How to be successful in life. Psychology of success

Everyone at least once asked himself the question: “How to achieve success in life and career?”. How do people achieve outstanding success in school, work, business, personal relationships, and in any other endeavor?

The answer to this question is that they have a special thinking, knowledge and most importantly, they operate!

As one of the sages very accurately noted that some people have achieved success only because they began to strive for it before you. Everyone has a choice - to be successful or unsuccessful, rich or poor, happy or unhappy. And everyone makes his choice throughout his life!

In today's article, I want to give not just empty tips on how to succeed in life, but clear ways / methods of successful people with which you will achieve everything that you could not even dream of before.

These methods helped me a lot to start and achieve really impressive results in a short period of time.

By the end of the article, you will be able to choose a specific method (strategy) that suits you and start planning your life and succeed!

So how do you become successful in life and achieve your goals?

Many of us do not have clear life goals and priorities. Often we cannot say “NO” to certain people and things. We do not know our strengths and weaknesses. We have no control over our energy and often scatter it aimlessly. We are constantly afraid of something.

At the heart of success lies the right self-organization (self-management) And motivation. All success depends on it!

Self-organization (self-management) means competence, one's personal and professional development, regardless of external circumstances. Part of self-organization is time management, or in simple words, time management.

Peter Drucker, perhaps one of the most important self-government writers of the 20th century, said that we live in an era of unprecedented personal and professional opportunity.

However, these opportunities require taking responsibility for your development and personal maturity. On this subject, Peter Drucker says:

• You must become both a leader and a subordinate for yourself, in other words, on the one hand, you must be able to set the right goals and objectives, organize your time, and, on the other hand, follow your plan and complete the planned tasks.
• Throughout your life, you must remain inquisitive and productive.
• In order to do things well, you must maintain a deep awareness of yourself.
• You need to know what skills you have and where you can best apply them.

The ultimate goal of self-organization is for us to consciously take our daily work into our own hands.

This also includes: planning, organization, motivation and goal setting.

To be successful in life, you must:

• organize yourself better
• plan your tasks
• prioritize and of course
• always be motivated.

Summarizing:
it is essential that you make the most effective decisions.

It would seem that such simple tips, however, it is hard work. Scientists say: every day we take over 20,000 solutions , most of them within seconds. It's pretty hard to imagine!

Especially in the course of work, we again and again find ourselves in situations in which we must make decisions quickly. In this state, under the pressure of lack of time, we are 60 percent of the time.

Start with one goal

How can you set your goals?

First steps:

• Your target must be clearly defined.
  The path to achieving the goal is often not easy. Therefore, you must set clear goals and be able to make decisions more spontaneously and improvise. Too rigid planning does not allow it.
• Don't be a slave to your purpose.
  It sounds harsh, but there are people who stubbornly stick to a once set goal, no matter what happens to them. So it is worth admiring your perseverance, in the event that when your life circumstances change, you are able to adjust your goals or completely abandon them.
• Your Hobbies Spontaneously Shape Your Goals.
  If you value something, stand behind it with a mountain and most importantly - love it, then you do not need any other goals. In this case, you know exactly what you want to achieve.

And now let's move on to the main thing - to the strategies that will allow you to succeed in life.

The Pareto principle, named after Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923), states that We achieve 80% of all results with 20% of efforts . The remaining 20% ​​of the result requires as much as 80% of the effort from us.

In other words, often we spend a huge amount of our time and effort on things and things that really do not give any result.

This is illustrated in the following graph:

Bottom right square It's really nothing but trash. These tasks may not be performed. They are neither urgent nor important.

Lower upper square These are minor but urgent tasks. These tasks should be delegated.

Tasks that are not urgent but important (bottom left) must be entered in the calendar and later completed step by step.

Remaining tasks top left corner: urgent and important. They must be executed immediately!

Of course, it would be pointless to develop such a coordinate system for every day. The purpose of this is to internalize this principle so that you can apply it intuitively.

Which of the methods you choose to achieve the goal is your personal choice, the main thing is that it contributes to the achievement of success as much as possible.

4. We become successful and achieve our goals!

Gradually, step by step, we are moving towards success! So what is the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people?

5. Individual performance curve

People, like all other living beings, have an "internal clock", which is called biorhythms. Depending on the time of day, people are either active or relaxed.

The productivity of a single person, as a result, is not always the same throughout the day, but changes at regular intervals.

Successful activity requires a high degree of concentration and activity. So important tasks should be completed in the periods in which they are most appropriate - in terms of activity and efficiency.

Therefore, it makes sense to know your performance curve and take it into account. In order to avoid the low concentration phase during work, you should adjust your work schedule according to your performance curve.

There are 3 performance curves:

"average person""owls""larks".

5.1 The "average person" performance curve

It is suitable for most people.

Performance is strongly understood in the morning and culminates in the morning (8.00 to 11.00).

It decreases in the afternoon and noon and increases again in the evening (18:00 - 20:00).

But the morning peak performance will not be reached.

In order to use this performance curve, you must

• Schedule important work and appointments at the time of your highest level of productivity - morning
• Leave less important things and routine work for the afternoon.

5.2 "COB" performance curve

Do you fall asleep late, don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning, have no appetite and are not particularly talkative?

Then you are probably an "evening person" whose productivity curve is shifted back by 2 hours compared to the "average person".

5.3 LARKS performance curve

Are you often already tired by 21.00, but as soon as you wake up, you are already in a cheerful state and immediately ready to act?

Then, most likely, you are a lark.

Your productivity curve is shifted forward by about 1 hour compared to the average person.

In order to use your performance curve effectively, you must

• start your work day early,
• use the hour before the arrival of your colleagues to do important work in silence,
• perform routine work in the afternoon.

The diagram below should help you understand the various performance curves more clearly:

Individual performance should be observed and noted over a long period of time.

Then you can build your personal performance curve and make it the basis of your daily work.

What tasks have I completed today and what have I achieved?

Not everything always goes as easy as we would like. Therefore, you must stay motivated throughout the day.

Everyone has experienced a lack of motivation, including top managers and highly skilled athletes. Often, following your plan is exhausting, boring, or difficult. This can seriously dampen motivation.

Motivation is a necessary condition for successful work. But how to motivate your unwillingness, besides, if you are at the bottom?

Be aware of your own motives and their meaning.

Motivation is often just a matter of the right attitude.

The motivation and desire to achieve some set goal can only be found if you have a good reason for achieving this goal.

Only when a person understands the benefit of the goal and the actions associated with it, he will be able to motivate himself and work towards achieving the goals.

If the task seems strange to you to some extent or you cannot understand its meaning, then you should question this task. Try to collect all possible information about the task being performed: Why do it? What will it give me? Do I need it?

Each person is individual. For one, a vacation with his family is a great happiness, another needs the applause of the audience, while the third lives only with his car.

The first step towards self-motivation is to understand what really motivates you.

What are your personal motives for achieving the goal?

Only those who identify with daily activities have greater intrinsic motivation and, consequently, a high level of performance.
Steve Rice, an American psychologist, found in one study (Rice Profile) that there are 16 basic human needs:

motive	behavioral feature
Power	Influence, success, leadership
Independence	Freedom, Self-determination
Curiosity	Knowledge, truth, unknown
Confession	Social recognition, membership, positive self-esteem
rule	Clarity, structure, stability, good organization
picking up/ Accumulation	Ownership, accumulation of wealth
Honor	Morality, principles, integrity of character
Idealism	Social justice, decency
Social connections	Friendship, camaraderie, sociability, humor
Family	Family life, own children
Status	Reputation, public opinion, rank, social position
Struggle	Competition, revenge, aggression
Love	Beauty, sexuality, erotica, aesthetics
Food	Eat, cook, drink, enjoy
Physical activity	Motor activity, fitness, body, sport
calmness	Relaxation, emotional security, satisfaction

The better you know yourself, the better you can control yourself!

