How to write a short humorous story. Funny stories Come up with a funny story

Writing short humorous stories is an enjoyable activity that will help you realize your passion for writing and hone your sense of humor. Humor helps relieve tension in difficult situations and unite people through laughter, which is very useful if the plot is complex or tragic. No matter why you need to write a humorous story (for a literature class or just because you have a great idea), this activity will allow you to use your sense of humor and find a way to express yourself.

Steps

Planning stage

Decide where the action will take place. Some people prefer to think through the plot first, but in humorous prose a lot depends on the situations. Before you start working on the plot, it will be useful for you to think about where the action will take place and what might lead to funny situations.

• Try to choose an off-the-beaten-path location. If you are not original in your choice of passage, the reader will quickly lose interest because he will feel like he has heard it before.
• Humorous stories should have as few changes of scene as possible. Aim to have only one seat, two at most.

1. Think over the plot. Plot is the most important element of any story. Plot is what happens in a story, the characters and how they interact.

   • A good story must have a beginning, middle and end. Within this structure there must be a source of tension, a climax (maximum point of tension) and a resolution that leads to the end.
   • Think about what might be a source of tension in your story and tailor it to the location and time you choose.
   • Think about how this source of tension might play out in your story. Perhaps the setting can heighten tension or create romance.

2. Think about the heroes. Any story must have interesting and realistic characters. In humorous stories, the reader expects to see characters who either have funny traits or find themselves in funny situations.

   Use of humor

   1. Try to see the funny in everything. When thinking over a future humorous story, collect as much funny stuff as possible from all areas of life. It could be something personal or related to politics or culture. When you come across something interesting, write it down in relation to your story (plot) and situation (that is, the topic you are working with - for example, it could be friendship) and note why you think it is funny.

      • Write down any ideas you come up with. Record everything funny that you see and hear, as well as all your thoughts regarding the plots and characters.
      • Don't be afraid to borrow stories from your personal experience or from the lives of friends.
      • A humorous story doesn't have to be entirely autobiographical, but if it contains elements of something you've experienced yourself, it will make your work special.
      • Follow events in the world. You might not write a story that involves breaking news or celebrity gossip, but it might give you the idea for a story based on a true story that has cultural significance.

   2. Have your own strong beliefs. In the humorous genre, honesty on the part of the author is important, and this means that you, as the author of short humorous stories must be honest with ourselves. Before you begin, think about what you believe so you can base your observations and the text as a whole on it.

      • You can hardly tell a political joke without deciding which side you're on. In the same way, you shouldn’t remain neutral in your writing.
      • Don't be afraid that your humor will alienate people who disagree with you - just know what you think is right, as this will help you find humor in certain situations.

   3. Look for sources of inspiration. If you want to write a short humorous story, it can be helpful to look for something that will inspire you. Inspiration can come in many forms, but the most effective way is to read and watch as much comedy material as possible.

      • Read humorous prose. It can be found on the Internet, in the library, or purchased in a bookstore.
      • Watch humorous films and TV series. This isn't exactly the format you need, but it may also give you some useful ideas.
      • While reading or watching, try to analyze the humor.
      • Think about why you find something funny. Analyze how the writer or screenwriter came up with the plot and characters, and look for ways to adapt those techniques to your work.

   4. Know what the joke is. You can include jokes in your text, and to do it correctly, you need to know how comedians do it. Using jokes is optional, but if you plan to do so, it's best to learn the basic principles. The joke should be simple and the reader shouldn't have to think twice to understand it. Ideally, a joke should cause laughter the moment the reader finishes reading it.

      Don't use humor all the time. It may seem strange that not everything in a humorous story should be funny, but too much humor can spoil even good story. You shouldn't force jokes on your readers - the story should be funny, but not oversaturated with humor.

      • Remember that a humorous story must have a realistic plot, characters and dialogue. A story cannot consist only of a sequence of jokes.
      • You can find humor in the place and time of action, in characters, in situations, or in combinations of these elements. If you try to put too much humor into one text, even a humorous one, you end up with a parody, not a story.

   Working on the text

   1. Describe the setting and characters as early as possible. In any story, you first need to explain to the reader who the story is about, where the action takes place, and give a hint of what will happen next. This also applies to humorous stories, they just still have something funny in them. Readers should not be kept in the dark for too long, otherwise they will abandon the story before finishing it.

      • The beginning of the story should describe the setting and at least one character.
      • Tell where the action takes place, but only mention the most important things. Try to extract as much useful and funny information from the scene as possible.
      • Think about how and where humor will appear. Try to at least hint at this in the beginning.
      • Remember that at least something must appear in the beginning - a source of tension, a source of humor, or something that will become important later.

   2. In the middle, events and circumstances should become more complex and funny. It's in the middle that the story usually gets muddled. Short humorous stories contain a lot of good humor in the middle, or at least create opportunities for humor to emerge towards the end.

   3. Write a short ending. IN short story there is little room for lengthy reasoning and conclusions. The story should end quickly and briefly, and by the end the humor should already appear (especially if in the middle of the story you created the conditions for funny situations to arise).

      • The conflict should develop quite quickly. Humor may lie in how the conflict is resolved, but it may also simply accompany it.
      • The ending should be short. Remember that due to the format of the story, you will have to discard all unimportant details.
      • Try to keep the ending in just one paragraph. There should be humor in the last sentence so that the reader can breathe a sigh of relief.

