stories affect their lives. Don't underestimate our power and responsibility as storytellers.

We must learn to think not only critically, but also in terms of the stories themselves—the author calls this “storyteller thinking,” where we describe situations or problems as stories. In any problem, first of all, you need to get rid of uncertainty, humor and emotions. On the other hand, you can forget about the rules and include emotions that are important when telling a story, then it will become even better. Rules are not as useful as individual cases.

We perceive the world through the lens of subjectivity, and that is why listeners trust us because we speak freely and sincerely. Storytelling thinking helps increase creative intelligence and develop imagination.

Best Quote

“The habit of being results-oriented helps you master the market, reduce costs and increase profits. But this habit will never make you a great storyteller.”

What the book teaches

Storytelling helps to reach any audience in order to inspire them to take specific actions. Stories can change the lives of others by 180 degrees.

Only emotions can make people laugh, cry, and dream. No amount of objective thinking can do this.

A story can become compelling and moving when we learn to let go of critical thinking and begin to tell it from a subjective point of view, demonstrating vivid perception.

From the editor

Even if you don't plan to become a great writer, nothing can stop you from writing down your stories. This activity not only helps you relieve stress, sort out your emotions and sort out the thoughts in your head, but also master the “storyteller mindset.” What is bibliotherapy and how to use it, says a psychologist Anna Kutyavina: .

It is sometimes difficult for a shy person to say even a couple of phrases in public, much less decide to tell a long story. Psychologist Yaroslav Voznyuk knows how to turn shyness into confidence, and offers seven ways to overcome shyness: .

What can you do to avoid problems with thinking and speech as you age? Expert in the field of effective teaching technologies, teacher Nina Shevchuk explains that our cognitive base requires training and strengthening, and suggests several useful exercises: .

Finally, the Russian reader will see a full-fledged book about Storytelling...
If the publisher hasn't changed their mind, this book should have my comment... THE FIRST BOOK IN RUSSIAN WITH THE WORD STORYTELLING...
And
And of course my review...

The Art of Storytelling. Inspire and influence...

“History is not capable of usurping power and influence, but it is capable of creating them...”
Annetta Simone “Storytelling. How to harness the power of stories"

The publishing house Mann, Ivanov and Farber invited me to write a review about
Naturally, I rejoiced in my heart about a book dedicated to storytelling:
Russian-speaking audiences are not spoiled with books about this modern, popular
in the civilized world of technology, science, philosophy. When did I find out the name and
author, I rejoiced, - I used materials from Annette Simmone’s book when writing
one of the chapters of “Blueberry Pie for a Storyteller.” Introduction to power" (unfortunately
the only book about Storytelling by a Russian author). Just the thought that
Before gaining the trust of any audience, the storyteller must answer himself
the question “Who am I?” is worth this book would be highly recommended
reading for those who are promoting something or attracting resources to
various projects, as well as those who want to influence their environment...

After I read the manuscript, I experienced an interesting and at the same time strange feeling.
It’s as if I had gotten my hands on a map with navigation to the place where the treasures were hidden, but I would have gotten it after I had walked the whole path on my own and was sitting over an open chest in which diamonds and gold jewelry shimmered...

This book truly is such a map. Its beauty is that you can go to the place to which it leads an infinite number of times and always find new treasures there... As a person who has traveled this path and reached the treasure, I assure you that there is enough of them for everyone...
Because this place is you yourself...

Back at the end of the twentieth century, the Danish futurist Rolf Jensen wrote in his book “Dream Society” (in which I first read this sacred word “Storytelling”): “The sun is setting on the information society...” Information, due to its abundance and easy accessibility, ceases to be a product in demand in the market.

Instead, the main products of the modern civilized market are “attention,” “trust,” “faith,” and “influence.” And this is exactly what the “Storyteller” practices, following his Path...
1. Pay attention
2. Gain trust
3. Awaken faith
4. Lead by inspiring

Another great man, Robert McKee, already at the beginning of this century dedicated an entire book to History, which he called “Story” (it was translated into Russian, however, as “History for a Million,” which indicates that the Russian-speaking audience does not yet see this million in “History” itself). And what’s noteworthy is that the subtitle of this book was “a master class for screenwriters, novelists AND MORE...”

So these “NOT ONLY” are absolutely everything...

Because no matter what a person, a group of people or a company does, no one can avoid participating in two processes - Promoting one’s Name (idea, project) and attracting resources to it (material, financial, administrative, intellectual, human). Both of these processes require self-confidence and are based on gaining the trust of “counterparties”, “clients” and “donors”.
Where is our confidence and how to gain the trust of those around us?
Book “Storytelling. How to use the power of stories" will lead you to this place and teach you how to extract treasures from it every time the need arises...

There are two main topics in this book: “How to gain trust?” and “How to influence the environment?”
And from the first pages the author warns us: “The magic of influence is not in what we say, but in how we say it, and also in what we are - that is, influence depends on who we are . This dependence does not lend itself to rational analysis and cannot be described using conventional diagrams and tables. Influence comes from attitude towards you and your goals. In the sphere of feelings and emotions (and they are, by definition, irrational) there are no “organized” matters in the traditional sense. The desire to “organize” and streamline communication and influence leads only to stage-by-stage “universal” models - beautiful, but completely useless. These models are difficult to adapt to real life, they are difficult to remember in stressful situations, but such situations await us at every turn...”

Not without an ironic mention of the many gurus that have now appeared, teaching “communication”, “personal growth”, “leadership” and other popular disciplines...
“Communication courses really bake graduates. These graduates believe that they are “ready to communicate in a new way,” but three months later it turns out that they have not changed one iota of their previous behavior. This happens because they were taught new techniques, but did not get rid of the old beliefs that underlie the inability to communicate (for example, “if I said something, I will never go back on my words,” “withholding information is this is a great strategy”, “telling the truth means putting an end to your career”). Traditional methods of influence work on such a superficial level that they not only have no effect, but also instill a false sense of success..."

Annetta Simone suggests moving from rationality and linearity to irrationality and systematicity. From facts and notes to Stories (with a capital S). Remember that any social, business and everyday processes come down to communication between PEOPLE, and not legal entities, social statuses and positions...

To perceive the world around us and the people who inhabit it with their stories as voluminous (which, strictly speaking, they are) and not packed into flat diagrams, business plans, strategies and formulas...
“You can divide a story into fragments that have lost all meaning, provide it with supporting points, highlight stages and steps: first, second, third, all this will look very nice, but it will never make you a good storyteller...”

Nevertheless, Storytelling has a very specific set of rules, following which you can develop your intuition, emotional intelligence, and with their help, learn to win the trust of your audience and influence it...