Finally

Here some advice O volume, How You you can save precious time.

Conducting a telephone conversation

• never call without a plan
• call purposefully
• allocate a certain amount of time for phone calls
• ask your partner if they have time
• get straight to the point
• think about costs
• use cheap phone call hours
• say important things for repetition
• immediately write down important information
• don't get distracted while talking

Read about how to find a well-paid job on the Internet.

Each of us has dreams. Whether big or small, they play an infinitely important role in our lives. To fulfill your dream means to become a happy and contented person. Putting goals into practice increases our self-esteem; moreover, in the process we change and become better. So whatever your dream is - to make a million dollars, to become an artist, to become a world-class athlete - don't wait. Start your journey to it right now.

Steps

Part 1

goal setting

Decide what you want. Your first step is to determine what you want to achieve. Taking enough time to become aware of your desires is an important first step towards achieving them, whether you dream of big changes in your life or of something small.

• For example, do you want to become a happier person? Learn to play a musical instrument? Succeed in sports? Get healthier? All of these are possible targets. What you want is up to you.

1. Define concepts. When you have a general idea of ​​what you want, you need to think about what exactly these goals mean to you. One and the same, at first glance, the goal is understood by two different people in completely different ways.

   • For example, if you want to become happier, you need to think about what happiness means to you. How do you imagine happy life? What exactly makes you happy?
   • This also applies to more specific targets. If your goal is to learn how to play the guitar, what exactly do you mean by that? Is it enough for you to know a few chords to play and sing at friendly parties? Or do you aspire to give concerts? As you can see, even quite a clear "play the guitar" can be interpreted in different ways.

2. Ask yourself why. It is important to think about why you are striving for your chosen goals. If you analyze your motivation, then it is possible that you will come to the desire to reconsider the goals themselves.

   • Let's go back to the same example - imagine that you dream of playing the guitar. You think about the reasons and understand: you just think that guitarists are always popular at school. Here we are not talking about love for music in general or for the guitar in particular. Therefore, it is worth stopping and asking yourself if there is another, more easy way to achieve the desired - lying, as it turned out, in the field of communication, and not art.

3. Determine if your goal is achievable. Last but not least at this stage is to understand if your goal is realistic. Sadly, not all dreams can come true. If your goal is beyond the realm of possibility, it's time for you to admit it and find a new one.

   Part 2

   Planning

   1. Have a brainstorm. When you have set a goal in general, you need to be specific and start making a plan to achieve it. A great way to take the first step is to use a technique known as "free writing". Take a piece of paper and write down any thoughts that come to your mind about the following topics:

      • your ideal future
      • Qualities you admire in others
      • What could you do better
      • Things you want to know more about
      • Habits you want to develop
      • At this step, you should fantasize and imagine all sorts of options without limiting the flow of thoughts. When you see several possibilities on paper, you can determine which ones are most important.

   2. Be specific. Once you've thought of a few goals and written down a series of ideas for achieving them, it's time to start getting specific. Use your brainstorming notes and goal definitions (we talked about them in the first part of the article). Write down specific things - what you would like to do and achieve.

      • A vague goal such as "I want to play better so I'll do my best" is less effective than "I want to be able to play my favorite song in six months". Poorly defined or vague ("do your best") goals are nowhere near as effective as accurate ones.
      • Move away from general words like "I want to become rich" and concentrate on the specific achievements that you will strive for. Instead of "I want to become rich" your goal could be "I want to learn how to make money in the stock market"; instead of "I want to play the guitar" - "I want to be the lead guitar in a rock band."
      • It's a good idea to make some more notes, trying to describe the goals in as much detail as possible.

   3. Try using the SMART method. It allows you to specify and evaluate goals. On the one hand, in English "smart" means "smart"; on the other hand, the method got its name from the first letters of the five characteristics that the goal must meet. Check if your goals are:

      • S (specific) - specific
      • M (measurable)
      • A (achievable)
      • R (relevant)
      • T (time-bounded) - having a time frame

   4. Rank your goals. Many people have multiple goals. In fact, during the brainstorming process, you may already find that you are hoping to achieve more than one goal. In this case, you should arrange them in order of importance.

      • In addition, you will be able to visualize the process of working towards achieving goals and provide yourself with additional motivation.

   5. Formulate subgoals. Most goals are easier to achieve when broken down into smaller tasks. These are the sub-goals—small intermediate goals on the way to the main one you hope to achieve.

      Identify obstacles. Finally, and this is also important, think about what obstacles may stand in your way to achieving your goals. If you think about them in advance, it will give you the opportunity to find ways to overcome them.

      • For example, you may find that guitar lessons cost more than you can currently afford. Then you will think about where to get more money, or decide to try to learn on your own with the help of a tutorial or video tutorials.

   Part 3

   Execution

   1. Make time. There are many ways to streamline the process and help you stay focused on your goal. However, in the end, achieving most goals takes a lot of time and hard work.

      • Think about how long it will take you to achieve your goal and how soon you want to achieve it. For example, you need 40 hours to master the basics of playing the guitar, and you want to achieve the result in a month. This means that you will have to practice a little more than an hour every day.
      • The issue of time cannot be bypassed. If you are really interested in achieving the goal, you will have to solve it.

   2. Get into the habit. To make it easier for you to set aside time to work towards your goal, make it part of your regular routine. Include her time in your daily schedule.

      • For example, from 18:00 to 18:30 you play scales. Then from 18:30 to 19:00 you learn and repeat chords. Finally, you dedicate 15 minutes between 7:00 pm and 7:30 pm to gradually learn a particular song. If you get into the habit of doing this every day (or at least every other day), you will quickly master the basics of playing any musical instrument.

   3. Track your progress. Once you've started working towards a goal, keep track of how you're progressing. Keep a diary, use an electronic application or a desktop calendar to record time spent, subgoals achieved, and the like.

      Stay motivated. One of the biggest challenges of achieving a goal, especially a long-term one, is staying motivated. Breaking it down into small achievable subgoals and tracking daily progress can help. However, you may need additional reinforcements.

   • Be true to yourself. The achieved goal will not be your joy if you did things to achieve it that you are by no means proud of.
   • Do not forget the words of the wise Lao Tzu: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
   • Write! Writing empowers thoughts. Even if no one but you sees them, writing down your goals will help reinforce your intentions.
   • Other people who are striving to achieve goals, even different ones from yours, can be of great support to you. Communicate with them regularly. If you don't have one in person, try joining an online community where people set goals and report back to others on how they achieve them.

   Warnings

   • Things don't always go the way you planned. Stick to your goals, but be flexible. Often things turn out differently than you expect, but not necessarily worse. Be receptive to change.
   • Do not try to insert a square plug into a round hole. If something doesn't work or doesn't seem right, try a different approach.
   • Try to set yourself the right pace. Often people on the way to a new goal at first devote a lot of time and energy to it, but then they lose their fuse. Beginner enthusiasm is always great, but don't set the tempo too high initially and you won't be able to keep up that tempo for a long time.

   Sources

   1. McGregor, I., & Little, B. R. (1998). Personal projects, happiness, and meaning: on doing well and being yourself. Journal of personality and social psychology, 74(2), 494.
   2. Brunstein, J. C. (1993). Personal goals and subjective well-being: A longitudinal study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65, 1061–1070.

Today I decided to list my personal life principles on how to achieve my goal. I try to stick to them, whether it works or not... well, I try. 🙂

Perhaps someone has their own experience, and I would love to hear it, so feel free to comment. It is not only about achieving goals in work, but in general, in life. Creativity, personal life, sports, parenting, whatever. In my opinion, the most important thing is not to burn out in the flame of enthusiasm at the beginning and not get stuck in a swamp of routine later. So, let's begin.