   4. Write realistic dialogues. You already have characters that look like real people, and now you need them to communicate with each other in a way that the reader will believe you. If the reader is immersed in the story and does not think that it was all made up, the story can be considered well written.

      • Think about how people talk to each other. Read the dialogues out loud and ask yourself if people really say that.
      • Good dialogue should develop the plot. Cut out the unnecessary and don't state the obvious.
      • Dialogue should reveal the characters' personalities, including how they interact and treat other people.
      • Do not overload your explanations with unnecessary details. For example, instead of the following phrase: “What should we do?” he asked, nervously looking at the ground and avoiding her gaze, it is better to say this: “What should we do?” he asked, without taking his eyes off the ground ".

   5. Say everything you want to say in few words. This is one of the most difficult tasks in writing short stories. It may seem more difficult to write a long book, but a short story should accomplish the same goals, just with a space limitation. Everything should come together by the end, but beyond that, the story should also be filled with humor.

      • You may have big ideas, but it is important to remember that when writing a short humorous story, you are limited in the amount of text.
      • Don't leave an idea unfinished. In a story, the main idea must be fully developed.
      • To reduce the volume, you can get rid of unimportant elements and words.
      • If you have said everything you wanted to say (either explicitly or through descriptions), you can consider that the idea has been fully realized.
      • For example, you need a lot of space to describe the complexity of human relationships. A short story can highlight a specific aspect of friendship (for example, forgiveness of offensive words or actions).

   6. Focus on what's most important. You may find it difficult to write your own story if you haven't read similar stories by other authors. You can condense a long story or expand a short one, but the most important thing to remember is the key elements of any story.

      • Some writers find it easier to write long text and then shorten it. This approach guarantees completeness of thought.
      • Other writers prefer to start with a small passage and work from there. This will make it easier to write a short text, and this way you will save yourself from the torment associated with deleting some parts of the text.
      • There is no right or wrong way to write a story, so choose what suits you best.
      • Whatever method you choose, be sure to keep the narrative complete, develop characters, and use humor wisely.

   Editing

   1. Before you start editing, put your work aside. The worst thing you can do is to start proofreading a text immediately after finishing working on it. You need to take a break from the story so that you can look at it with a fresh mind. This will allow you to take your mind off the small details.

      • At least one to two weeks should pass between the completion of the text and the start of editing. Ideally, it is better to leave the text for a month.
      • Ask a close friend or relative to read your story. Ask him to give honest criticism. Say that it is very important for you to know what you did poorly and why.
      • Reading the text with a fresh mind will help you see errors that you may have missed. When you're engrossed in writing, you may feel like you've written something because it's still in your head, when in fact you might have left it out.
      • A break from text is also necessary because later it will be easier for you to throw away unnecessary things. You might really love one scene, but weeks later you might decide it wasn't as important as you thought it was.

   2. Remind yourself what your goal is. What is the purpose of your story? Have you tried to pay attention to the real situation in society? Want to analyze a certain aspect of human nature? Laugh at personal experience? Whatever your intentions, you should remind yourself of what you want to convey to the reader before you begin editing.

      • By remembering why you started writing this text, it will be easier for you to understand what you wanted to achieve. Thanks to this, you will understand whether you succeeded in achieving your goal.
      • Consider whether the tone of the story matches your intentions as well as all the events in the story.

   3. Explain anything that seems unclear. This is one of the reasons why the text needs to be put aside for a while. Once you've finished writing a story, you probably won't be able to notice things that will confuse the reader. If some time passes after this, it will be easier for you to find your mistakes.

      • Misunderstandings can be caused by the content of the story (or the lack of things in the plot) or poor transitions between scenes. Transitions should be smooth: from scene to scene, from chapter to chapter.
      • A successful transition ends the previous episode and leads the reader to the next.
      • Here is an example of a good transition between scenes: “He followed her with his gaze until she disappeared into the darkness. In the morning he began to look in that direction again, although he knew that by that moment she would have already covered half the road home.”
      • Ask a friend to read your story and tell you what parts seem unclear or confusing.

   4. Check the text for errors. Proofreading is not the same as editing. When editing, you rewrite some parts of the text and throw out what is poorly written. During proofreading, grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors are corrected.

      • Look for spelling errors, syntax errors, grammatical errors, poor sentences and parts of sentences, errors in punctuation, and weak explanations of lines.
      • Use a spell checker or ask a friend who is good at proofreading for mistakes to check your story.
      • Try reading the story out loud. Sometimes mistakes are easier to catch by ear.
   • Do not give up! If you can't think of anything, take a break and start over.
   • Don't forget that newly written stories are never flawless. The writer's task is to change texts and bring them to perfection.
   • Let a close friend read your work. You must trust this person and value his opinion. Ask him to point you to those fragments that were successful for you, And those that require improvement.

Coming up with a fairy tale is a creative task that develops children's speech, imagination, fantasy, and creative thinking. These tasks help the child create a fairy-tale world where he is the main character, developing in the child such qualities as kindness, courage, boldness, and patriotism.

By composing independently, the child develops these qualities. Our children really like to invent their own ideas. fairy tales, it brings them joy and pleasure. Fairy tales invented by children are very interesting, they help to understand the inner world of your children, there are a lot of emotions, the invented characters seem to have come to us from another world, the world of childhood. The drawings for these essays look very funny. The page presents short fairy tales that schoolchildren came up with for a literary reading lesson in 3rd grade. If the children cannot write a fairy tale themselves, then invite them to come up with the beginning, end or continuation of the fairy tale on their own.