But what shocked me most in this book was that in it for the first time (in educational and business literature) I read words about the responsibility of people who receive the strongest instrument of influence on their environment...

“A storyteller is the life force that shapes the culture of an organization, a community, a family. We as humans are defined by the stories we tell. The norms and customs of any culture are conveyed through stories told and retold. This is a great responsibility. What do you tell more often: stories of hope or stories of sacrifice?..”

And another very important point...

It is History that is the “object” around which any community can unite. After all, a beautiful and correct History is a Myth, Ritual and Sacrifice...
“Telling and listening to stories is a ritual that binds and unites people, breaking the illusion of separateness, it revives a deep sense of our collective interdependence. I never cease to be amazed at the impact that stories like “Who am I” and “Why am I here” have on people ... "

Storytelling helps unite the energy of the past, present and future...

Kirill P. Gopius
Storyteller, researcher, organizer of the first international storytelling
festival in Russia.

Why didn't I like this book?

I was looking through my work notebooks and came across my notes on the book by Annette Simmons " Storytelling. How to harness the power of stories"(MYTH, 2013; the book is on the publisher’s website and on Ozone). I remembered that then (in 2014, when I purchased the book) I only briefly familiarized myself with the book using “scanning reading”. I looked through it “diagonally”, snatched it some key ideas, but decided not to read the book itself. Why?

For a very simple reason: the book seemed too “missionary” to me. A lot of emotions, a lot of enthusiastic phrases about the “power of stories,” a lot of irony and criticism towards those who “did not believe” in the magic of storytelling. At some points it even seemed to me that Ms. Simmons was contradicting herself. History is not a sermon, not straightforward labeling, not imposing on the audience the “correct” understanding from the position of an all-knowing “guru.” But the author constantly slips into this very guruism and missionaryism:(. Perhaps it all seemed to me, but on an emotional level the book caused me certain doubts and even rejection. ( For example, P. Guber’s book “Tell to Win” seemed to me much more useful -)

This happens to me quite often when some text drives me into a stupor. Intellectually, I seem to understand it, but on some deep emotional level, the text surprises me. Moreover, this is surprise with a minus sign, this is surprise-disagreement. Something Other is revealed in the text, something very “not mine.” The first impulsive reaction to such texts is to close the book, throw it somewhere far away, and forget :).

That's what I used to do. But over the years, I came to understand that it is precisely such texts (which contain a frightening, incomprehensible and negative Other) that are most useful for my personal and professional development. Of course, not everything and not always. It happens that the text is so alien that nothing can be done about it. But I have a rule: after a while, be sure to return to books that “surprised” (in a negative sense) me. The "otherness" contained in these texts often contains fantastic potential for growth. And if I manage to integrate this potential into my life, truly amazing changes occur.

A similar story happened with A. Simmons’ book “Storytelling.” At first I didn't really like her; provoked many doubts and questions. In accordance with my algorithm for working with the IVD book (Ideas - Questions - Actions), I outlined some actions that I wanted to try in practice. I put the book itself aside, but not even three years have passed :)) when the time has come to re-read it again. And understand what she taught me.

Let me start by saying that I am not new to the topic of storytelling...

My life is in storytelling :)

If anyone is not interested, then you can safely skip this section, because the author in it is going to praise himself beloved :). Of course, the purpose of writing is not boasting, but a kind of retrospective arrangement of “reference points” of my experience as a storyteller.

My first stories were told to my little sister when I was 10-11 years old and she was 5 years old. There was a wonderful family tradition at home - my parents read us some kind of “bedtime story” before going to bed. Of course, the fairy tale was chosen to be simple, taking into account the sister’s age. It was boring for me to listen to this, but I had to endure it. But after our parents wished us good night, turned off the lights and left the nursery, it was my turn :). Usually I took as a basis the plot I had just heard, added new characters, new circumstances, and began to complete the tale.

I suspect that my stories had to be marked “12+, only for boys” :)). Because there were too many fights and shootouts, chases, secret tricks and ingenious devices, terrible villains and noble heroes. Sometimes, at the tearful requests of my sister, beautiful princesses were added to the story, but usually these were harsh boyish action films, without sentimentality :). Good always defeated evil, but the path to victory itself could be very long and confusing.

My first (and best :)) listener - my younger sister - liked my stories. But our parents kept chasing us ("Sleep, stop chatting there already!"). We were put to bed at 9-10 pm, and I could tell my story until midnight and even long after midnight. It happened a couple of times that after hearing a story, my sister was “all emotional” and could not sleep until the morning. Then I walked around half asleep the whole next day. As you understand, I got a lot of punishment from my parents for such “sabotage”!

Around the same age, a little older - 11-14 years old - the ability to tell stories helped me make friends. I was not physically strong or agile, I did not have any special talents or skills; those. nothing at all that would allow me to claim at least some kind of leadership among my peers. At this age I was fat and clumsy with glasses, extremely timid and shy. Plus, I have always been an introvert who finds it much easier to communicate with books than with real people. I found “my pack” only thanks to my ability to write and tell stories.

This happened after the release of the film “D. Artagnan and the Three Musketeers” (dir. Yungvald-Khilkevich) in 1979 (I was 12 years old). It will probably be very difficult for children today to imagine the wild popularity that the film had then. Everyone fenced! :) The noble musketeers sorted things out with the cardinal's guards during breaks, and even during lessons :), and in every yard after school.

The film was released on New Year's Eve (December 25), and I remember very well the mass musketeer massacres in our yard during the New Year holidays. The massacres were costumed - over winter clothes they wore “musketeer” cloaks made from sheets or curtains :), with blue crosses painted on them. "Cardinal" cloaks were either red or black. Moreover, during the massacre one could change cloaks, moving from one team to another. Swords were made from any pieces of wood at hand, but those made from discarded Christmas trees (straight, with a crosspiece “like a real one” near the hilt) were especially valued. How we didn’t injure ourselves with these sticks - only God knows! Although there were plenty of bruises, scratches and abrasions, nothing serious.

Usually we didn’t just fencing “wall to wall”, but acted out some kind of plot. Any massacre began with an impromptu meeting, at which we all came up with a legend for the game. Most often these were some episodes from the film, slightly modified: “Today we are defending a redoubt (several houses and a slide on the playground :)) near the La Rochelle fortress. But in addition to the Huguenots, several more cardinal spies will attack from the rear!” I remember that I always wanted to come up with a more interesting plot. And during the next such “meeting” I said: “Why are we just playing three musketeers?! After all, the book has sequels!” And I told my less-read comrades that there were other books by Dumas about 10 and 20 years later.