1. Ignore criticism. There is no useful criticism, no matter who says what. The assessment of another person, even if authoritative and competent, is only a subjective opinion. No one appreciates your work better than you. Be demanding of yourself: if you admit that everything turned out well and you are not ashamed of what you are doing, then this means that the chosen direction is the right one.

Do not argue with critics, do not try to justify your position - this dilutes attention and brings doubts. “Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your inner voice,” said Steve Jobs, and he was a thousand times right.

2. Study other people's experiences. Someone might think that this point contradicts the previous one, but it is not. Other people's experience is a source of invaluable knowledge and inspiration, but know how to use it. Don't take on everything you learn: only seek advice when you really need it. Specific advice - its specific implementation in your work. No knowledge for the future - without immediate practice, they are not only useless, but harmful.

3. Do only what gives you real pleasure.. Make sure that your favorite work brings money at least for food, but do not stop thinking about how to increase your professional level and income. If you are persistent and consistent, sooner or later you will achieve what you want. There are no areas where a real specialist could not earn. Passion for what you do and sincere interest is a reinforced concrete battering ram that nothing can resist.

4. Don't get into theory until you've got at least some basic practice. Do not drag tons of information into your head about the subject you are going to do. Don't go to seminars for people who teach things they've never done professionally. Don't ask the billionaire for secrets about how he made his first million, ask Vasya how he opened his first stall.

Someone may say something like: if you want to make a million, you need to earn a million. This is nothing more than a beautiful phrase, in fact, behind every million there are "stalls". Get a job in the field in which you are going to do business - even the smallest practice is worth a lot of theory.

5. Think of the movement towards the goal not as a decisive battle, but as a long war. Many mistakenly consider the achievement of the goal as a result, but in fact it is a continuous process. It is impossible to get what you really want with one single effort of will and strength. A high jump is preceded by a run, but in the standings we will not see how fast the athlete ran, we will only see the height of the jump. Someone's success seems like a well-defined plan, whereas before that there was a long series of throwing, failures and failed projects, which allowed them to gain experience.

The Rovio company, which earned millions on Angry Birds, is seen by many as an example of super-success: the guys gathered, wrote the game and the next day they woke up rich and famous. In fact, there were six years of hard work before the birds, when Rovio released other games that did not find much popularity. And only knowledge and experience led them to a real breakthrough.

The process of moving towards the goal is cyclical, the next stagnation is actually the accumulation of experience, which, like a straightened spring, will allow you to go to a higher level. Do not be afraid to lose a single battle, never despair, think strategically and remember one thing: "I will achieve my goal."

6. Don't look for an original idea. When “business coaches” inspire their wards that it makes no sense to do what other people have already implemented, but you need to look for some kind of unoccupied niche that will allow you to instantly get rich, then they simply say what they want to hear from them. People are very pleased to think that somewhere in the information field of the planet there are fundamentally new ideas that you just need to think of, and then it's all in the bag.

In fact, all ideas that seem to come from nowhere to an outside observer are the result of the development of someone's experience and knowledge. Nothing comes from the void new idea always appears on the basis of practice. The concept of the iPhone emerged during the development of the iPad, as a result of the experience and intuition of Steve Jobs and his team. Newton discovered his law of gravity not because an apple fell on his head, but because he constantly thought about this topic.

If you want to spend your life dreaming about the great, keep looking for a super idea. If you want to achieve something, start small. Study the usual average examples, because if they work for their owners, they can work for you. More practice, less ambition.

If you want to change your life, follow my example and get on a bike. The world will show itself from the other side. Check out the section ""

7. Do not change direction at the first setbacks. Some time after the start of any activity, the main charge of enthusiasm ends, and it will certainly seem to you that the chosen niche is not the most profitable, the direction is a dead end, and so on. It may seem that you are not suitable for this lesson, that there is no progress and there will not be.

Categorically stop the attempts of the psyche to disperse attention to many objects. Do not panic, endure and continue in the same direction. You need to go through at least a few cycles of enthusiasm / apathy in order to gain real experience about your niche and understand how to achieve your goal here. You will rush from one idea to another - nothing will turn out at all.

8. Look not only up, but also to the sides. It happens that after a long time you really understand that you will not be able to succeed in your field. There is no talent, there is not enough time, and most importantly, there is no desire anymore. In this case, you should not give up everything that you have worked out, but you just need to look around and see where else you can apply your knowledge.

One of my friends, tired of two decades of teaching at school, went to free bread as a tutor. She did exactly what she liked, studied psychology in depth and sincerely fell in love with her new occupation. As a result, within a few years, her income skyrocketed compared to her school salary, and enrollment in her classes was only possible on a huge line. This is a great example of looking around when there seems to be no way up.

9. Don't regret the past, don't worry about the future. You should never think about what happened or vice versa did not happen. Yes, almost every person understands that if he had done something differently, then now everything would be completely different. This is fine. This is exactly the experience I talk about all the time. It doesn't matter - you can't change this, and as practice shows, you won't even be able to draw a conclusion. You will probably step on the same rake again.

The same with the future. What's the point of taking care of him, making detailed plans, counting every step. All the same, all these developments will collapse at the first collision with reality. All planning should come from daily practice, as a reaction to what is happening. The overall plan should not be unshakable, never drive yourself into a framework.

10. Envy successful people. Strange advice, isn't it? 🙂 In fact, it is very useful if used constructively. I don't believe in white or black envy, it's just different shades of the same emotion. Any person, when he sees a more successful competitor, will experience a pang of envy - this is a normal human reaction. It is necessary not to restrain this feeling, but to direct it in the right direction. Carefully study your competitors, understand what they are doing, who and what helps them, analyze which of their methods can work in your business.

11. Use every day. A very important rule that almost everyone neglects. I can judge from my own experience that the achievement of a goal is usually perceived as a kind of brainstorming, the mobilization of all forces and will. All this is accompanied by a powerful outburst of enthusiasm. Everything around is in full swing, the work is burning in the hands, but ... after a while, apathy comes, disbelief that the result is generally achievable.

So, instead of gushing out with enthusiasm, moving mountains, immediately set yourself up that, in addition to all the feats, you are required to perform daily part of some kind of routine work. And then, when the exploits in the workplace come to naught, then these small steps will take you to the goal, sooner or later. For example, if you are writing a book and you have an idea for another, much more ingenious one, then in addition to many hours of thinking, do not forget to write a few chapters of the old one, even if now it seems boring and uninteresting to you. If you quit, then exactly the same thing will happen with a new book.

12. Don't expect 100 percent completion. How often people refuse to realize their desires just because they, as it seems to them, are not yet ready. Analyzing my experience, I can say that everything that I did in my life, I did it being unprepared for it. If doubts come to you about readiness, then just brush them aside. A person sitting in one place is not able to understand whether he is ready or not. Almost always, what you thought up for yourself “on the shore” turns out to be very far from what is “at sea”.

There is no complete readiness and there cannot be, especially when it comes to the implementation of ideas. Here I can only quote the motto of a person I respect very much, Richard Branson: "To hell with everything, take it and do it." That's right - take it and do it, do not think whether you are ready or not. You will understand in the process. Otherwise, you will sit and wait. All life.

13. Admit your shortcomings, but don't let them take over. We must honestly admit our weaknesses, but this does not mean that they can be indulged. If you are lazy, then the worst thing you can do is say: “yes, it’s true, nothing will help me, I won’t achieve anything.” On the contrary, if you are pathologically lazy, strain your brain to automate routine work or push it to someone else.

Aggressive, easily go berserk - go in for amateur sports. There you will not only be able to get discharge, but also achieve some results, thanks to these negative qualities. If you have a bad memory - train, learn languages. Unlike a person with a normal memory, who would never even think of sitting down for textbooks, you will somehow be able to speak in a foreign language if you persevere.