A fairy tale should have:

• introduction (starter)
• main action
• denouement + epilogue (preferably)
• a fairy tale should teach something good

The presence of these components will give your creative work the correct finished look. Please note that in the examples presented below, these components are not always present, and this serves as a basis for lowering the ratings.

Fight against an alien

In a certain city, in a certain country, there lived a president and a first lady. They had three sons - triplets: Vasya, Vanya and Roma. They were smart, brave and courageous, only Vasya and Vanya were irresponsible. One day, the city was attacked by an alien. And not a single army could cope. This alien destroyed houses at night. The brothers came up with an invisible drone. Vasya and Vanya were supposed to be on duty, but fell asleep. But Roma couldn’t sleep. And when the alien appeared, he began to fight it. It turned out to be not so simple. The plane was shot down. Roma woke up the brothers, and they helped him control the smoking drone. And together they defeated the alien. (Kamenkov Makar)

How the ladybug got dots.

Once upon a time there lived an artist. And one day he came up with the idea of ​​drawing a fairy-tale picture about the life of insects. He drew and drew, and suddenly he saw a ladybug. She didn't seem very beautiful to him. And he decided to change the color of the back, the ladybug looked strange. I changed the color of the head, it looked strange again. And when I painted spots on the back, it became beautiful. And he liked it so much that he drew 5-6 pieces at once. The artist’s painting was hung in the museum for everyone to admire. And ladybugs still have dots on their backs. When other insects ask: "Why do you have ladybugs dots on their backs?" They answer: “It was the artist who painted us” (Surzhikova Maria)

Fear has big eyes

There lived a grandmother and granddaughter. Every day they went for water. The grandmother had large bottles, the granddaughter had smaller ones. One day our water carriers went to fetch water. They got some water and are walking home through the area. They walk and see an apple tree, and under the apple tree there is a cat. The wind blew and the apple fell on the cat’s forehead. The cat got scared and ran right under our water carriers’ feet. They got scared, threw the bottles and ran home. The grandmother fell on the bench, the granddaughter hid behind her grandmother. The cat ran scared and barely ran away. It’s true what they say: “Fear has big eyes—what they don’t have, they see.”

Snowflake

Once upon a time there lived a king, and he had a daughter. She was called Snowflake because she was made of snow and melted in the sun. But despite this, her heart was not very kind. The king did not have a wife and he said to the snowflake: “Now you will grow up and who will take care of me?” The snowflake saw the suffering of the king-father and offered to find him a wife. The king agreed. After some time, the king found himself a wife, her name was Rosella. She was angry and jealous of her stepdaughter. Snowflake was friends with all the animals, since people were allowed to see her, because the king was afraid that people might harm his beloved daughter.

Every day Snowflake grew and blossomed, and the stepmother figured out how to get rid of her. Rosella learned Snowflake’s secret and decided to destroy her at all costs. She called Snowflake to her and said: “My daughter, I am very sick and only the decoction that my sister cooks will help me, but she lives very far away.” Snowflake agreed to help her stepmother.

The girl set off in the evening, found where Rosella’s sister lived, took the broth from her and hurried on the way back. But dawn began and she turned into a puddle. Where the Snowflake melted, a beautiful flower grew. Rosella told the king that she had let Snowflake go to look at White light, but she never returned. The king was upset and waited days and nights for his daughter.

A girl was walking in the forest where a fairy flower grew. She took the flower home, began to look after it and talk to it. One spring day, a flower blossomed and a girl grew out of it. This girl turned out to be Snowflake. She went with her savior to the palace of the unfortunate king and told everything to the priest. The king became angry with Rosella and kicked her out. And he recognized his daughter’s savior as his second daughter. And they have lived together very happily ever since. (Veronica)

Magical forest

Once upon a time there lived a boy named Vova. One day he went into the forest. The forest turned out to be magical, like in a fairy tale. Dinosaurs lived there. Vova was walking and saw frogs in the clearing. They danced and sang. Suddenly a dinosaur came. He was clumsy and big, and he also began to dance. Vova laughed and so did the trees. That was the adventure with Vova. (Boltnova Victoria)

The Tale of the Good Hare

Once upon a time there lived a hare and a hare. They huddled in a small dilapidated hut at the edge of the forest. One day the hare went to pick mushrooms and berries. I collected a whole bag of mushrooms and a basket of berries.

He is walking home and meets a hedgehog. “What are you talking about, hare?” - asks the hedgehog. “Mushrooms and berries,” answers the hare. And he treated the hedgehog to mushrooms. He went further. A squirrel jumps towards me. The squirrel saw berries and said: “Give me a bunny of berries, I’ll give them to my squirrels.” The hare treated the squirrel and moved on. A bear is coming towards you. He gave the bear some mushrooms to taste and continued on his way.

A fox is coming. “Give me your harvest!” The hare grabbed a bag of mushrooms and a basket of berries and ran away from the fox. The fox was offended by the hare and decided to take revenge on him. She ran ahead of the hare to his hut and destroyed it.

The hare comes home, but there is no hut. Only the hare sits and cries bitter tears. The local animals learned about the hare's misfortune and came to help him build a new home. And the house turned out a hundred times better than before. And then they got bunnies. And they began to live their lives and receive forest friends as guests.