I confess that I had not read these books yet :), I had only heard about them. I hope old Dumas will forgive me, because then I began to compose my own sequels to the Three Musketeers, hiding behind his authority. These were short oral improvisations right before the game. The episodes were lightly edited by our comrades, after which we brought them to life.

Over time, the general excitement around the musketeers faded. But I made three (of course, exactly that many! :)) good friends. We “fairly” alternated the musketeer roles - everyone could be Athos, Porthos, Aramis or D’Artagnan. As a result, we no longer played musketeers so much as we composed a continuation of the story with ourselves in the leading roles :). Soon we were tired of the musketeers, and some fantastic and adventurous stories about conquering unknown planets and traveling to dangerous lands were used.What is surprising for me today is that the friendship based on stories turned out to be unexpectedly strong, and lasted all my school years (having gone through various trials).

During high school and college, the target audience for my stories (and the stories themselves) changed radically. Stories were now told exclusively for the fair half of humanity :). I am now very ashamed of them - because there was vanishingly little truth in them, but the flight of fantasy was unlimited. In general, it was still storytelling in the style of Shakhnazarov’s “Courier” :) . I would (im)modestly note that the thesis “women love with their ears” has been repeatedly tested and confirmed;)).

Professional storytelling for a psychologist

I learned the word “storytelling” relatively recently, in 2010. But I began working with stories themselves professionally much earlier - from the moment I began my career as a practical consulting psychologist in 1994.

I remember how, during my studies at the university, one of the teachers talked about the fact that among the Siberian peoples shamans are divided into “sedentary” and “standing”. "Sitters" talk to spirits using texts - poetry, singing, prayers and spells. "Standers" interact with spirits through rituals, music, dance, sacrifices and other manipulations. The ritual of the former is the creation of a text, the ritual of the latter is the unfolding of actions.

By direct analogy to modern psychotherapy can be divided into verbal and nonverbal. Verbal - where the main instrument is speech, dialogue, expressive means of natural language. Nonverbal uses the body, movement, actions, etc. as tools of psychotherapy. Examples of verbal psychotherapy: all psychoanalysis, cognitive and rational psychotherapy, positive, etc. Non-verbal psychotherapy includes many types of art therapy and body psychotherapy.

For me, the choice was easy: “telesco” and art therapy, this is, of course, great, but not my thing :(. I like to take part in such practices, but I don’t see them as my working tool. I like to work with meanings. Any discourse is suitable, but there are especially favorite ones: Jung’s archetypes (especially in the psychoanalysis of fairy tales by M. von Franz and the “hero’s journey” by D. Campbell); Lacanian/Deleuzean approach “language as the unconscious”; NLPist “structure of magic” and especially the therapeutic metaphors of M. Erikson; parables in positive therapy by N. Pezeshkian; in cognitive and rational psychotherapy, I especially liked questioning techniques with which you can help structure any personal story. Of course, this is not full list! For example, narrative psychotherapy is quite popular today, the methods of which I also partly use in my work.

For non-psychologists, I’ll explain it simply. A psychologist's job is to listen to other people's stories.. Even if a person talks about some current problem, it is still necessary to restore the full context of its occurrence and development. The unfolding of a problem over time is history. And not only problems, but also the life of a given person.

The “first move” in communication between a psychologist and a client is always the client’s - he tells a story about himself and his problem. The psychologist can choose different listening strategies: from maximum passivity (the principle of the “dispassionate mirror” in psychoanalysis or unreflective listening in Rogerian psychology) to active complicity-co-authorship in the client’s story. The psychologist can guide and structure the client's story, e.g. questioning techniques.

I will add that not everyone has well-developed verbal abilities. Over the years of practice, I have met quite a lot of people for whom even a simple coherent story about themselves (their problem, their life, etc.) is very difficult. You literally have to “pull” the story out of them with the help of leading questions. This must be done extremely carefully (using open-ended questions) so as not to introduce unnecessary things into the story.

Sometimes just telling/listening to a story is enough. For example, for situations of acute grief, empathic listening is the number one method. For situations of breakup or loss, the best way to “get through” them to the end is to tell (maybe more than once) the story of these losses. If only you knew how many amazing stories I have heard over the years of work! And not always tragic or terrible, but rather amazing, in which grief and joy are closely intertwined. Over the years, I understand more and more that life is much richer and more varied than books or movies. From time to time I joke that in retirement, when I quit studying psychology, I’ll start writing scripts for TV series :) I've already accumulated so many stories that it's easily enough for several 100-episode soap operas :)).

But for now - shhh, silentio! Medical confidentiality has never been abolished, and I, of course, guarantee complete confidentiality to my clients. Their stories are stored inside me more securely than in the Chernobyl sarcophagus. And here, by the way, there is significant difference: storytelling suggests making your personal story as open as possible (“ Share it with other people and it will become easier!"), and in psychology the story is put into the ears of only a trusted person - a psychologist or psychotherapist (" Give your story away for safekeeping. Put it in a safe safe and live freely. The time will come when you are ready - you will take it back - purified and rethought").

I do not share the enthusiasm of storytellers who believe that any honest story told to the public is good. The story told begins to live its own life, finds new owners and, sooner or later, will definitely be used against us:(. This is a law that must always be remembered. I have several such cases, but one of the latest is the #I'mNotAfraidToSay flash mob on social networks in 2016, when women - victims of sexual violence - openly told their stories. I admit that it is a problem sexual violence exists, we need to talk about it. But it’s one thing to change public opinion, and a completely different thing is the reaction of loved ones and “neighboring society” (at the level of our settlement). Neighboring society is morally and psychologically not ready to accept such stories, it doesn’t want them listen. There is rejection and retaliatory aggression; the victim of sexual violence is further stigmatized, and instead of the long-awaited relief, the confession story gives rise to new pain and new misunderstanding. Instead of liberation, the victim of violence becomes even more convinced that “everything is bad with me” :(. And disentangle the consequences of such “storytelling” occur already in the psychologist’s office.

...Somehow I went astray :) Let me return to the methodology: sometimes it is enough for a psychologist to act only as a listener to the story (which already helps to improve the client’s emotional state), but in the vast majority of cases the psychologist acts as an active co-author. The meaning of psychotherapeutic dialogue is in transformation, in “re-composing” the client’s story. New semantic accents are added to the story told by the client (and sometimes the meaning of the story as a whole changes); new ones appear in it structural elements- details, characters, events, situations, etc.; unexpected plot moves appear, and the ending of the story may change.

