1. If physical attraction is excluded from our relationship, what remains?
3. If I gain extra pounds, will this affect our sexual relationship? If so, how?
4. Is it important for you to know that I am a virgin? Why? Or why not?
5. What actions of mine make you doubt my love?
6. What do you find sexually unattractive? What turns you off about sex?
7. How dramatically will our relationship change if, for medical reasons, we are unable to have children?
8. Do you think this means: a) never need to apologize; b) you should always apologize; c) know when to apologize; d) always apologize first?
Past
1. What key moments of childhood most influenced behavior and attitude?
2. Is it possible to revive old feelings if you meet ex-girlfriend, even if we are bound by obligations?
3. Is there something in your past that I should definitely know about?
4. What did you dislike most about your ex-partner?
5. If your ex-partner made a list of your worst traits, what would they be?
6. Do you keep letters or other mementos from past relationships? Why? Or why not?
8. Have you ever been involved in criminal activity? If so, what was it?
9. Was any violence (sexual, psychological, physical) used by your parents towards each other, or towards you?
10. Have you had any experience of getting rid of addictions? Tell me what it was?
11. Have you been violent in a previous relationship?
Confidence
1. Were there moments when you were uncomfortable with my interactions with the opposite sex? When and what were these situations?
3. Are you comfortable transferring all your savings to my bank account?
4. Who will come first, your spouse or your children?
5. If a situation occurs in which trust is undermined. Will it disappear instantly, or will it go away over time?
6. Do you trust me with your savings?
7. Are we allowed to open each other’s letters, read incoming mail, SMS?
Future
1. What is our difference? Will this be a cause for conflict in the future? Are our differences complementary?
2. Do you plan to change your usual lifestyle after marriage? So, will you spend the same amount of time with friends, family and work colleagues? Why yes or why not?
3. How were conflicts resolved in your family as a child? Do you approve of these methods? Will you change these methods in your future family?
4. Is there anything about marriage that scares you?
5. Do you like living in a big city? In the country? Why?
6. If I have to move for work, will you support me? Will you come with me?
7. How will it affect you if I have to leave often to: a) visit my family; b) on business trips, on work issues; c) on issues related to my favorite hobby; d) cope with stress?
8. Suppose an insoluble problem has arisen in our family. In what order will you turn to outside people for help: a) divorce lawyer; b) parents; c) sister or brother; d) family psychologist; d) friends; g) me? Why?
9. How do you feel about my hobbies?
10. How will you react if the need arises for my parents to live with us?
11. How will we plan our vacation, vacation?
Children
1. Do you want children?
2. If we are unable to have children, should we accept this?
3. What methods of upbringing do you plan to choose: a) the same way you were raised b) radically opposite c) together, both this and this method
4. How long after the wedding do you plan to have children?
5. What kind of education would you like to give your children? Are you planning to help them with this? How?
6. When we have a baby, who will change diapers, warm bottles, cook, do housework, bathe the baby, get up in the middle of the night when the baby cries, take the baby to the doctor, buy clothes and dress the baby?
7. What parenting methods do you plan to use to correct your child’s behavior during adolescence?
Situations that are not usually talked about
1. If I have bad breath, bad body odor, dirty clothes, will you tell me about it? Should I tell you about such things? Why or why not?
2. Do you consider me a capricious person? How will you react to my whims, tantrums and bad mood?
3. Do you like my choice of clothes? Do you unconditionally approve of my taste?
4. What in my family irritates you?
5. Will my body’s reactions, such as rumbling, belching, or passing gas, cause you irritation or embarrassment?
6. Is there anything in your work that is taboo that could cause me pain or an extremely negative reaction?
7. Do you think that the family should be preserved under any circumstances, even if it makes you unhappy?
8. When you need your personal space, you will move away from
Finance
1. Under what circumstances do you allow borrowing money?
2. How much debt do you currently have?
3. Do you experience stress due to financial difficulties? How are you used to dealing with it?
4. How often do you use credit cards? What do you buy with them?
5. Should we prepare our family for a financial crisis?
Even if you have been dating a guy for some time, it is not a fact that you are 100% compatible. What should a girl ask a man/boyfriend before getting married to understand how compatible they are as a couple? In this article we will look at interesting questions for a guy that will help a girl understand his thoughts about love, relationships, family and marriage.
Thanks to these questions, the girl will receive an assessment of her intended marriage partner and whether he will understand her or not? Does she want to live with this person or not? Why does she want to marry him? What will their life together be like?
And if the girl understands that the guy is not the person with whom she would like to connect her life, then she will be able to protect herself from heartache. Therefore, we advise you to carefully consider the list of questions that you need to ask a guy (your potential groom) in order to get to know him better.