14. Don't reject other people's experiences for personal reasons.. There is an opinion that there are some "unethical" methods used by mlm-schiki, nlp-shniks, "black" businessmen, etc. This is all nonsense - there is a tool, and how to use it, the person chooses. You should not brush aside the experience of all these sectarians, if only because it really works. Under the external “gypsyism” there is a lot of psychology: no one has more practice, how to train yourself for a result, how to subordinate other people to your goal.

Look closely at any working methods, try to understand how they work. The human psyche is the same everywhere, whether grandmothers sell dietary supplements or sell limousines to the rich. You can always apply something in your own specifics, you should not neglect such an experience just because its carriers cause bad feelings in you.

15. Think. Perhaps this item should have been put in the first place, but let it be the way it is. Unfortunately, most of the time in work is devoured by routine and turnover, so we have almost no opportunity to think about our business. And this is very important: we need to constantly think about what we are doing, analyze, compare with competitors, look for new facets.

If you constantly think in the right direction, then new thoughts will surely appear, and then you yourself will be surprised that you walked side by side for so long and could not think of it. And everything is simple - a modern person very, very rarely consciously uses his brain, acting daily according to the action-reaction scheme. The brain tunes in to work according to a pattern, and filters all ideas so as not to stray from the rhythm.

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Every person wants to be successful. Success brings self-satisfaction to people, increases self-esteem, fills life with meaning. Everyone has their own concept of success. One dreams of creating his own company, the other - to be the best wife and mother, the third - to get a position in the state apparatus.

No matter what the goal is, the path to success is the same for everyone. There are peculiar rules, steps, steps that will lead to the success that you want.

What does success look like?

Personal qualities of a successful person

A successful person is considered to be a person who was able to fulfill himself, otherwise he achieves his goal and enjoys his own life.

A successful person lives his own life, goes his own way, sets goals and achieves them. No one will say that such a path is easy - it requires constant movement, growth, work. It is impossible to avoid difficulties, troubles, disapproval - it is important not to give up and move on.

There is one indisputable truth for everyone: everyone can succeed. What is needed for this?

There are qualities that lead to the achievement of goals:

• self confidence;
• diligence;
• optimism;
• perseverance;
• resistance;
• positive thinking.

Psychologists say: if a person has at least 2 qualities from the list, he is able to achieve everything.

It is advisable to think positively and avoid thoughts that hinder progress.

What thoughts hinder growth?

"I must". No one owes anything to anyone - everything that a person does, he does for himself and of his own free will, even if in order to achieve the goal he has to limit himself in something or give up something.

"I can not do it". It’s always worth trying, if it didn’t work out right away, you can collect information, study, ask for advice, etc. The second or third attempt will be successful.

"I do not want anything". Lack of positive desires and goals is a road to nowhere. Wishing and striving are the first steps to success.

"Everything as usual; nothing new". Life is changing every moment, even against our will. Why not try to change it to your liking?

Listen to your heart.

Does it really sound like a fairy tale? Nevertheless, all successful people claim that they have achieved success by doing their favorite thing, to which they give themselves without a trace.

Only by doing what the heart lies in, you can reach heights.

Michael Jordan

"Success comes when a person adore something and does everything with true passion."

Take action.

No matter what and how to do it, it is important not to lie on the couch. Start small. Master the business that you have long wanted to learn, do what you have long dreamed of or what you have been putting off for a long time. A Chinese proverb says, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."

Don't drown in the past.

You need to forget about past failures, insults and mistakes and move forward without looking back. Louise Hay writes: "The starting point of power is always in the present moment." No matter how many failures there were in the past, there is no need to be afraid of mistakes and failures.

Donald Trump

“There is no need to sit on failure, as if on ashes. Learned a new lesson, learned it, and move on.”

Think positive.

Donald Trump

“Our own thoughts determine whether we stay afloat or remain in a quagmire of whining. It's not always possible to keep up. That's life. Everyone falls, but you have to get up.”

Faith in your abilities works wonders. Believe also that the whole world is on your side. As he says Louise Hay,

“Trust is an instant process, a leap to nowhere”/

Just believe that you are the darling of fate, whom she is ready to shower with all the blessings.

Do not be ungrateful - thank life for everything that it gives: health, loved ones, wonderful weather, work, a new dawn. Every day give thanks to life for everything you have – and appreciate it.

What qualities and actions distinguish a successful person?

1. Self-sufficiency. A successful person does not depend on the opinions of others, he is the master of his own happiness. No matter what everyone around you thinks, self-esteem comes from within.

2. The ability to forgive. Forgiveness frees both the offender and the offended. The resentment released will not devour from the inside, nurturing diseases and complexes. But do not forget anything - do not give anyone a second chance to offend you.

3. The ability to save your strength. Do not waste yourself to the end in a momentary struggle. Sometimes you can retreat and gain strength for the next battle.

4. The best is the enemy of the good. You don't have to be perfect, perfectionism leads to neuroses and chronic diseases. Do what you can. Next time will be better.

5. Don't live in the past. The ability to part with the past, forgive others and yourself is a step towards a happy future.

6. Ability to be distracted. You don't need to live only by Deed, Work. Successful Oleg Tinkov says: "Work to live, but not live to work." You need to find time for yourself and for loved ones.

7. The ability to say "no". A successful person knows how to say no. Following other people's desires leads to failure, stress and depression.

8. Goodwill. Fact: the more a person has achieved, the more friendly and polite he is to everyone. No matter what the social status of the interlocutor - a successful person will be polite and humane. Anger is the lot of losers.

Try to listen carefully and "hear" the interlocutor, do not interrupt and give the opportunity to speak. Take an interest in the affairs and problems of others. Let it be difficult at first - skill and sincerity will come with time. Try it, you will be surprised how many prospects will open before you the goodwill and participation of others.

Owen Young (writer):

“A person who knows how to put himself in the place of another, accept his way of thinking, can not worry about his future.”

Be friendly to everyone, even during telephone conversations, and especially to loved ones.

9. External attractiveness. It is not necessary to look like a model, it is enough to be neat and well-groomed. It is hard to believe in the success of a person who has unkempt clothes, dirty hair and sloppy nails.

Take care of yourself with pleasure, make an effort to please yourself first of all.

How to Succeed in Business

Successful businessmen openly share the secrets of their victories. Bill Gates has developed and promotes his own rules, which are adopted by companies around the world.

1. Know your competitors. Every morning Gates begins with studying the sites of competitors.

2. The future belongs to the Internet. Only companies that are online will remain in business.

3. Decisiveness and composure. Gates calls for the courage to face adversity. It's easier to solve a problem by keeping a cool head.

4. You need to create better working conditions for your subordinates - this is the only way to achieve reciprocity.

Oleg Tinkov is of the opinion that one should work in order to live, and not vice versa. A successful businessman knows how to take a break from work and enjoy his life.

Sometimes it seems that the work absorbs entirely and does not leave a single minute. You don't have to drown in work. Dale Carnegie advises:

"Do your thing, drop by minute."

Gradually, the blockage of cases will dissolve. You don't need to think about the whole mass of work, start with something. As they say, the eyes are afraid, but the hands do something.

Successful people are doing what they love. Every person has a dream that, when realized, brings success. Walt Disney was considered a funny dreamer. I wonder who would want to laugh at him today?

It is important to set a goal and overcome laziness, apathy, insecurity. And every day, even a little, go towards your goal.

Everyone is capable of being successful. It is very easy to start a victorious path to happiness and well-being: listening to your own desires and setting a goal for yourself is everything. Then you just need to go every day to this goal. At the same time, enjoy every new day, do not give up and do not lose heart. And always maintain goodwill, love for others and for yourself, and believe in your lucky star.

It often seems to us that success is about someone else, and not at all about us. Successful women marry great men, have healthy kids, get good jobs, make tons of money. Apparently, they are just born lucky, and nothing can be done about it. But it's not!