I wrote my first psychotherapeutic stories for children, to correct children's fears. In Gianni Rodari's wonderful book "The Grammar of Fantasy (An Introduction to the Art of Inventing Stories)" I read the idea that it is possible to re-invent fairy tales. Of course, good usually defeats evil anyway, but the fairy tale can be remade so that this victory is sophisticated :) and especially convincing. Such unconditional victory gives the child a sense of control over fear. I began to remake scary fairy tales with children - more precisely, “horror stories” that they composed themselves - and then I learned (from Alexander Ivanovich Zakharov) that such fairy tale therapy has been used for a long time. I consider A.I. Zakharov to be my Teacher; and all sorts of now popular Zinkevich-Evstigneevs :) appeared much later. By the way, at one time I even collected children’s “horror stories”; Under my scientific supervision, several theses were written about ways to respond to children's fears through stories.

Of course, I used stories not only with children, but also with adults. I heard something about fairy tale therapy, but at that time I knew nothing at all about storytelling, but gradually I came to my own method of working with stories. I simply called her - THREE ( Storytelling Technique); and in the early 2000s, he even conducted a couple of master classes for practical psychologists in our city on “Storytelling Techniques in Child/Adult Psychotherapy.” According to reviews from colleagues, the system turned out to be quite working. In this note, I will not retell the THREE method :), otherwise the size of this not small text will increase three times)). But "maybe someday" ;) .

Later I began to actively use stories on personal growth trainings and professional/career counseling. Here, for example, is a simple technique that is often used in personal growth trainings: “Draw your life path, and then tell a coherent story based on this picture.” Based on this story, you can ask many “enlightening” questions :); and the picture itself can, if desired, be turned into a visual map of the future, supplemented with high-quality time management (well-formulated goals and plans). But it is much more interesting when the life story based on the drawn picture is told by the author of the drawing himself, and all participants in the training write it together. In this version, the story invented by the group sometimes provides surprisingly powerful insights.

A similar “composition” of one’s life path - like the “hero’s path” according to Joseph Campbell - works quite well in career guidance/career counseling for high school students and students. I won’t write the details, but my presentation on the topic “Storytelling: build your career!”

There was a lot of storytelling :))) in my work as political consultant, or rather an image maker. As you understand, politics is applied myth-making, in which you have to not only edit the biography (and life :)) of a candidate in order to show how “great and terrible” he is, but also “package” the candidate’s political ideas into convincing and understandable ones for the electorate stories.

As business consultant I used storytelling as a tool in solving three problems: 1) creating and promoting a brand (“Storytelling as a method of brand promotion”); 2) formation of a strong organizational culture; 3) team building, increasing the cohesion of the workforce.

...somehow I’m tired of writing about my beloved self :), move on to Annette Simmons

10 Key Storytelling Ideas from Annette Simmons

1) In applied storytelling (stories told to influence others) there are only 6 main plots:

1. Stories like “Who am I” - a story about yourself, as open as possible, not hiding shortcomings

3. Stories about “vision” - paint for the audience an exciting, vivid and visual picture of the (common, shared) future

4. Instructive stories - teach new skills using specific examples

5. Stories that demonstrate “Values ​​in Action” - the best way to convey the value of something is a personal example (a story about a value choice made)

6. Stories that say “I know what you’re thinking” - anticipate doubts and objections

2) Formally "story" = any narrative message, drawn from personal experience, imagination, literary or mythological source.

But in reality, “stories” are only those narratives that evoke a strong emotional response, that we easily remember (often not on purpose, this is a kind of “emotional imprinting”), and that become part of our personality, changing our lives.

History is multidimensional. This means that any good story is a symbol, i.e. hides a whole package of meanings. And history is valuable to us personally precisely because in various life situations we can “print out” it and extract the meanings that we need now, that are relevant at the moment. Moreover, this package of meanings can also contain meanings that are directly opposite in sign and meaning - the story is illogical.

On my own behalf, I will add that the internal plan of history is always much richer than the external one. On the surface it may be a simple parable or anecdote that can be easily interpreted. This is the sin of novice psychologists - they think that it is very simple to understand (and even more so interpret) the client’s story/story. This is wrong! Any story told is just the tip of the iceberg.

3) Well, I really liked the story about Nasreddin :) It seemed very relevant to me for business education, in which I work. Just the methodology for conducting trainings :))

“Nasreddin, a wise, but at times simple-minded man, was once asked by the elders of one village to give a sermon in the mosque. Nasreddin, knowing that his head was full of wisdom, did not consider it necessary to prepare for it. On the first morning, he stood in the doorway of the mosque, sticking out his chest and began: “My beloved brothers, do you know what I will now talk about?” People, humbly lowering their heads, said in response to him: “We are simple poor people. How do we know what you will talk about?” Nasreddin proudly threw his robe over his shoulder and pompously announced: “That means there is no need for me here,” and walked away.

People were filled with curiosity, and the following week even more people gathered at the mosque. And again Nasreddin did not deign to prepare for the sermon. He stepped forward and asked, “My beloved brothers, how many of you know what I am about to talk about?” But this time people did not lower their heads. "We know! We know what you're going to talk about!” Nasreddin again threw the hem of his robe over his shoulder and, saying, “So, there’s no need for me here,” just like the previous week, he walked away.

Another week passed, and Nasreddin, as before, unprepared, appeared at the mosque. He stepped forward confidently and asked the same question: “My beloved brothers, how many of you know what I am going to talk about?” But this time people met Khoja fully armed. Half of them said: “We are poor, simple people. How do we know what you're going to talk about?" The other half said: “We know! We know what you're going to talk about." Old Nasrudin thought for a moment and said: “Let those of you who know tell about this to those who do not know, but there is no need for me here.” With these words, he wrapped himself in his robe and walked away."

But why does A. Simmons tell this story? People irrationally believe in their rationality :). We all think that we are “reasonable people” who are ready to impartially perceive only the facts, and make our judgments about something only on the basis of the facts. But actually the story is broader and larger than individual facts. History is a broader context into which we consciously (and more often unconsciously) include the facts we have.

From here there are three important applied conclusions: a) facts outside of history are ignored and overlooked; b) first you need to tell (clarify, update) the story, and only then present the facts in this context/frame; c) if you want to change the perception/understanding/evaluation of facts, change the story in which they are included.

4) Good history = presentation of history= "one-man show". History deals with emotions, so ANY expressive means (ways of expressing and amplifying emotions) are good. In addition to the expressive means of speech/language, our entire body is involved in telling a story.

Practical conclusion: a good storyteller “pumps up” and skillfully uses body language - facial expressions, pantomime, voice, movement, etc. In short, acting skills training is highly recommended :).

5) The purpose of history is integration. A good story builds bridges between the storyteller and the audience, between the listeners, between the audience and humanity, between the space of the story and the vast outside world. History “stitches” heterogeneous and multidirectional interests, needs, and goals together with a common meaning.