Magic wand

Once upon a time there lived three brothers. Two strong and a weak one. The strong ones were lazy, and the third was hardworking. They went into the forest to pick mushrooms and got lost. The brothers saw the palace all made of gold, went inside, and there were untold riches. The first brother took a sword made of gold. The second brother took an iron club. The third took a magic wand. The Serpent Gorynych appeared out of nowhere. One with a sword, the other with a club, but Zmey Gorynych doesn’t take anything. Only the third brother waved his wand, and instead of the kite there was a boar, which ran away. The brothers returned home and have been helping their weak brother ever since.

Bunny

Once upon a time there lived a little bunny. And one day a fox stole him and carried him far away, far away. She put him in prison and locked him. The poor bunny sits and thinks: “How to escape?” And suddenly he sees stars falling from the small window, and a little fairy squirrel appears. And she told him to wait until the fox fell asleep and get the key. The fairy gave him a package and told him to open it only at night.

Night has come. The bunny untied the package and saw a fishing rod. He took it, stuck it through the window, and swung it. The hook hit the key. The bunny pulled and took the key. He opened the door and ran home. And the fox looked for him and looked for him, but never found him.

Tale about the king

In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived a king and a queen. And they had three sons: Vanya, Vasya and Peter. One fine day the brothers were walking in the garden. In the evening they came home. The king and queen meet them at the gate and say: “Robbers have attacked our land. Take the troops and drive them out of our land.” And the brothers went and began to look for the robbers.

For three days and three nights they rode without rest. On the fourth day, a heated battle is seen near one village. The brothers galloped to the rescue. There was a battle from early morning until late evening. Many people died on the battlefield, but the brothers won.

They returned home. The king and queen rejoiced at the victory, the king was proud of his sons and threw a feast for the whole world. And I was there, and I drank honey. It flowed down my mustache, but didn’t get into my mouth.

Magic fish

Once upon a time there lived a boy, Petya. Once he went fishing. The first time he cast his fishing rod, he caught nothing. The second time he cast his fishing rod and again did not catch anything. The third time he cast his fishing rod and caught a goldfish. Petya brought it home and put it in a jar. I began to make imaginary fairy-tale wishes:

Fish - fish I want to learn mathematics.

Okay, Petya, I'll do the math for you.

Rybka - Rybka I want to learn Russian.

Okay, Petya, I'll do Russian for you.

And the boy made a third wish:

I want to become a scientist

The fish said nothing, just splashed its tail in the water and disappeared into the waves forever.

If you don’t study and don’t work, you can’t become a scientist.

Magical girl

Once upon a time there lived a girl - the Sun. And she was called the Sun because she smiled. The sun began to travel across Africa. She felt thirsty. When she said these words, a large bucket of cool water suddenly appeared. The girl drank some water, and the water was golden. And the Sun became strong, healthy and happy. And when things were difficult for her in life, those difficulties went away. And the girl realized about her magic. She wished for toys, but it didn’t come true. The Sun began to act up and the magic disappeared. It is true what they say: “If you want a lot, you will get little.”

Tale about kittens

Once upon a time there lived a cat and a cat, and they had three kittens. The eldest was called Barsik, the middle one was Murzik, and the youngest was Ryzhik. One day they went for a walk and saw a frog. The kittens chased after her. The frog jumped into the bushes and disappeared. Ryzhik asked Barsik:

Who is it?

“I don’t know,” Barsik answered.

Let's catch him, Murzik suggested.

And the kittens climbed into the bushes, but the frog was no longer there. They went home to tell their mother about it. The mother cat listened to them and said that it was a frog. So the kittens found out what kind of animal it was.

Instructions

Remember that one of the main criteria for success, which helps in coming up with jokes and writing funny stories, is whether a person has a sense of humor. Psychologists have long proven that an excellent sense of humor and erudition, as well as mental abilities, are directly proportional. In other words, the smarter a person is, the funnier his jokes can be. But this does not mean that all professors and candidates of science are natural comedians. It is very important that the jokes you come up with make the audience laugh, and not just their immediate author.

To write a funny story, come up with or remember a funny story from your life and, most importantly, be able to present it in a “tasty” way. For this purpose, humor writers use a whole range of expressive means that help achieve the desired effect. In the first place among these means is hyperbole - exaggeration of a situation, character trait or property. If hyperbole is used skillfully in a story, it creates a simply stunning comic effect.

Also use, if appropriate and possible, the technique of litotes, which is the reverse of hyperbole, that is, it is a deliberate understatement of some properties, traits, etc.

Add to the list of means that can be used when writing a humorous story: a literal interpretation, catchphrases and other words with a figurative meaning, an unexpected comparison, listing as homogeneous incompatible objects, the use in a specific context of words with a figurative and direct meaning, etc.

To maintain the reader's intrigue until the end of the story, use a technique such as an unexpected denouement. Do not forget also about the use of various absurdities in the behavior of your heroes. Give their characters or appearance comical features, place them in unusual situations, call them unusual names and give them “speaking” surnames.

Helpful advice

In fact, there are many different techniques and ways of writing funny stories, it all depends only on the imagination of the author. And, of course, from his extraordinary sense of humor.

Sources:

• come up with a funny story

In the modern world, self-presentation plays an important part in a person’s personal success. You need to clearly know how to present yourself, your advantages and even disadvantages. A person does not have a complete absence of minuses, but, along with this, it is possible to describe every minus as a plus - it all depends on the point of application of the quality and the specific situation of use.