Secrets of success in everything

“If you really want to, you can fly into space,” these are the words of a famous song. Success is based on inner intention. This is not just a burning desire or a thoughtful goal - it is deeper. Desires and goals are controlled by the mind, but emotions and intentions are controlled by the soul.

It's good when there is a goal and a desire - this is the first step to success (many do not even dare to take it, believing that it is a shame to wish for success). But from lying on the couch, dreaming of success, you need to move on to action - this is the second secret to achieving success in everything. You must be prepared to take steps in the direction you have chosen.

You must want to achieve the goal in order for your desire to turn into an intention. This is where personality barriers often arise. Most people are comfortable living the way they live. Deep down, they like to be lazy, to do nothing, because success is not only achievements, wealth and other pleasant things. Success is hard work, endless generation of ideas, failures on the way to their implementation, responsibility and many other efforts that these people do not want to undertake.

Hard work is another secret to success in everything. Think of famous successful people: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison - they all spent thousands of hours making their dreams come true. Hard painstaking work from early morning until late at night led them to this, and by no means daydreaming and lying on the couch. Of course, sometimes it was hard for them, but they overcame all obstacles thanks to the energy that their goal gave them. They saw it in perspective, were not afraid to rework it.

An important thing that underlies any successful endeavor is confidence in yourself and your goal. The universe is arranged according to the principle of saving energy and resources, and luck is the living embodiment of this idea.

But reason creates obstacles, contradictions, and perceives any deviation from the planned plan as the collapse of all hopes and gives a signal for surrender. The universe is limitless in its possibilities, and anything can happen - even a million in your bank account. Not even so - you will have it, if you are sure of it, you will start taking steps in the right direction.

What is success for you? Wealth, family, love, friendship, career, fame - all these things are more concrete than abstract success. This should be your goal - specific and positive. First, you must imagine it in all details, without thinking about how to achieve it. Then think about how you are in this future: strong, courageous, educated, cunning or analytical. These qualities you need to develop in the present in order to succeed. Finally, think about what could help you achieve your goal. The journey of a thousand steps begins with the first, so start at least a small thing that will bring you closer to the goal.

Go to study. To succeed in everything, you need a constant influx of knowledge. So read on. If you don't like reading, go to courses or lectures. If you don't like going to courses or lectures, travel. If you can not travel - communicate with different people. Look for any information on your topic, absorb it every second of your free time. There is never enough knowledge, and you never know what will be useful and what will not. Do not spare money on your education, this is the only competent and effective investment.

Become the author of your life. What is the difference between the lucky ones and the losers? The fact that they themselves create their own lives, not reconciling themselves with fate or other external circumstances. When there is an obstacle in their life, they ask themselves two questions: how and why did I do it? Try it. It will be difficult at first, but soon it will become a habit, and you will not notice how you begin to reap the first fruits of your success. The author's position in relation to life does not allow for long mournful explanations why something does not work out for you - you just have to find a way to overcome the obstacle.

How to be successful in your personal life

The strategy for finding happiness in your personal life can be aggressively assertive, or it can be soft, meek, that is, purely feminine.

In many ways, all problems in relations with men are connected with femininity, or rather, with its lack. You simply do not feel your female part, do not perceive yourself as a woman. This is manifested in such character traits as perseverance, rigidity, aggressiveness, rationality in actions, thoughts and other masculine qualities. Men simply do not see you as a woman and therefore do not want to establish a relationship.

Develop femininity. There are a lot of courses and schools dedicated to strengthening your female part. You can observe the one who is a model of femininity for you, and try to adopt her behavior: facial expressions, gestures, postures, gait. See what her actions are most “catching” men, try to do the same. How do you feel? If it's comfortable, then femininity for you is a matter of training. If not, then you should think: what prevents you from being feminine? Perhaps the point is in some attitudes that you learned in childhood, for example, “all girls are fools” or “flirting is stupid or unworthy.” Sometimes it is enough to discover such an idea and realize its inconsistency with reality, and sometimes the help of a psychologist is required.

Often, self-doubt becomes the key to failure in personal life. It happens that a woman comes to see a psychologist - she is smart, beautiful, cooks well - and she does not develop relationships with men. She does not believe that she is worthy of a man. Work on yourself in this case may take some time, because it is impossible to radically change a person’s personality in an instant.

But there is a solution: do what you are good at. Achieve small intermediate successes - they are not so noticeable, but they can give you strength and self-confidence. Come up with, or rather, find your zest. For example, you have visited different parts of the world or you know everything about the construction of a tram. Awareness of this will help you believe in your own attractiveness, and there the interest from men is just around the corner.

Many women are prevented from continuing to communicate with men by traumatic past experiences. For example, if the previous gentleman deceived you, had an affair with your girlfriend. Or for several years he resisted building a serious relationship, and then ran away to his mother. In such situations, a woman thinks: “All men are their own ...” and puts an end to her personal life. But it's not right! You need to understand the reasons for failures on the love front: it is possible that you were just unlucky, and you need to pay attention to examples of successful relationships.

However, it happens that a woman herself subconsciously chooses "the wrong men." She, of course, likes the family idyll of her friend Masha, but for some reason she herself “bites” on handsome men without a penny in her pocket and intelligible plans for the future. Here you need to realize the problem and understand what you want: family happiness, Latin American passions, insipid stability or something else. And choose such men.

Sometimes failures in personal life are connected with the fact that there is a fear of a serious relationship. And every time things start to go to them, you back down, look for flaws in your partner and proudly burn all bridges. A long-term relationship with a man is not only happiness. This is also responsibility, changes in life, the ability to compromise, emotionally invest in communication. Not everyone wants it, but someone is afraid. Then awareness is again the key to success. Only by realizing how you purposefully break relationships can you change your life for the better. Accept difficulties as inevitable and find a way to cope with them.

Understanding male nature is another important condition for success in your personal life. You can not approach men the same way as women - they are different. They have a different mindset, life priorities, they react differently to everything that happens to them. Men are hunters by nature, they like the process of wooing and conquering a woman. Therefore, girls who have “looking for a partner” written on their foreheads may have problems on the love front due to availability!

Or let's take another example. A woman tells her partner a story about an evil boss, and instead of feeling sorry for her, he begins to give some advice. Men are so arranged that they try to immediately find a solution to the problem. It is not customary for them to support, sympathize with each other. The result of such a contradiction between the sexes is alienation or rupture of relations in the near future. The way out is in the ability to understand and feel each other. Then success in your personal life will not be long in coming.

How to Succeed at Work

The status of a beloved wife is far from being the limit of all dreams for everyone. Since the middle of the twentieth century, we have the same rights as men. And the right to work, building a career too. Career growth has long been considered a male privilege, and aggressively assertive men's style behavior is appropriate in this matter. But you can combine it with a purely female ability to establish contacts, and then you will have no equal in the professional field.

The secret of career success is the ability to interact with other people. In any work, properly organized communication is up to ninety percent effective. You simply have to be able to find a common language with different people: noisy, quiet, smart, stupid, quick-tempered, calm. Of course, if professional self-realization is important to you. This skill is based on understanding, acceptance of other people as they are, and this is already a certain personal maturity.

Intolerance arouses in us condemnation, which breaks the contact. Here the question arises of the effectiveness of communication: you can scold, reject the behavior of another person, but then what can you get from him? Any interaction is aimed at achieving some goal, and if you cannot get along with a partner, failure and failure await you as a result. Not the most joyful prospect! Communication skills can be developed in psychological training, but life itself provides the most interesting material for learning.

Think about what position will become a symbol of success for you. What do you need to get it? Often this turns out to be a lack of experience and some kind of knowledge, skills, and abilities. Start learning and at the same time get the work experience you need. Statistics show that HR managers give more preference to people who have tried to do something in practice than to those who studied it at the institute. There is no need to shun the positions of assistants, assistants - this is an opportunity to become more competent and acquire the right connections.