There is always something more than our immediate needs. There is always something more valuable than the values ​​actualized in a given situation. The story, as it were, “expands” the situation and its understanding, bringing the audience to a certain new meta-level.

A good story helps you first feel (at the level of emotional involvement) that there is something more; then understand these meta-values ​​and overall goals; then accept them.

6) The scope of a good story is the whole person and his destiny(i.e. ENTIRE life).

Our inner stories are the scripts we live by. This is our personal myth, in which we already have a strictly assigned role (or roles). Many of our internal stories are laid down in us in childhood, at a preconscious age. This means that our old stories will inevitably resist any new stories.

Can new stories “defeat” old ones? Victory is impossible through direct conflict. New stories can only “absorb” the old ones, incorporating (integrating) them into themselves. A new story will take root only when it shows us a new “better” version of ourselves - more holistic and larger-scale, based on our best qualities, but also accepting of the “past me”. The new story gives a vision of the “new me in my new life” (throughout this life).

On my own behalf, I will add that Simmons reveals this idea extremely vaguely:(. But the idea itself is very good, and fits perfectly with Jungian individuation, self-actualization according to Maslow and other self-development methodologies.

7) Negative stories don't work! Even if we are trying to draw the audience's attention to scary and objectively unpleasant problems, we should not put pressure on negative emotions. Stories should inspire, not kill hope.

Exists six difficult situations- emotional states of listeners - in which the influence of the story weakens (and what to do to overcome these states):

1. Cynicism, skepticism, increased criticality - tell the story so that it connects/includes the personal impressions/experience of the listeners, this will be the best evidence for them;

2. Resentment towards the narrator - demonstrate respect for the individual; look for “intersection points”; record common interests; show a common perspective (vision of a joint future);

3. Envy - /similar to point 2/;

4. Hopelessness, despondency, lack of faith in success - a “value in action” story showing that change begins with us, and that even great changes begin with small steps;

5. Apathy, lack of motivation, passivity - the cause of apathy is usually the fear of strong negative experiences, plus this is a consequence of a lack of strength and vital energy. We need stories about what makes us alive, what helps us find sources of “living water” in ourselves and in the world around us;

6. Greed, selfishness - in general, the strategy is the same - the search for common interests, but I really liked the story (from the category of “alternative value in action” :)) from a book that can be told to egoists:

“One day, the animals gathered in the forest to decide which of them was the strongest. Each one came out into the clearing and demonstrated what he was capable of. The monkey jumped up a tree, and then began to deftly jump from branch to branch. All the animals began to applaud her. Then An elephant approached the same tree, tore it up by the roots and raised it to the sky. All the animals agreed that the elephant was stronger than the monkey. But the man said: “Anyway, I am stronger.” Everyone laughed - how could a man be stronger than an elephant? The man got angry and took out a gun. The animals scattered and ran away from the man forever. The man did not know the difference between strength and death. And the animals are still afraid of his ignorance."

8) The book has a very good chapter about listening skills. The principle is simple: Before you tell a story, you need to listen to the story your audience. Otherwise, there simply won’t be a common basis for conversation.

Personally, this chapter was of little use to me, because... Listening skills are my daily work tool. I came up with two ideas for myself: a) stories are told not only by clients in my office :), and we need to pay more attention to random stories; b) less analytical and critical (especially in relation to random stories).

9) The narrator and the listener are two equal and complementary roles. Correct storytelling is only possible when there is a position of partnership, equality and respect between all participants in the situation. Perhaps the biggest mistake in storytelling is taking on the role of an all-knowing guru, lecturing down to an unintelligent audience. I can’t resist, I’ll give you a brilliant quote from a book about guruism:

“A friend of mine, a successful writer, speaker and teacher, complained that people wanted to label her a guru at all costs. Achieving influence requires pauses, and I said nothing, but I wanted to say: “My dear, if they they stick to you that way, it means you yourself are provoking them to do this." Any person who has even a little charisma and knows how to speak smoothly can win over to his side those who readily renounce independent thinking. In fact, the role of a guru is very tempting. But becoming an object of worship is very dangerous, because then the thinking public is automatically excluded from your field of influence.

If such a condescending guru were to look away for a moment from the admiring faces of his followers, he would see less admiring faces. Raised eyebrows in surprise and averted glances are a thinking person’s response to a condescending smile, long vague explanations and wise aphorisms. Those who are not part of a close circle of followers will be irritated by the spirit of superiority, and you will not be able to influence such people. Giving up the guru role may disappoint fans, but in return you may gain a wider audience."

Which I completely agree with :)

10) And the last super idea from the book is 7 Ways to Find Stories for Storytelling:

1. Look for samples: a variety of topics that reveal you as a person; stories about moments of spiritual uplift that prove that you are on the right path; repeated instances of failure that prompt you to look for stories about why you are here; stories about your triumphs and what they all mean to you.

2. Look for patterns: remember the good and bad results of your efforts in the past, see how they can be used for future success; evaluate how good and bad results affected your relationships with people; Read stories with morals (such as Aesop's fables) to remember similar experiences in your life.

3. Learn lessons: remember critical situations and formulate the lessons you learned from them; remember the biggest mistakes you have made; remember the moments when you were glad that you listened to your parents; reflect on a career turning point and the lessons learned from it; look back and think about what you would do differently now.

4. Look for benefit: remember the story that changed you, the story that is organically woven into the old story; remember other people's stories that worked; Do you have a “home” story in your arsenal that could be useful in the workplace? Ask others to tell you a story that affected them and ask permission to use it.

5. Look for vulnerabilities: talk about your weak points; remember when and why you last cried; remember the last time you were so happy that you wanted to start dancing; remember the moment when you wanted to hide under the table out of shame; remember touching family stories about those you truly loved.

6. Imagine future experiences: turn your “what could have been” dreams into a full-fledged story with real characters (people love to be included in stories); turn your misgivings into a full-fledged story with potentially bad consequences - what they will be and who they will harm.

7. Find a memorable story: Find a story that sticks out in your mind and explore its deeper meaning; You liked a movie or book for a reason - try to tell its story from your point of view, so that others understand what meaning you see in it."