Relationships are an integral part of our lives. It's completely normal to want a good relationship with the guy or man you like. But for this relationship to last a lifetime, a girl needs to seriously and honestly answer herself how compatible she is with this person.
We looked at interesting questions for a guy that you can and should ask him before marriage. When a girl asks a guy questions about family, love and relationships, she tries to understand her boyfriend’s way of thinking based on his answers. family relationships and what kind of marriage partner he will be for her. So that her decision to marry him is balanced and serious.
This article consists of twelve questions that a man should ask the woman he has decided to marry; and ten questions a woman should ask the man she decides to marry. These twenty-two questions cover the rights and responsibilities of spouses, the observance of which is the key to a happy family life.
Questions a man should ask a woman:
Questions a woman should ask a man:
These four words are the nightmares of all women who date unfree men.
These four words are the nightmares of all women who date unfree men. More precisely, these are the answers to the questions that we ask ourselves if we know for sure or suspect that we are in a non-exclusive relationship with a man.
Exclusive is when you don’t doubt your man. Not even when you are planning a wedding or are already married - today, alas, there are plenty of examples of people running away from the wedding or living for years with two families. Namely, when you have no doubt...
The key word here is unfree. A man can be married, divorced and continue to live with his ex, engaged and waiting for the wedding, or searching. The point is not this, but the fact that he is not planning anything with you. This is called “unfree”. And you dream and plan a future with him.
At first everything looks good. You go to restaurants and cinemas, start dating at home or somewhere else, you have amazing sex. But at some point you realize something is going wrong. You can even spend weekends and travel together. And still something worries you. In the subcortex, someone in a vile voice asks terrible questions and gives them even more terrible answers, from which you wake up in a cold sweat.
Thousands of women who find themselves in relationships with unfree men dream about these four answers at night.
Yes, honey, I'm married.
No, honey, I'm not going to leave my family.
No, honey, we can't meet more often. And we also cannot spend holidays together, go to public places and meet your or my friends.
Yes, dear, when I said relationships, I meant sex. And some fun for dessert.
Everything that will be said after - of great importance does not have. They may promise you gifts (“just tell me what you want, I’ll buy you everything”), set deadlines for divorce (“as soon as the youngest graduates from school, we’ll immediately apply”), console and appeal to true love(“after all, everything is real with you, and nothing connects me with her”). It's all nonsense.
Your man is not free and you should not hope for a happy and long life together with him.
He is already acting dishonestly towards you and most likely will continue to do so.
What would seem simpler? Why can’t we ask the right questions during the first or second meeting? It's so obvious and so simple.
No, it's not easy.
Firstly, we are afraid to ask a man about what is important to us, because we are subconsciously afraid to hear exactly these answers.
Secondly, our relationships go through several stages of natural development, and at each of them some questions are appropriate, while others are premature. In order not to rush things and not to put pressure on your partner, you need to ask questions on time and know what exactly is worth asking.
Third, under the influence of a partner’s arguments or due to inexperience in life, we may consider the existing model of relationships to be normal and simply not know that there are others.
From this place - tadam! - read carefully. I don’t encourage you to immediately ask a man all these useful analytical questions as soon as you met and he invited you for coffee. Then he will most likely run away. And I think it’s pointless to start detective investigations with calls at odd hours, peeking at his phone, and so on.
It is enough to know that any relationship goes through several stages, each of which has its own question. These questions move your relationship forward, either toward development or toward closure. Your task is to understand what stage you are at and ask the right question. Get an answer. And then make your own decision.
The reasons why relationships break up are often because we go through stages and don't ask the right questions or ask them too early. The secret is that you need to get an answer to the relevant question at the end of the stage, and not delay with questions until “after the wedding,” which may not happen.
So, what are these stages of relationship development?
Stage 1. Interest/attraction. You have just met, you want to please, to captivate a man with you and your world. You don't know if he's right for you yet, but you don't want to miss out on a potential candidate, especially if he looks promising.
Your question #1: “Are you married?”
Your actions: If you received the answer “Yes, dear, I’m married,” then it’s better to pick up your feet, finish your coffee and, with a sweet smile, part with the potential candidate forever. Married men, by definition, cannot be promising. One divorce procedure will take time, nerves and require a lot of money. You can’t marry them without problems, you shouldn’t have children with them, because the child needs a dad every day, not on Sundays. No? Don't you think so? Then get ready for problems.
Stage 2. Doubts. You've been dating for some time now and know quite a lot about each other. You like the man more and more, but you haven’t decided for yourself whether this is the man you want to be with for the rest of your life. You are not satisfied with this or that. You may have other boyfriends whom you keep as an “alternate airfield.” Let's face the truth - your man also has such “alternate airfields”. You don’t know what stages those other relationships are at; you know little about them. But if you continue to deny reality, it will definitely come out later. It's time to ask the next question.