Now the employer is trying to buy a multifunctional specialist for his money, for example, an HR manager with education in both psychology and economics. Such personnel are especially appreciated, because they can understand all the intricacies of the workflow.

For the sake of career success, you have to give up something. For example, from the opportunity to leave work at exactly six - those who worked a lot overtime reach real heights in the profession. In the process of career growth, you will most likely have to go to your goal, despite the rejection and condemnation from the outside. In our country, active energetic people are not very fond of, especially when they achieve success. Therefore, you will have to put up with sidelong glances in your address - they will be inevitable companions of success.

• Make a plan before you start doing anything. This is not a waste of time, but an attempt to structure your activities. There is a well-known metaphor: "an elephant can be eaten in pieces." Its essence boils down to the fact that when you break one big complex case into many small ones, then achieving the final goal is easier for you. Your plan should be detailed and understandable - you need to prescribe intermediate tasks and goals, their sequence, and deadlines for their implementation. It also disciplines, because when you set limits for yourself, you can no longer be lazy with the ease that you had before the plan was made.
• Use swot analysis. It is an analysis of a problem, situation or project. It includes the strengths and weaknesses of the object. This is another way of structuring a problem to get it detailed description and come out to solve it.
• Go towards other people, provide them with small services. This is a good way to make the right connections. Usually people do not forget the favors done to them by others, they want to thank them in the future. And who knows when and in what form you will need someone's help?
• Ability to receive feedback. Of course, each of us likes to listen to flattering reviews about ourselves. They bring undeniable benefits - increase our self-esteem, add self-confidence. Compliments and praises need to be able to accept correctly - you should not deny them and translate everything into a joke. On the contrary, you need to hear what the person says good about you, thank him for the feedback. But negative reviews of your work are even more helpful than positive ones. This is valuable information, and it can be given to you just like that. Therefore, when someone criticizes your work, do not be offended by him or yourself. It is better to listen carefully to what he says, and make a list of growth points for yourself.
• Keep the promises you make. A fulfilled promise will add bonuses to your karma and bring you some kind of fruit in the future. Therefore, do not take on what you cannot do, no matter how embarrassing you may be, because it will be worse later when you do not live up to the natural expectations of this person. There are situations when it is impossible to fulfill the promise, then it is your duty to warn about this in advance, to explain why everything failed this time.
• Find your mentor. Do you remember your work experience at the institute? It is one thing when they explain something to you in theory, and quite another when you learn something in practice, and under the strict guidance of a person who can give you high-quality feedback. Although it happens differently when you just learn from someone whose success is an example for you. Such a person knows how to go from an idea to an achieved goal, and what pitfalls await you.
• Look for fresh ideas. You should not sit and wait for something good to fall on your head - you have to get off the couch yourself, find it, and if it doesn’t work out, then do it yourself. The likelihood of finding something worthwhile increases if you are constantly on your guard on the Internet, brainstorming, reading autobiographies of famous people, at worst.

How to reach your goal quickly

People who know how to achieve their goal claim that to achieve it you need:

• Perseverance.
• Diligence.
• Optimism.
• Self confidence.
• Persistence.
• Positive thinking.

Not all of us have all these qualities. All of them help in building a career and in personal life. However, it is enough to have at least two of them, so that later, realizing that the goal is real, develop the rest in yourself. It is only necessary to realize that nothing is impossible, if we set ourselves some kind of goal, then we have the opportunity to achieve it.

One of the conditions for achieving goals is to erase from your head the memories of the past, regrets about something that was not done before. It is impossible to go back to the past and change something. And memories that evoke feelings take away from us the strength that is sorely needed when we, achieving success, are determined to hold on to the end.

The next condition for successful pursuit of your goals is to stop getting upset over trifles, whining, complaining about the lack of a career or success in your personal life, believing that neither one nor the other comes out. If something doesn’t work out for us, it means that the time has come to comprehend new knowledge or skills.

The Benefits of Fear

Oddly enough, but fear - effective remedy to perform actions equivalent to feats. He opens up sources of power in us that we didn't even know existed. Recall the well-known story of a mother who was able to move and hold a multi-ton truck, saving her child from death. What gave a fragile woman the opportunity to lift an unimaginable weight? Fear for my son. And what allows a thin boy to fight back when he is attacked by a drunken company? Fear for your life. Finally, what drives another already successful person to tell himself "Succeed Again" and move on? The same fear of losing authority and comfort.

Conclusion: if we lack perseverance or self-confidence, we need a “kick” in the form of fear. This is a magical, if not particularly pleasant way to achieve effective results. Each of us in a critical situation can activate forces in ourselves, with the help of which, on the way to the goal, we can simply sweep away all obstacles without even noticing them. If we are looking for ways to achieve success in life, we are ready to get out of the annoying zone of inertia, but we don’t dare to do this, we need to consciously look for motivations for fear.

The purpose of such motivations is to cause fear of inaction, to force a person to perform actions that are atypical for him. Motivations are based on the principle: “I’m scared, I have to do something, because no one will do it better than me!” This is how we create a very powerful stimulus to action, and, having taken some steps under the influence of fear, having won, we eventually gain self-confidence and cease to be afraid of far-fetched difficulties.

Fear can be used as an effective technique to achieve goals. There is one problem: not each of us will consciously seek motivation for it.

To achieve significant life changes, some actions of a global scale are not required. Even small steps can bring results. The meaning of these steps is to change your attitude to life and the way you think. They consist of the following:

1. We monitor our speech, we try to remove phrases from the lexicon that can destroy our enthusiasm. We replace them with new, positive phrases. It is necessary to exclude from use such expressions as “everything is as always”, “nothing new”, “I can’t do this”, “no one needs this”, “I don’t want anything”, “I have to”. They can paralyze part of the mind, instill in us a sense of hopelessness and personal inadequacy.
2. We are looking for something in every passing day for which we can thank our fate, every day we express recognition to it for what we have already experienced, for what we have today, even for what we do not have. This will allow you not to get used to the achieved well-being and move forward. Constantly cultivating a sense of gratitude to fate, we learn to think positively, not to dwell on the failures of past years.
3. Every morning, waking up, we tell ourselves that the best day of all the days already lived begins, we try to remember this until the evening.
4. We are trying to at least a little master the area, which, as we were convinced before, is completely inaccessible to us. Discovering new abilities in oneself, each person experiences an upsurge, a surge of internal forces, irrepressible desire for action. Thanks to all this, he unconsciously finds the shortest path to success, walks along this path without tension.
5. We find our main goals by first finding out what makes us cry with joy, how we can make others smile, what these people see as our abilities, what makes us sincerely laugh, what changed us for the better, what we can work on all night long. It helps to find a goal, the achievement of which will make us truly happy.
6. Let's take it for granted that difficulties pass, and changes in life occur gradually, we will make a list of what is worth doing every day.

How to develop willpower

There are many ways to strengthen willpower, each of which is designed for specific circumstances and inclinations of a person. We will now consider five universal effective methods for developing the will.

Human willpower is not unlimited, and we try to use it, choosing the path of least resistance. When we have a poor idea of ​​​​how to succeed at work, using our willpower to the fullest, we start working for days, we will lose as a result. Willpower energy is an impulse that will flare up, push us off the spot, and then burn a little and go out.

Willpower cannot be a constant fuel. It is necessary to create a plan from a chain of events that contribute to the organization of forces and movement in the right direction with their dosed use. Performing the planned daily, we gradually accustom ourselves to the rhythm of actions, as a result, even difficult work becomes familiar, it comes easy to us.

If there is a temptation to go off the intended path to the goal, you want to quit everything, fall on the sofa until better times, we begin to think about our prospects. The best way to increase self-control is to present long-term goals and distract yourself from the temptations of the current moment. For example, we dream about how we succeed in our careers, how we occupy a good, well-paid position.