As a bonus, catch a mind map - not through the entire book, but only through 7 ways to find/create stories. When I read about these seven methods, I immediately had an idea - is it possible to create some kind of templates from these methods ( or “tips”, as they are called in freewriting ;)), like “once upon a time,” with which you can not only begin to tell a story, but which can also become a kind of “skeleton”, the basis of the story? In the mind map you will find the following templates you can use to create your own stories. Of course, these are just the options that came to my mind, and you can always add your own ideas to them. The map below is clickable (to enlarge), this mindmap can also be downloaded in *.pdf formats

At the beginning, I also mentioned that I worked the book using my IDA algorithm (Ideas - Questions - Actions). I don’t want to report in detail, I’ll publish here 10 questions that I formulated for myself after reading the book. I can only say that I am still working on answers to some of these questions. Maybe these questions (or rather, the answers to them ;)) will be useful to you:

1) Which plot (out of 6 typical ones) is most relevant to me now? To achieve my life goals, what kind of stories do I need to tell now?

2) What stories have shocked me in the last 2-3 years? What stories changed (and how?) me, became part of my personality?

3) History = yoga (from Sanskrit “unity”) = rope to tie... what?! Why exactly do I need a story? What parts of my life / destiny / World in general do I want to connect? What integrity, what unity am I missing?

4) Am I a good story teller (and writer)? What exactly, what specific skills do I need to “pump up” in the ability to present stories orally and in writing?

5) Who is my listener? Who would I like to tell my stories to? What is the profile of the “audience of my dreams”? :) And most importantly: what kind of “togetherness” can I offer to my best audience?

6) What story/stories am I living in now? What are my roles/characters today? And what's next in the story? How can my stories today end, what actions does the logic of my role push me to?

Do I want my story today to be immortalized in a book? Or is my real “personal myth” much larger? Isn't it time to enlarge the scale of my story today?

7) Which of the six barriers (cynicism, apathy, etc.) do I and my stories face? What can be done? Amplify stories? Change audience? Talking about something else altogether?!

8) Whose stories do I like to listen to today? Why do I want to listen to them, why do I really need it?

9) What can I do to improve the dialogue with my audience? So that this is truly an exchange of stories “as equals”?

10) Where does my story take me? What kind of ending do I want and can write?

...these are the questions :) Believe me, while answering them, the self-coaching turned out to be not shabby :)) Try it!

Good luck to everyone and good storytelling;)

If you liked / found this text useful, be sure to check out "Tips"!

Storytelling. How to harness the power of stories

The author dedicates this book to the memory of Dr. James Noble Farr

Preface

One day, at a conference center located among the picturesque green hills, I was teaching a seminar on storytelling - the art of oral storytelling. The gentle Virginia climate little by little melted the icy shell in which the long Boston winter had shackled me. The enthusiasts gathered in the hall were friendly and friendly. And suddenly I noticed in this crowd a truly radiant face, as if my whole story was reflected in it in a mirror. I realized that I had hit the target - a spiritual connection had arisen between me and this listener.

After the speech, I tracked down this girl and immediately realized that she did not quite fit in with the company of teachers, lecturers, religious mentors and simply lovers of storytelling: Annette Simmons and her friend Cheryl DeChantis came from the world of big business. And both were terribly excited by the prospects that our art promised for this field of activity.

I was suspicious, if not skeptical, about their idea: the world of business was terribly far from me. Do they really believe that directors, managers, sales specialists - all these people accustomed to operating only with accounting calculations - will be seriously interested in my art and will be able to derive some benefit from it?

However, Annette convinced me. At that time, she worked in some company as a consultant on “difficult situations”: she explained to tough managers how to solve problems with “inconvenient” people. Annette weaned them away from the brutal tactics of street fighters and instilled in them the graceful skills of martial artists.

Having understood the importance of storytelling, she was able to delve into the details that, in fact, make it an effective business tool. Annette fully felt the power - even if indirect - of this unique form of communication. Her knowledge of the basics of the communication effect of advertising also helped her: Annette managed to combine both approaches and as a result received a powerful method of influence.

Very soon I felt not only a teacher, but also a student. I helped Annette understand the art of storytelling, and she helped me become an ambassador for storytelling in the world of big business. Now Annette has written a book that, like any good book, demonstrates the truth in a way that simply cannot be ignored.

What is valuable in it? This book brings together three closely related ideas. First: the revival of storytelling in our advanced world and the understanding of the mental and emotional processes released by storytelling. Second: a growing understanding in the business community that the success of an enterprise is possible only when the people working in it fully devote their physical and mental strength to the business; otherwise, the result is a hack job that affects both employees and companies. And finally, third: storytelling helps us use the achievements of practical psychology and achieve sustainable influence on people while maintaining a respectful attitude towards them.

Annette's words are consistent with her deeds. She uses stories and their plots convincingly. She treats the reader with respect. It highlights and emphasizes what great leaders and speakers have always known: storytelling plays key role in motivation, persuasion and encouragement for voluntary full cooperation. Annette was the first to describe all this with extraordinary clarity and passion, and this passion makes the book relatable, understandable and useful for all people, no matter what they do.

© Annette Simmons 2006
© Translation into Russian, publication in Russian, design. Mann, Ivanov and Ferber LLC, 2013

The electronic version of the book was prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru)