Your question #2: “Are you ready to break up with others? Option – “Are you ready to leave your family?”
Your actions: If you received any other answer other than “Yes, dear, I’m ready,” then it’s better to break up. Don’t fall for comforting phrases that you just have to wait a year or two until your eldest/junior graduates from school, enters a university, gets married, until your mother-in-law moves to the dacha in the summer, and so on. Run.
Please note that the fact that your man is ready to break up with others does not mean that he will become yours. To do this, you need to move to the next stage.
Stage 3. Exclusive relationship. At this stage, you can really sing the old song “I'm the only one in your soul” in the shower. You live together or spend a lot of time together, so there is not even a physical place for another woman in your partner’s life. Ok, ok, you will object to me that you can’t do it for a long time, but we don’t even consider options for quick lunch sex. However, it's time to take a mental audit of your day and understand what exactly you do together. Are you visiting your friends? Do you go to the theater? Are you visiting relatives? Are you renovating your future apartment? Or instead of all this, do you still meet in a rented apartment or hotel, have sex and order pizza to your home? If this is the case, then you have not moved to the stage of an exclusive relationship - at any opportunity your man will disappear. This is not so much about the exclusivity of sex (although this is implied by definition), but about your place in the life of a particular man. If you want to make sure you're in an exclusive relationship, ask your man a tricky question.
Your question No. 3: “We will be with you... (and then list everything you want to do with him - go to the theaters, go to relatives’ birthdays, hang out at parties, barbecue at your friends’ dacha, and so on)?”
Your actions: If you received the answer “No, honey, we won’t ... and then all of the above is listed, break up. This is not your man. He is stuck in the previous comfortable stage, and will leave as soon as someone with whom he wants to be in an exclusive relationship appears. That's when he will do #that's all.
After this, your relationship reaches the finish line. The next stage is coming.
Stage 4. Proximity. Physical, emotional. You are actually already a couple. You live together, sleep together, have breakfast and dinner at home. You both know what you like in sex and try to satisfy each other. Conflicts, of course, arise here and there, but they are all easily resolved in bed. You both have a great time there and that’s the main thing. Do you both think so or is it just your illusions? Test them by asking your partner.
Your question number 4: “You said that you value our relationship very much and trust me completely. Did you mean sex?
Your actions: If the answer you heard was “Yes, dear, sex comes first. And a little fun for dessert” - crawl away as quickly as you can. Endorphins will run out in six months to a year and all that will remain from your relationship are photos on your smartphone mixed with bitterness and a feeling of loss.
The practical benefits of all this are as follows.
1. Determine what stage your relationship is currently at.
2. Analyze whether you successfully completed the previous stages? Were the questions asked that needed to be asked? If not, ask these questions and then act in accordance with the answers received.
3. If your relationship is not progressing, identify where you are stuck and admit it. Ask a stage-appropriate question. And if your relationship has not progressed further, think about it, maybe it’s time to end it? Don't build sand castles and waste time.
The formula “YES-NO-NO-YES” describes a failed relationship with an unfree man. Change it for another one. The “NO-YES-YES-NO” formula at least opens up other possibilities for you in a relationship.
Invest your time and energy in a man with whom you can build a future and be happy with him.
ENGAGEMENT OR WHAT QUESTIONS SHOULD BE ASKED TO YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND When a guy and a girl want to get married, they sometimes only think about how they will enjoy each other, how someone will make them happy, fulfill their wishes and solve problems. But there are very important, but not very romantic things that you should pay attention to even before the wedding. Although they often don’t think about this at all, entering into marriage on the basis of some sentimental considerations - we will understand each other, why think about it now. Each of us has our own picture of an ideal family drawn in our heads, which we certainly want to recreate in real life. But in reality it turns out that expectations are not met almost completely, because we did not know what to expect, we did not ask about it in advance. After all, creating a family must be treated very responsibly. These are serious changes in our lives - a lot will change and will never be the same again, especially with the advent of children. And the time before the wedding is precisely that precious period of time that needs to be spent on clarifying exactly those issues that we, as a rule, run into almost immediately after throwing the wedding bouquet. It all depends on our seriousness, our focus in family life. If we just want to show off in a chic white dress for a day or two, receive a lot of gifts and go on a trip, and then just have a nice time together in the evenings, then of course, you shouldn’t strain yourself too much and ask your future husband about your life together in the near future - how will it work out, if anything, we can get a divorce. But if it is important for you to live a conscious family life and create a strong family, then I highly recommend finding out the main points from your future husband, asking him a few questions, without answers to which family life will be a dark forest through which you will have to grope. The most important points in family life that are subject to detailed discussion are: - Children! Do both spouses want to have children? If yes, when exactly is this planned? And how many children would each spouse want? It seems that it is natural that children will be born in a family. After all, this is what it is created for. But everyone may have their own ideas on this issue. Some people love and want as many children as possible, others agree to only have