You will need

• - Paper
• - Pen

Instructions

First of all, decide on your positive qualities. Highlight those that, according to others, are positive in your case. It is in your case, and not in someone else’s, that due to personal characteristics, different qualities can manifest themselves differently.

Write down all your negative qualities. Determine which ones are critical to assessing your personality and which ones are not. It is necessary to remember not only those qualities that you consider negative, but also those that were designated in you as negative from the outside.

Combine everything into one picture. The most important thing is not to embellish the truth, but to slightly paraphrase and mix up the former negative qualities with positive ones.
Compose a complete text describing your personal qualities, without focusing on any one. Write the text in dry, academic language - this will help give greater impartiality to your own assessment of yourself.

Video on the topic

Helpful advice

Remember that if you do not focus on one thing, the order in which the qualities are presented is critical.

Laughter prolongs life, and a sense of humor helps to win people over. Therefore, if, when entering a new company or preparing a presentation for a competition, you need to talk about yourself, try to make the story funny. Listeners will surely love it.

You will need

• - photos;
• - old magazines.

Instructions

The easiest way to give people information about yourself and make them laugh at the same time is to tell a few funny incidents from your life. It is desirable that the episodes described can most fully reveal your character. If you love freedom so much that kindergarten during a quiet hour we escaped and tried to take a bus to Honolulu, and during the last trip to the mountains we barely escaped from a bear that we were trying to photograph, this can be mentioned. But if your biography contains stories that happened to you in a state alcohol intoxication, it is better to hide them from the general public.

If you are preparing a story about yourself for a presentation, you can submit the necessary information in. Try not to overuse the lyricism of the narrative; insert jokes and minor but funny episodes into the text. If you see yourself exclusively as a lyrical hero, try to introduce a bit of absurdity into the text with descriptions of experiences and metaphors. Write how your tears flowed like a river when, as a child, you sat for hours over a boundless plate of semolina porridge that you hated, with lumps reminiscent of the snowman you built, which was destroyed by the older kids. If you have a little talent, you can impress your listeners.

Accompany your story with illustrations. But looking at photographs can sometimes be boring, so, armed with an unnecessary magazine, try making a couple of collages. Let the model from the Chanel show you glued your face to demonstrate how you went to prom, and let the oligarch vacationing on his own island and also acquiring your identity make your dreams of the perfect vacation come true.

Find parallels between yourself and a popular character in a book or movie. Perhaps, like Harry Potter, you had to live in terrible housing conditions. Or your hair looks no worse than Thor's, and you, like James Bond, love dry martinis. Focus on the age and tastes of your listeners to choose good characters for comparison.

When talking about yourself, do not get carried away by quoting other people's poems and sayings, no matter how witty they may seem to you. Your audience is more likely to inquire about the name of the author whose work you used than to think you're funny.

In modern life, there is often no time for long-term relationships where you can be studied and known well. Often you are faced with a situation where you need to talk about yourself when you meet someone by chance on the Internet or at a friendly party. Few girls can easily and naturally tell a guy about themselves. And this needs to be done correctly.

What can you tell a guy about yourself?

Guys are conservatives and do not like sudden movements, defiant behavior and appearance, or strange humor. Boasting and arrogance are also unattractive. But the simplicity, accessibility, and sincerity are impressive and understandable. Therefore, you shouldn’t embellish yourself; at the same time, you can unobtrusively emphasize your positive qualities, and keep silent about unprincipled shortcomings. To know what to talk about, it is better to prepare in advance. Understand yourself, analyze your life and actions.

There is no need to be taken aback by excessive frankness and certainly try to secure the acquaintance with a joint secret. Also try not to talk about your problems at work, in life or with health and other troubles. It is better to make the first impression of a person who is positive, has an easy life and does not dwell on failures.

You shouldn’t spoil the bones of your acquaintances, especially your ex, by telling them about your relationship, about how many romantic attachments you had in general. It is reckless to start eternal gender debates: who is more important, smarter and more logical - women or men.

Try to find common hobbies and common ground. Develop this topic. Tell us about your plans for the future, try to dream up together.

How to talk to a guy, telling him about yourself?

When telling a guy about yourself, speak confidently, calmly, without getting confused or confused in facts and sentences. You shouldn’t retell your whole life, starting with infancy and attachments in kindergarten. Don't get hung up on the little things, remember the brightest and funniest incidents.

Try to speak contagiously in order not only to arouse the interest of the interlocutor, but also to awaken in him the desire to say something personal on the topic of conversation. If you want to continue the relationship, do not try to speak out immediately and completely, interest them, but leave a lot of mysteries and unsaid things for the future. Give your counterpart the opportunity to interject and reason in response. The more interested you seem in his person, the more detailed you can find out. Listen carefully and show your support and approval.

All these tips seem obvious, but in practice they are difficult to implement, especially if you really like the guy... Be natural and don’t lose your head.

Sources:

• what can you tell a guy about yourself

Interesting short funny stories from people’s lives are exactly what will always be in demand among readers. Any person loves to laugh at what happened in the life of another. Funny stories can cheer you up at any time of the day. It is known that what was taken from life will be fun for many years to come. And laughter, as you know, prolongs life!

Holidays with friends already involve telling all sorts of funny stories. Many of these gatherings end up on the Internet. If you want to read a collection of very funny life stories, welcome to our website!