At the moment, we have the opportunity to relax on the sea, and really want to quit work, lie on the beach. However, such an act means the collapse of a career, and the future will become blurry and doubtful. Is it worth it? Hardly. Therefore, in order to destroy the temptation, we begin to think about our prospects, and interest in the object of temptation will immediately fall.

We compose a proposal that affirms the achievement of the goal, mentally repeat it as often as possible. Such repetition, stating the goal as a fait accompli, is the most effective way to strengthen willpower. How to do it? For example, if we figured out how to succeed in business, but it is tempting to spend the start-up capital on buying a car, then we can constantly repeat to ourselves: “My business is booming.” Consciousness itself will switch from the car to the problems of an existing business, and the purchase of a car will recede into the background.

Every day, at least for a few minutes, we think about our goals, directing the vector of willpower on the path to achieving them. This day-to-day thinking leaves its mark on our emotional memory, helping us choose the direction in which we will use our willpower.

Oddly enough, it will sound, but to strengthen willpower you need to have a good breakfast. This is explained by the fact that willpower is energy, the replenishment of which requires a large amount of glucose. Researchers say that a person who has been in a state of self-control for a long time has a greatly reduced blood glucose level.

An insufficient amount of it can be the reason that when you need to pull yourself together, a person simply cannot do it. Willpower must be nourished, otherwise it will dry up at the right moment. And for this, you should eat foods in the morning that allow you to maintain the desired level of glucose in the blood.

All these techniques are simple, do not require any special conditions for their implementation. This path will bring many surprises, surprises, it can change life, habits, even life values. Such changes sometimes become causes of uncertainty, misunderstanding of one's role in the circumstances. There is nothing terrible in this - we just have to adapt to the new environment, realize where our place is now.

During the adaptation period, a sense of humor, physical exercises, regular good rest, communication with friends and relatives help to reduce stress. The main thing at this time is to boldly step forward, in no case looking back. Memories of the past will give rise to doubts about the correctness of the goal, and doubts, in turn, can lead to significant losses. To prevent this from happening, you need to calmly and deeply analyze the situation in order to thoroughly know all its pluses and minuses, to get guidelines. Let's say to ourselves: "This path to the goal was chosen by me independently." And we resolutely go to it, discarding unnecessary conjectures.

What can make you a failure

If you want to be successful, you must have a firm grasp of what could limit your potential and lead to failure.

So, successful people reject:

false beliefs

These are misconceptions about external factors or about yourself. An example of a false belief is the following situation: a person does not allow himself to set a goal - "get the best job!" Instead, he thinks, "I'll never be able to get a good job, these days!" False beliefs act as a limit to your potential, and therefore your success. They can not only limit you, but they can also destroy your life.

External locus of control

This is a way of thinking that makes a person believe that everything that happens to him does not depend on him, but on some external factors. For example, when a girl says that the teacher found fault with her too much when she did not do well in the exam; or when your friend says she can't find a good job because the country is unemployed - these are all examples of an external locus of control.

Lack of stamina

What good is it that you have many virtues and valuable skills if you lost hope after the first (well, in the worst case, the second) failure? Those people who achieve the best results are the most persistent among all. They keep working until the very end, until they get what they want, even if everything was against them, even if failure overtook them many times.

Lack of flexibility

Flexibility is the ability of a person to adapt to external conditions. It is an opportunity to try something in a new way when the old, familiar way is ineffective. The more flexible you are, the more you can adapt to new conditions, the higher your chances of success.

Lack of planning

If you don't have goals or plans, then you allow yourself to become part of other people's plans. If you don't plan on becoming a leader at work, then someone else will, and if you don't plan on getting that high-paying job, then someone else will take your place. If you do not plan anything, then you will be removed from the path of purposeful people. They will occupy all the prestigious places, make money, gain fame, while you will be just a spectator, a witness to their success. Therefore, planning is an important point in achieving success!

Lack of self-confidence

If you are not confident in yourself, you will be afraid to follow some of your ideas, you will be able to give up a dream when someone tells you that this is impossible. You will avoid any risk and ignore many opportunities that could lead you to success. If you want to increase your chances of success, you must build your self-confidence brick by brick.

fears

Often the fear of failure and the fear of success interfere. While they seem to be complete opposites of each other, both of these fears can have such an effect on you that it prevents you from even trying to do anything. And whoever does nothing, of course, does not make mistakes, but he never succeeds either.

How to change your life

Number of attempts

Babies learn how to hold an object only after they have tried many wrong ways. Every time the baby tries to pick up something in his fingers and then drops the object, he learns something new about the correct way to hold it. After a certain number of attempts, the child finally learns to pick up and hold the object correctly. The same goes for any learning process. If you want to be successful, you must understand that you need to overcome failure until you find what action will work the way you want.

Be flexible

When you can't act like you normally do, take a different approach and try something new. Try to figure out why you didn't succeed so that you can correct your mistakes the next time you try. Each time you discover something new for yourself, learn to overcome another obstacle that stands in the way of success, you will take a big step forward along this path.

Go to the end

When Edison was asked how he managed, without losing hope, to try a thousand times to make the light bulb invented by him shine when they exploded one after another, he answered something like this: “Each time the next light bulb exploded, I told myself that I had found another how not to invent it!” He was just sure that he was going to make this invention, so he knew that it was only a matter of time and number of attempts.

Learn to learn

Unsuccessful people very often feel helpless in some situations. They simply do not know what they need to do in order to set a goal, achieve it, and achieve success. After the first failure, or even after the very first misfire, they just get frustrated and give up, instead of studying the cause of the failure. Whenever you can't figure out what went wrong, reach out to people more experienced in the field. You can read the necessary literature, sign up for training courses of the profile you are interested in. The main thing is to learn to understand your topic well, to learn how to overcome difficulties. Then you won't feel helpless!

Be psychologically prepared for any obstacles

People around you will criticize you, maybe even laugh at you, try to undermine your self-confidence, and maybe even begin to reject you. But, if you want to be successful, do not let your dream collapse, do not turn off the chosen path.

Failure or Success

Do you want an example when there are only a couple of meters between success and failure? Imagine a school, a class. There is a lesson. The test results are announced. Two students get fours. They sit on the same version, they are separated by only two desks and a whole abyss of emotions. The trio cannot contain his glee. This four saved him from an unsatisfactory mark in the quarter. The excellent student is shocked silent. For him, four points is a failure. Failure. But there is only one control. Mark too. But it all depends on the attitude to the result of the control of both students. From the one who expected to receive how much at the beginning of the lesson.

Or another example. Two fifty-year-old women are on the train. Both of them were brought up in a complete family with an average income, studied well at school, graduated from the institute. Lots of things in common, right? But the thoughts of women are radically different. One of them, summing up the preliminary result of her life, complains: “The husband does not appreciate. One fishing on my mind. The kids didn't get anything. My daughter gave birth to three children, she stays at home. The son married a divorcee, brings up a stepson, works at a factory. Even the car is a wreck.”

Another, smiling, boasts: “And I have a wonderful husband. Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke. So many years together. We even go fishing together. Our kids are wonderful. My daughter and her husband are lucky. She follows him like a stone wall. He brings up children, bakes pies. The hostess is good. The son is also great. Kind, human. Brought the girl with the baby. He loves his wife, does not offend his stepson. They live soul to soul. Yes, and we are not poor. Bought a car. Let not a new one, but a good owner. He looked after her like he was his own. So now we can go fishing and picking mushrooms.”

It all depends on how we perceive reality. Do you want to see failure in everything? You will see her! Of course, this does not mean that you need to lower the bar of life requirements and always be content with little. However, it is important to look for the positives in everything.

Where do legs grow from?

Self-esteem depends on upbringing. Did your parents teach you to enjoy life, not to lose heart if something doesn’t work out? This means that a person will grow up adequate, ready for life's troubles.