In memory of the doctor
James Noble Farr
the author dedicates this book

Preface

Introduction

It was October 1992. It was a windy day with typical Tennessee weather. Four hundred people gathered in a tent covered with thick fabric. We waited for the next storyteller to speak. The crowd was very diverse - urban fashionistas and rugged farmers, professors and senior students. Sitting next to me was a white-bearded farmer wearing a National Rifle Association baseball cap. When the African American man came on stage, the farmer leaned towards his wife sitting next to him and whispered something irritably in her ear. Я разобрала слово «ниггер» и решила, что не смолчу, если он еще раз скажет что-нибудь подобное. But the farmer fell silent and began to study the canvas shed with a bored look. And the speaker began his story about how, in the sixties, somewhere in the outback of Mississippi, he and his friends were sitting around a fire at night. A march was scheduled for tomorrow civil rights, and people were afraid of the approaching morning, they did not know what it would bring them. Everyone silently looked at the flame, and then one of them began to sing... And the song conquered fear. The story was so talented that we all saw that fire in front of us and felt the fear of those people. The narrator asked us to sing along with him. We started singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. The farmer sitting next to me also sang. I saw a tear running down his chapped cheek. This is how I became convinced of the power of words. A radical fighter for the rights of blacks was able to touch the heart of an ultra-conservative racist. I passionately wanted to understand how he managed to do this.
This book is about what I have learned over the past eight years. It's about the craft of storytelling, the power of persuasion that lies in a good story. I write about everything I know about this wonderful art.
While studying storytelling, I realized one very important thing. The science or art of influence through oral history cannot be taught in the traditional way, through reference books and manuals. To understand influence, we will have to abandon convenient models of cause and effect. The magic of influence is not in what we say, but in what we say. How we speak, and also in what we ourselves are. This dependence does not lend itself to rational analysis and cannot be described using conventional diagrams and tables.
Dividing the art of storytelling into fragments, parts and priorities destroys it. There are truths that we simply know; we cannot prove them, but we know they are true. Storytelling takes us into areas where we trust our knowledge, even if we cannot measure, weigh, or evaluate it empirically.
This book will give the “rational” left hemisphere of your brain a little break. For the most part, it appeals to the “intuitive” right brain. The secret to the influence of oral history lies in the creativity of people. But this ability to create can be suppressed by the erroneous postulate that if you cannot explain what you know, then you don’t know it. In fact, we all have knowledge that we are not even aware of. Once you begin to trust your own wisdom, you can use it to influence others to discover depths of wisdom they themselves have not yet realized.
Your wisdom and power of persuasion are like a bag of magic beans that you put in a distant drawer and forgot about. This book was written just so that you can find that very bag and regain the most ancient tool of influence - oral history. Stories are not only fairy tales and moralizing parables. Telling a good story is like watching a documentary and telling it so that others who haven't seen it can understand it. A good narrative can touch the soul of the most stubborn opponent or the power-hungry scoundrel who blocks your path, depriving you of the opportunity to achieve your goals. If you are not sure that the scoundrel has a soul, I advise you to re-watch the film How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Everyone has a soul. (In fact, there are not many dangerous sociopaths in the world.) And deep down, every person wants to be proud of himself and feel important - this is where the opportunity to influence him with the help of the right story lies.
In this book, I often use my own stories as examples and often talk about myself. I tried my best to use the pronoun “I” as little as possible, but storytelling is a purely personal matter. I really hope that as you discuss my stories, you will begin to think about your own. You will realize that your best stories tell about what happened or is happening to you. Never even stutter as if there is “nothing personal” in the subject of your story. If the subject is important, then it is always personal. In order for your story to reach the listener and influence him the way you would like, you don’t have to hide what’s in your soul. In fact, it is the soul that tells the most compelling stories. Tell your story - the world needs it.

Chapter 1
Six main stories

To be human is to have a story to tell.

Skip looked into the faces of the shareholders, who clearly showed wariness and even hostility, and feverishly wondered how he could convince them. He is thirty-five years old, but he looks like a teenager, and he is also third-generation rich: a suspicious combination. It is not surprising that his appointment to a leadership position seems like a disaster to them. And then Skip decided to tell them a story.
In my first job, he began, I was designing ship electrical systems. Errors in design and drawing were not allowed, because after laying the wires and cables, the mold was filled with fiberglass and the slightest mistake could cost the company a million dollars, no less. By the age of twenty-five, I already had two master's degrees. I spent what seemed like my whole life on ships, and in the end, these drawings, these diagrams turned for me, frankly, into a meaningless routine. One day, early in the morning, a hard worker from the shipyard called me - one of those who earns six dollars an hour - and asked if I was sure of my scheme? I lost my temper. Of course I'm sure! “Fill this damn form and don’t wake me up so early!” An hour later, the guy’s foreman called me and asked again if I was sure that the diagram was correct. This completely drove me crazy. I yelled that I was sure of this an hour ago and I’m still sure.
It was only after the president of the company called me and asked the same question that I finally got out of bed and rushed to work. If they want me to personally rub their nose into the drawing, well, I will. I tracked down the worker who called me first. He sat at the table above my diagram and looked at it carefully, tilting his head strangely. Trying my best to control myself, I began to patiently explain. As I spoke, my voice became less and less confident, and my head acquired the same strange tilt as that of a worker. It turned out that I (being naturally left-handed) mixed up the sides and swapped the right and left sides, and the result was a mirror image of what it should have been. Thank God, the worker was able to notice my mistake in time. The next day I found a box on my desk. To warn me against future mistakes, the guys gave me a pair of multi-colored tennis shoes: red left for the port side, green right for the starboard side. These shoes remind me not only about the placement of the sides, but also that you need to listen to what they tell you, even if you are one hundred percent sure that you are right. And Skip raised those same multi-colored shoes above his head.
The shareholders smiled and calmed down. If this youngster has already received a punch on the nose for his arrogance and can learn from it, then perhaps he can understand how to run a company.

Believe me

People don't need new information. They're fed up with her. They need faith– faith in you, in your goals, in your success. Faith—not facts—moves mountains. Just because you can get people to do something doesn't mean you can influence them. True influence is when people pick up the flag you drop because they believe in you. Faith overcomes any obstacle. She is capable of conquering everything - money, power, power, political advantage and brute force.
History can give people faith. If your story inspires your listeners, if they come to the same conclusions as you, if they follow your story his, you can consider that you managed to reach them. Further influence will not require much effort - it will grow on its own as people tell your story to others.
It doesn't matter what form your story takes—whether it's visual, supported by your entire life, or whether you put it into words. The main thing is that she answers one single question: can you be trusted? Skip's story shows that even multimillionaires can have problems with influence. If influence were a simple derivative of power and money, then Skip would have no problem, since he has both. However, there are times when power and wealth turn into disadvantage.
Isn't Skip's action a cunning manipulation? Maybe. But this will immediately be revealed as soon as he falls silent. As soon as the manipulator stops weaving his network, it inevitably begins to break. Manipulation (that is, the desire to make people believe a false story) is the most primitive form of influence. There are much more powerful sources of influence available to any person with the most ordinary life experience. These sources are true, compelling stories.
We can divide the stories that will help you achieve influence into six types. Here they are:
1. “Who am I” stories
2. Stories that explain “Why I’m here”
3. Stories about “vision”
4. Cautionary stories
5. Stories that demonstrate “Values ​​in Action”
6. Stories that say "I know what you're thinking"
The first two questions the people you want to influence ask themselves are: “Who is he?” and “Why is he here?” Until they receive answers to these questions, not a single word you say will be believed. The shareholders Skip sought to influence primarily wanted to understand who he was. At first, they decided that this was another heir to a large fortune who had decided to play at being a tough businessman. And Skip had to replace the "We can't trust a man like that" story that the shareholders had already told themselves with a new story that made them believe in him.
Skip might say, "Yes, I'm rich, I'm young, and I just bought a majority stake in your company, but don't worry... I'm not an arrogant know-it-all." Formally, these words have the same essence as the story he tells. But there is a huge difference between the effect of a story and the effect of simply saying, “I can be trusted.”
Before you try to influence someone, convey your “message”, “vision” of the problem, you will have to inspire trust in your interlocutors. Statement like “I good man(smart, moral, tactful, influential, informed, resourceful, successful - take your pick) and therefore worthy of your trust,” will most likely, on the contrary, arouse suspicion. People must come to this conclusion themselves. But building trust based on experience usually takes time, and the best thing you can do is tell a story. Story is the only way to demonstrate who you are. Other methods - persuasion, bribery or fiery appeals - are the essence of nudge strategies. Storytelling is an attraction strategy. If the story is good enough, people will voluntarily come to the conclusion that you and your words can be trusted.