Most popular topics:

Comic situations occur at every step, and there is nothing terrible if someone else finds out about them. The funny stories on our site will not leave anyone indifferent who stops their attention on the page with interesting stories. You can find any story to suit your taste, because we only have the best and funniest cases that happened in real life!

Join the number of our readers! Laughter therapy is guaranteed! Tell your friends and colleagues funny stories and laugh at them together. Collective laughter is definitely a viral and very contagious thing! =)

- Call Natasha to the phone!
- Natasha is not here, what should I tell her?
- Give her five rubles!

The patient came to the doctor:
- Doctor, you advised me to count to 100,000 to fall asleep!
- Well, did you fall asleep?
- No, it’s already morning! Sent by Yana Sukhoverkhova from Estonia, Pärnu May 18, 2003

- Vasya! Doesn't it bother you that you're left-handed?
- No. Every person has their own shortcomings. For example, with what hand do you stir the tea?
- Right!
- Here you see! But normal people stir with a spoon!

A crazy person is walking down the street and dragging a thread behind him.
A passerby asks him:
- Why are you dragging a thread behind you?
What should I push forward?

- My neighbor was a vampire.
- How did you know this?
“And I drove an aspen stake into his chest, and he died.”

- Boy, why are you crying so bitterly?
- Because of rheumatism.
- What? So small and you already have rheumatism?
- No, I got a bad mark because I wrote “rhythmism” in the dictation!

- Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
- And the day after tomorrow?

- Petya, why are you laughing? Personally, I don’t see anything funny!
- And you can’t even see: you sat on my jam sandwich!

— Petya, how many excellent students are there in your class?
- Not counting me, four.
- Are you an excellent student?
- No. That's what I said - not counting me!

Phone call in the staff room:
- Hello! Is this Anna Alekseevna? Tolik's mother says.
- Who? I can't hear well!
- Tolika! I spell it out: Tatyana, Oleg, Leonid, Ivan, Kirill, Andrey!
- What? And all the children are in my class?

During a drawing lesson, one student turns to his neighbor at his desk:
- You drew great! I've got an appetite!
- Appetite? From sunrise?
- Wow! And I thought you drew scrambled eggs!

During a singing lesson, the teacher said:
— Today we’ll talk about opera. Who knows what opera is?
Vovochka raised his hand:
- I know. This is when one person kills another in a duel, and the other sings for a long time before falling!

The teacher handed out notebooks after checking the dictation.
Vovochka approaches the teacher with her notebook and asks:
- Maria Ivanovna, I didn’t understand what you wrote below!
— I wrote: “Sidorov, write legibly!”

The teacher talked in class about great inventors. Then she asked the students:
-What would you like to invent?
One student said:
— I would invent such a machine: you press a button and all the lessons are ready!
- What a lazy person! - the teacher laughed.
Then Vovochka raised his hand and said:
“And I would come up with a device that would press this button!”

Vovochka answers in zoology class:
- The length of the crocodile from head to tail is 5 meters, and from tail to head - 7 meters...
“Think about what you’re saying,” the teacher interrupts Vovochka. - Is it possible?
“It happens,” Vovochka answers. - For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

— Vovochka, what do you want to become when you grow up?
- An ornithologist.
- Is this the one who studies birds?
- Yeah. I want to cross a pigeon with a parrot.
- For what?
- What if suddenly the pigeon gets lost, so that it can ask the way home!

The teacher asks Vovochka:
—What are the last teeth a person develops?
“Artificial,” answered Vovochka.

Vovochka stops the car on the street:
- Uncle, take me to school!
- I'm going in the opposite direction.
- All the better!

“Dad,” says Vovochka, “I must tell you that tomorrow there will be a small meeting of students, parents and teachers at school.”
— What does “small” mean?
- It's just you, me and the homeroom teacher.

We wrote a dictation. When Alla Grigorievna was checking the notebooks, she turned to Antonov:
- Kolya, why are you so inattentive? I dictated: “The door creaked and opened.” What did you write? "The door creaked and fell off!"
And everyone laughed!

“Vorobiev,” said the teacher, “you didn’t do your homework again!” Why?
— Igor Ivanovich, we had no light yesterday.
- And what were you doing? Perhaps you watched TV?
- Yeah, in the dark...
And everyone laughed!

A young teacher complains to her friend:
“One of my students completely tormented me: he makes noise, misbehaves, disrupts lessons!
- But does he have at least one positive quality?
- Unfortunately, there is - he doesn’t miss classes...

At the lesson German language We went through the topic "My Hobby". The teacher called Petya Grigoriev. He stood and was silent for a long time.
“I don’t hear the answer,” said Elena Alekseevna. — What is your hobby?
Then Petya said in German:
- Their bin briefmarke! (I am a postage stamp!)
And everyone laughed!

The lesson has begun. The teacher asked:
— Duty officer, who is absent from class?
Pimenov looked around and said:
— Mushkin is absent.
At this time, Mushkin’s head appeared in the doorway:
- I'm not absent, I'm here!
And everyone laughed!

It was a geometry lesson.
- Who solved the problem? - asked Igor Petrovich.
Vasya Rybin was the first to raise his hand.
“Great, Rybin,” the teacher praised, “Please, come to the board!”
Vasya came to the board and said importantly:
— Consider triangle ABCD!
And everyone laughed!

Why weren't you at school yesterday?
— My older brother got sick.
- What does that have to do with you?
- And I rode his bike!