If a mother constantly tells a child: “You shame me!”, Then he will continue to associate himself with the cause of the shame of other people. From childhood, he was given an attitude that he adheres to. So praise your children. Do not skimp on words of support, love, recognition of children's abilities. After all, it depends on this whether your child will grow up successful or not.

Rewire your mind to the fact that you are no worse than everyone else. And in some ways, maybe even better. Remember all your positive qualities. Develop them. You need to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Just evaluate objectively, and not relying on someone else's opinion.

Take a piece of paper, divide it into two parts. Describe your negative qualities and, on the other hand, are positive. Only include your most serious shortcomings as negative. To the positive - even the smallest nuances. Are you good at baking pancakes? Or maybe you can hang a shelf in the bathroom yourself? All of these are sheer pluses. Note - these are your pluses!

Love yourself. Without this simple rule, failure will keep you down the drain for the rest of your days. Are you unlucky in some way? Or in some situation you did not behave in the best way? Stop punishing yourself, everyone does bad things. People differ only in whether a person knows how to correct the situation and move on, or not.

The main enemy of self-confidence

Why have we jumped from success and failure to self-confidence? Because it is impossible to be lucky and not believe in yourself. It is important to identify cause and effect here. Luck (contrary to popular belief) is not a cause, but a consequence. A person first believes in himself, and then he is lucky.

Look at the "lucky ones". Do they look insecure? Or do they radiate calmness and self-confidence? Most likely the second. Therefore, you should look for your uniqueness, originality - and there success will not keep you waiting. However, the advice to "be like them" would be wrong. You don't have to be like anyone else. Only for herself. With its advantages and disadvantages.

This originality should be within reason - there is absolutely no need to dye your hair bright orange, put an earring in it or go to Red Square to sing "Harry Krishna". But reading Murakami, which is completely uninteresting to you, or listening to Beethoven just because almost everyone does it, is at least stupid.

Failure is the path to success

Have you ever wondered why people are so afraid of the possibility of failure? They are afraid to look bad in the eyes of others, to be worse than others, to be far from perfect. This is the cause of depression, self-doubt, discontent of others. Someone once came up with the standards that everyone must meet. As they corresponded to them, a person was declared more or less perfect. Perfect mind. Perfect body. A complete loser.

Failure is subjective. But, be that as it may, something happens in life, we get upset, complain that we are unlucky. The editor did not accept the book, did not give a bank loan, did not get a good mark. Failures look different for everyone, but they are frustrating and scary for everyone.

People stop doing things in fear of failing again. The writer, frightened by the first refusal, puts the manuscript on the table and stops writing. The student drops out of school in fear that he will not pass the session and will be dishonored by the whole group. The family continues to rent an apartment instead of taking out a mortgage and moving into their own apartment.

But luck was so close! A week was enough for a student to learn the subject. The writer could hand over the manuscript to another publisher, get a larger fee. The family was waiting for a loan at a nearby bank, which they never reached. All the gifts of fate are wasted. And all just because people are afraid of failure.

Therefore, the worst thing you can do is to be afraid of failure. The more you fear them, the more they happen. And that makes you feel like a big loser. It turns out a vicious circle, which is very difficult to break. But still it is possible, so in no case do not despair, even if you have already got into it.

Proper awareness of failure

To stop being afraid, to finally become a happy person, you need to understand that failure is not a defeat, but another step towards success. You must be firmly convinced that you will achieve your goal. And no temporary obstacles will prevent you from doing this. Firmly grasp this truth and all the tasks in this life will become your shoulder.

Remember your childhood. Here you are learning to roller skate. Get up, fall, roll, fall again. However, despite all the failures, it doesn’t even occur to you to stop learning. Sooner or later, you easily and naturally roll down the street on roller skates, not even remembering yesterday's abrasions. Here it is an example of how failure helps to achieve your goal in life.

And how are you different from that kid in a protective helmet with elbow pads? Just a lack of self-confidence. After all, then you knew for sure that you would roller skate. They were absolutely not afraid of anything, The child does not have the thought that something will not work out for him. But time passes, children grow up. Today, you criticize every action you take. Hence all your failures.

There is another noteworthy theory of the existence of failures. According to philosophers, the more obstacles that arise in your path, the closer you come to the goal. So don't turn around in the opposite direction. Don't drop the target halfway to it. Who knows, maybe your goal is hiding behind another wall that has stood in your way? And you, having broken 100 walls, despaired, decided that you were a loser and there would be no sense anyway, stopped in front of the last, 101 wall?!

How self-motivation works

Now that all the ins and outs of failures have been revealed, let's learn how to get rid of past fears, clichés, and prejudices. What is needed for this? Motivation to achieve success and avoid failure. Let's take a look at what you need to do:

Hope for the best, but always prepare for the worst

This old folk wisdom is still relevant today. Come to terms with the idea that there have been, are, and will be failures. Mass layoffs at work? Be mentally prepared to be among those who have prepared a payslip. But do not fall into depression, feeling sorry for yourself - a poor unfortunate person who was not appreciated.

Better think about the fact that the boss constantly allowed himself to raise his voice, colleagues loved to gossip, and the salary was low. If this is the situation, why not use it to your advantage? Start sending out resumes, very soon you will be surprised to find that there are many companies ready to appreciate your abilities.

If you build your life in this way, you will be ready for trouble and will always meet it fully armed. This does not mean that it is always necessary to look for the negative, to expect only unpleasant surprises from life - life is beautiful! But you need to protect yourself so as not to end up in an unpleasant situation.

Change your attitude to circumstances

In addition, change your attitude to undesirable consequences as quickly as possible. Getting upset every time - no nerves are enough. Fired from your job and you haven't found a new job yet? So, you can finally relax, sleep. You will be able to dress the way you want, and not as required by the dress code. And there will be work - there would be a neck, but there will be a collar. The harsh realities of life.

New life

Have a rest? Did you get enough sleep? And now go ahead - in search of a new job, a new girlfriend, a new home or even a new husband! If you do not give up, then everything will definitely work out for you and sooner or later you will bear the proud title of a successful person! Moreover, you yourself will already be able to give advice on how to become one.

What to do for career success

To be successful at work, you need to do the following:

• Be passionate about your work, and for this it is absolutely necessary to love the work you are doing.
• Bring something of your own to your favorite work: develop an individual style of achieving goals, create your own brand, your own chip.
• Recognize the importance of what you do for society. For example, if you are a marketer, then your task is to get as many people as possible to know about your company's unique product and improve their lives with it.
• Be active and proactive. Do not wait for some received tasks and assignments; read literature, be interested in new developments in your field, offer management options for improving the company's work.
• Don't waste time on unnecessary things like social media. Better use it for real relaxation or to achieve your goals.
• Become a first-class specialist in a fairly narrow but in-demand area - then you will be in demand.

Success and business

The exercise "I am in the future" will be useful. Often it seems to us that goals are achieved in the following way: the present determines the future, and the achievement of the goal depends on what you are in the present. However, this is not entirely true: in order to subsequently achieve success, you need to become in the present what you will be in the future. Therefore, imagine yourself in every detail, successful in business, and be aware of what qualities you possess. Then, all that remains for you is to develop the appropriate skills, abilities, character traits.

Proper goal setting is important. Visualize in detail what you want to achieve. Remember that a good goal is the key to the competent development of any business project.

The target must have the following characteristics:

• Responsible - it must be formulated in the first person.
• Specific - everything should be displayed in the wording: how much, where, when and how.
• Real - for example, wanting to become immortal at the present stage of the development of science is not entirely realistic.
• Include perfective verbs "do" or "do".
• Inspirational - it is useless to set goals that you do not want to achieve and the achievement of which does not motivate you.
• Positive - in the formulation of the goal there should not be any "not".

Any success is real and achievable. You need to set the right goal, constantly do something to achieve it, be responsible for your life, be its author and have a positive attitude towards other people. Then success will not be long in coming!