So what do you want to talk about there?

So, we already understand: before people allow themselves to be influenced, they will want to know who you are and why you are here. If you don't tell, people will do it for you, and their opinion will almost certainly not be in your favor. Such is human nature: people are sure that those who seek influence expect to gain some benefit for themselves. At the same time, they are initially convinced that they want to obtain this benefit at their expense. I repeat, this is human nature. Therefore, you will have to tell your story in such a way that everyone understands that this person can be trusted. The stories may be different depending on the situations. Imagine the extreme case: a “green” hooligan desperately wants to get into a street gang. The “old people” will probably believe him if he tells them a true story about how he stole something somewhere (or did something else like that). I know, getting into a street gang isn't your plan, so you'll have to tell stories that prove your moral integrity or, if you're going into business, your ability to do business. Any story that has meaning and meaning to the listener, but also gives them insight into what kind of person you are, will work.
Think about the people who have ever tried to influence you, be it a manager, a colleague, a salesperson, a volunteer activist, a preacher, or a consultant. Remember which of them succeeded and which failed. Did you agree with them because they were able to influence you, or did they influence you because you agreed with them in the first place? Why did you believe one and not the other? It was probably important for you to understand what kind of people they are and how they want to benefit from working with you. And no matter how much they talked about the benefits “for you personally,” about your potential interest, no matter what arguments and logical justifications they gave, in fact, you still passed every word through a filter of trust, based on your own judgment about who is speaking and why is this being said?
A consultant selling an idea will waste his time extolling its merits if he fails to connect with his audience from the beginning. Most often, his audience is firmly convinced that all consultants are more interested in payment for their services than in the success of clients, and will not listen to what they are told until they encounter an honest specialist for whom business comes first, and fees come first. secondary. The new chairman of any public committee should not move on to the agenda until the committee members stop looking at him as just another benefactor of humanity and a politically engaged careerist. A priest who does not empathize with people will not be able to guide anyone on the path of love and forgiveness. A quality manager's impassioned pleas for better customer service will go nowhere if employees believe that "this guy doesn't know anything about real life."
According to a poll conducted several years ago by the New York Times and CBS News, sixty-three percent of respondents believed that one should exercise maximum caution in dealing with others, and the remaining thirty-seven percent believed that “most people would try to use you in your own interests." There is hardly any reason to doubt the reliability of these data. Therefore, your first task is to try to convince people that you can be trusted. How to do it? The answer is contained in the survey results themselves. Respondents stated that eighty-five percent of the people they know can be expected to be honest and sincere. Well well! Is it really that simple? Give people the opportunity to understand who you are, help them feel like they know you, and their trust in you will automatically triple. Remember the common phrases: “He’s a normal guy, I know him” or “It’s not that I don’t trust her, I just don’t know her.”
How can we expect people to trust and be willing to be influenced by us if they don’t know what we are? When communicating, we spend too much energy on addressing the “rational” half of the brain, forgetting about the “emotional” half. But she does not tolerate neglect. The “emotional half” does not perceive rational evidence; it lives by the principle of “God takes care” and never loses its vigilance.

Stories on the topic “Who am I”

We already know that the first question people ask when they realize you want to influence them is “Who is he?” Naturally, you want a certain impression to be made about you. For example, if you make me laugh, then I will immediately come to the conclusion that you are not a bore, I will calm down and start listening to you. However, if you start your speech with the words “I am a very interesting person,” then I will start looking around for a way out. That is, you should show who you are, not say, then they will believe you more quickly.
Even experienced speakers are put to the test every time. I recently had the pleasure of listening to Robert Cooper, author of the book Executive EQ. He had to speak to an audience of nine hundred people. The public greeted him as “another consultant” who wrote some kind of book. Arms crossed on his chest, skeptical glances - everything said that the listeners suspected him of being another clown who would start preaching about the importance of “releasing emotions” or would begin to tell things that were obvious to everyone. However, the story with which he began his speech answered unspoken questions, confirmed his sincerity, and in such a way that all nine hundred people understood who he was, what he believed in and why.
Robert spoke about his grandfather. Grandfather suffered four heart attacks and died from the fifth when Robert was sixteen years old. Despite his poor health, the grandfather spared no effort in having long conversations with his grandson; he generously shared his rich life experience. We listened to this story, and Robert’s love for his grandfather was conveyed to us; we saw him through the eyes of a loving teenager. “If a person’s intelligence was assessed by the expressiveness of his gaze, then, I’m not afraid to say, my grandfather would have been recognized as a genius.” Robert told us about the disease that was slowly killing his grandfather. He told how after each heart attack he called his grandson to share his thoughts, and the guy understood that each such meeting could be the last. Grandfather usually began with the words: “I kept thinking about what is most important in life, and I realized: the most important thing is...” We listened as if spellbound. We wanted to find out what the insight of this extraordinary man was. After each attack, the “most important thing” changed, and Robert amused us by confessing his then teenage fears: he was afraid that his grandfather would ask what was the most important thing after the last heart attack.
We were still smiling when Robert revealed to us the old man's last words: “Grandfather said: give the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you. Then he added: I keep asking myself why I didn’t think every day about what was best in me? How much good could then come back to me... To your father... To you. But it won’t come back because now it’s too late for me... But not for you.” We held our breath, feeling the tragic power of the regrets of a man standing on the edge of his grave. "It's too late for me." We are all human and we will all die someday. Each of those present in the hall suddenly realized that the end and possible regret for the missed opportunity to do good awaited him. Robert did not push or force us into anything, but his eyes shone with such sincerity that we understood: he had the right to tell us his story. Only complete cynics could now doubt that Robert Cooper could be trusted.
Personal stories like these help others truly see who you really are. They allow you to show a side of yourself that sometimes remains unknown even to those closest to you.
But there are many other ways to show your audience “who you are.”
To do this, you don’t have to tell a story from your own life. In this book you will find parables, fables, tales, and incidents from the lives of great people. Any story is good as long as you can tell it in a way that reveals the essence of your personality.
If a story speaks of self-sacrifice, we believe that the storyteller knows how to combine his interest with sincere compassion and a willingness to help. If, after listening to a story, we understand that the person telling it is able to admit his mistakes and shortcomings, this means that in difficult situations he will not hide behind denial of the obvious, but will honestly try to correct the situation.