- Petrov, why are you teaching so poorly? English language?
- What for?
- What do you mean why? After all, half the globe speaks this language!
- And isn’t this enough?

- Petya, if you met old man Hottabych, what wish would you ask him to fulfill?
— I would ask to make London the capital of France.
- Why?
- And yesterday I answered geography and got a bad mark!..

- Well done, Mitya. - says dad. — How did you manage to get an A in zoology?
- They asked me how many legs an ostrich has and I answered - three.
- Wait, but an ostrich has two legs!
- Yes, but all the others answered that there were four!

Petya was invited to visit. They tell him:
- Petya, take another piece of cake.
- Thank you, I have already eaten two pieces.
- Then eat a tangerine.
- Thank you, I have already eaten three tangerines.
“Then take some fruit with you.”
- Thank you, I already took it!

Cheburashka found a penny on the road. He comes to a store where they sell toys. He gives a penny to the saleswoman and says:
- Give me this toy, this one and this one!..
The saleswoman looks at him in surprise.
- Well, what are you waiting for? - says Cheburashka. - Give me the change and I'll go!

Vovochka and her dad are standing near a cage where a lion sits at the zoo.
“Dad,” says Vovochka, “and if a lion accidentally jumps out of the cage and eats you, which bus should I take home?”

“Dad,” asks Vovochka, “why don’t you have a car?”
— There is no money for a car. Don’t be lazy, study better, become a good specialist and buy yourself a car.
- Dad, why were you lazy at school?

“Petya,” asks dad, “why are you limping?”
“I put my foot in the mousetrap and it pinched me.”
- Don't stick your nose where it shouldn't!

- Grandfather, what are you doing with this bottle? Do you want to install a boat in it?
“That’s exactly what I wanted at first.” Now I would be glad to just take my hand out of the bottle!

“Dad,” the daughter turns to her father, “our phone works badly!”
- Why did you decide that?
— Now I was talking to my friend and didn’t understand anything.
—Have you tried talking in turns?

“Mom,” Vovochka asked, “how much toothpaste is in the tube?”
- Don't know.
- And I know: from the sofa to the door!

- Dad, get on the phone! - Petya shouted to his father, who was shaving in front of the mirror.
When dad finished the conversation, Petya asked him:
- Dad, are you good at remembering faces?
- I think I remember. And what?
- The fact is that I accidentally broke your mirror...

— Dad, what is “telefiguration”?
- Don't know. Where did you read this?
- I didn’t read it, I wrote it!

- Natasha, why are you writing a letter to your grandmother so slowly?
- It’s okay: grandma reads slowly too!

- Anya, what have you done! You broke a vase that was two hundred years old!
- What happiness, mom! I thought it was completely new!

- Mom, what is etiquette?
- This is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed...

The art teacher says to Vovochka’s father:
— Your son has exceptional abilities. Yesterday he drew a fly on his desk, and I even knocked my hand away trying to get it away!
- What else is that! Recently he painted a crocodile in the bathroom, and I got so scared that I tried to jump out through the door, which was also painted on the wall.

Little Johnny says to his father:
- Dad, I decided to give you a gift for your birthday!
“The best gift for me,” said dad, “is if you study with straight A’s.”
- It's too late, dad, I already bought you a tie!

A little boy watches his dad at work as he paints the ceiling.
Mom says:
- Watch, Petya, and learn. And when you grow up, you will help your dad.
Petya is surprised:
- What, he won’t finish by then?

The hostess, hiring a new maid, asked her:
- Tell me, my dear, do you like parrots?
- Oh, don't worry, madam, I eat everything!

An auction is taking place in a pet store - talking parrots are on sale. One of the buyers who purchased a parrot asks the seller:
- Does he really speak well?
- Still would! After all, he was the one who kept increasing the price!

- Petya, what will you do if hooligans attack you?
- I’m not afraid of them - I know judo, karate, aikedo and other scary words!

- Hello! Animal defence community? There is a postman sitting on a tree in my yard and calling my poor dog all sorts of bad names!

Three bears return to their hut.
- Who touched my plate and ate my porridge?! - Papa Bear growled.
- Who touched my saucer and ate my porridge?! - the bear cub squeaked.
“Calm down,” said mother bear. - There was no porridge: I didn’t cook it today!

One man caught a cold and decided to treat himself with self-hypnosis. He stood in front of the mirror and began to inspire himself:
- I won’t sneeze, I won’t sneeze, I won’t sneeze... A-a-pchhi!!! This is not me, this is not me, this is not me...

- Mom, why does dad have so little hair on his head?
- The fact is that our dad thinks a lot.
“Then why do you have such voluminous hair?”

— Dad, today the teacher told us about an insect that lives only one day. That's great!
— Why “great”?
- Imagine, you can celebrate your birthday all your life!

One fisherman, a teacher by profession, caught a small catfish, admired it, and, throwing it back into the river, said:
- Go home and come back with your parents tomorrow!

A husband and wife came by car to visit. Leaving the car at the house, they tied the dog nearby and told it to guard the car. When they got ready to return home in the evening, they saw that all the wheels of the car had been removed. And there was a note attached to the car: “Don’t scold the dog, she was barking!”