one child at most, and still others cannot even imagine that a little person could appear in their life who needs to be taken care of for 30 years. Therefore, the issue of children must be clarified before the wedding, because we cannot even imagine what our chosen one’s opinion on this matter might be. One of my friends, having gotten married, was completely shocked that when she started talking about children six months after the wedding, her husband calmly told her that he did not plan to have children. Any arguments, requests, scandals, hysterics did not convince him one bit to change his point of view on this issue. Then she decided to get her mother-in-law to help her convince her husband not to deprive his mother of the opportunity to have grandchildren. But the mother-in-law, looking at her, said: “Why do you need this? Enjoy your life! I didn’t want to have children either, but that’s what happened. And I, of course, love my son, but I don’t advise you to condemn yourself and my son to such a life.” As a result, this couple divorced. Now they have different families. And she has three children, but he never decided to become a father. But if they had discussed this issue before the wedding, then there would have been no talk of an alliance at all. Although, unfortunately, sometimes it seems to us that a person can change his mind after the wedding or we will be able to convince him, but practice shows that not many managed to do this. - Money! You need to find out whether your spouse wants you to work after marriage. For some men it is very important that their wife does not work, but for others, on the contrary, that she works. There are, of course, those for whom you will work anyway or not. But it’s still worth finding out this issue in advance so that there are as few unpleasant surprises as possible. It is equally important to ask how the family budget will be distributed and who will manage it. Money is a very strong energy and, naturally, whoever has the greatest concentration controls the family. Therefore, if you want your husband to be the head of the family, then you should think about letting him manage the money. But again, you need to approach this issue very seriously and try to discuss all the nuances that interest you. I know a lot of cases where, as they say, “a scythe found a stone” in this very place. One of my friends really wanted to quit her unloved job after getting married. Her future husband was a foreigner and after completing all the documents, she finally quit and went to live with him. Her plans were to sit at home for a year or two, take a little break from the hated work, think and, after looking around, choose something she liked, but her husband said that his wife had to work and he simply couldn’t imagine being a housewife next to him. A few days after the wedding, she had to go to work, and the first one she came across, so as not to create a conflict in the family. Although it is possible that if she had talked to her future husband in advance, she would have won him over over time, because engagement is the time when we can set our own conditions, with minimal damage to the relationship. After the wedding, “downloading your license” is already fraught with serious complications for the relationship. After the wedding, you need to look for other ways to influence a man, more delicate ones. - Housing! The place where the young family will live should be determined before the wedding. If one of the spouses wants to live with their parents or in another city, this must be agreed upon in advance. You shouldn’t shock your husband that you don’t want to move out with your mother, because it’s so convenient to live with her. It is also necessary to discuss the level of comfort of housing, i.e. reduce your general expectations and capabilities to some common denominator. Ideally, of course, a girl should accept the level of comfort that her future husband can give her. This is one of the most important laws of a happy family life. Therefore, it is worth finding out in what place and at what cost you will have to create family comfort and build a family nest. - Relatives! It is very important for both young people to get to know their future relatives better. Because you still have to deal with them and very often. As they say in the East, a man marries not only a girl, but also all her relatives. It is also worth discussing how often you will visit your parents and how often they can come to you. It’s just that one of the spouses may think that their mother can live at their house for weeks without disturbing anyone, while another may be frightened by the thought that a stranger will spend the night at their house. - Parenting! When children are born, many questions immediately arise about their upbringing, education, nutrition, etc., at least some of which should be clarified before the arrival of new family members. When my husband and I got married, we both didn't want our children to go to school. kindergarten. We wanted to educate them ourselves and instill in them those principles that are close to us and our position in life. But imagine if our opinions on this issue differed radically! We would constantly quarrel over this and demand one - one thing, the other - another. Also, for example, if one of the spouses is a vegetarian and the other is not, then it is necessary to discuss how their children will eat. This is important because it will at least make it a little clearer what you should prepare for in the future. Although opinions can change in any direction... - Religion! If you and your future husband are from different religious denominations, then you need to find out how things will be in this area after the wedding. Of course, when a woman gets married, she accepts her husband’s way of life and the religious views that her husband adheres to, but if the issue of religion is fundamental for you, then it must be discussed. Also, before the wedding, there may be moments that may seem suspicious to us in the life philosophy or behavior of our chosen one, and we should pay special attention to them, otherwise after the wedding they can grow into global insurmountable problems that will be either very difficult or even impossible to resolve . Starting a family is not a sentimental romantic adventure, it is a responsible, serious decision that can change our lives for both the better and the worse. Natalia Bogdan