One Englishman walked into a bar with a dog and told the visitors:
— I bet my talking dog will now read Hamlet’s monologue “To be or not to be!”
Alas, he immediately lost the bet. Because the dog didn't say a single word.
Coming out of the bar, the owner began shouting at the dog:
-Are you completely stupid?! I lost a thousand pounds because of you!
“You’re stupid,” the dog objected. - Don’t you understand that tomorrow in the same bar we can win ten times more!

- Your dog is strange - she sleeps all day long. How can she guard the house?
“It’s very simple: when someone stranger approaches the house, we wake her up and she starts barking.

The wolf is going to eat the hare. Hare says:
- Let's agree. I'll tell you three riddles. If you don't guess them, you'll let me go.
- Agree.
— A pair of black ones, shiny, with laces.
The wolf is silent.
- This is a pair of boots. Now the second riddle: four black, shiny ones, with laces.
The wolf is silent.
— Two pairs of shoes. The third riddle is the most difficult: it lives in a swamp, it is green, it croaks, it starts with “la” and ends with “gushka”.
The wolf shouts joyfully:
— Three pairs of shoes!!!

Bats hang on the ceiling. All, as expected, heads down, and one - head up. The mice hanging nearby chatter:
- Why is she hanging upside down?
- And she does yoga!

The crow found a large piece of cheese. Then a fox suddenly jumped out from behind the bushes and slapped the crow on the head. The cheese fell out, the fox immediately grabbed it and ran away.
The stunned crow says with offense:
- Wow, they shortened the fable!

The zoo director, out of breath, comes running to the police station:
- For God's sake, help, our elephant has run away!
“Calm down, citizen,” said the policeman. - We will find your elephant. Name the special signs!

An owl flies and shouts:
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!..
Suddenly he hit a pole:
- Wow!

A Japanese schoolboy enters a company store selling watches.
— Do you have a reliable alarm clock?
“It couldn’t be more reliable,” the seller answers. “First the siren goes on, then an artillery salvo is heard, and a glass of cold water is poured on your face. If that doesn't work, the alarm clock rings the school and tells you that you have the flu!

Guide: - in front of you is a rare exhibit of our museum - a beautiful statue of a Greek warrior. Unfortunately, he is missing an arm and a leg, and his head is damaged in some places. The work is called "Winner".
Visitor: - Great! I'd like to see what's left of the vanquished one!

A foreign tourist arriving in Paris turns to a Frenchman:
“I come here for the fifth time, and I see that nothing has changed!”
- What should change? - he asks.
Tourist (points to the Eiffel Tower):
— In the end, did they find oil here or not?

One society lady asked Heine:
— What do you need to do to learn to speak French?
“It’s not difficult,” he answered, “you just need to use French instead of German words.”

In a history lesson in a French school:
—Who was the father of Louis the Sixteenth?
— Louis the Fifteenth.
- Fine. And Charles the Seventh?
— Charles the Sixth.
- And Francis the First? Well, what are you silent?
- Francis... Zero!

During a history lesson, the teacher said:
— Today we will repeat the old material. Natasha, ask Semenov a question.
Natasha thought and asked:
- What year was the war of 1812?
And everyone laughed.

The parents had no time, and grandfather went to the parent meeting. He arrived in a bad mood and immediately began to scold his grandson:
- Disgrace! It turns out that your history is full of bad marks! For example, I always got straight A's in this subject!
“Of course,” the grandson answered, “at the time when you were studying, history was much shorter!”

Baba Yaga asks Koshchei the Immortal:
— How did you relax during the New Year holidays?
“I shot myself a couple of times, drowned myself three times, hanged myself once—in general, I had fun!”

Winnie the Pooh congratulated the donkey on his birthday, and then said:
- Eeyore, you must be many years old?
- Why do you say that?
- Judging by your ears, you've been pulled on them often!

A client enters a photo studio and asks the receptionist:
— I wonder why everyone is laughing in your photographs?
- You should have seen our photographer!

-What are you complaining about? - the doctor asks the patient.
- You know, by the end of the day I just fall from fatigue.
- What do you do in the evenings?
— I play the violin.
— I recommend stopping music lessons immediately!
When the patient left, the nurse asked the doctor in surprise:
- Ivan Petrovich, what does music lessons have to do with it?
- Absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s just that this woman lives on the floor above me, and our soundproofing is disgusting!

“Yesterday I pulled a pike weighing twenty kilograms out of an ice hole!”
- Can't be!
- That's it, I thought that no one would believe me, so I let her out back...

The summer resident addresses the owner of the dacha:
— Could you please lower the rent for the room a little?
- What are you talking about? With such a beautiful view of the birch grove!
- What if I promise you that I won’t look out the window?

The millionaire shows his guest his villa and says:
— And here I’m going to build three swimming pools: one with cold water, the second - with warm water, and the third - without water at all.
- Without water? - the guest is surprised. - For what?
— The fact is that some of my friends don’t know how to swim...

At a painting exhibition, one visitor asks another:
— Do you think this picture depicts a sunrise or sunset?
- Of course, sunset.
- Why do you think so?
— I know this artist. He doesn't wake up before noon.

Buyer: - I would like to buy some book.
Seller: - Would you like something light?
Buyer: - It doesn’t matter, I’m driving!

An unknown young man set a world record in the 100-meter race. A journalist interviews him:
- How did you do it? Have you trained a lot in any sports club?
- No, at the shooting range. I work there replacing targets...

“I recently ran two kilometers in one minute at a school competition!”
- You're lying! This is better than a world record!
- Yes, but I know a shortcut!